Tag Archives: Uncle Omar

Barack “Cain” Obama, Where Art Thy Brother?

BrotherOriginally posted at The Blacksphere

Remember during a 2012 campaign speech when criticizing those who wouldn’t buy into his left-wing policy plans to redistribute the wealth, Barack Obama attempted to quote Scripture by saying, “I am my brother’s keeper?”

Hoping to appeal to values voters, the president stressed, “Look, there’s no way of getting around that. Either folks like me are doing more, or somebody who can’t afford it is getting less.  And that’s not right.”

To drive home the point, the president adjusted his pretend clerical collar and then said, “I hear politicians talking about values in an election year,” and continued:

I hear a lot about that. Let me tell you about values. Hard work, personal responsibility–those are values. But looking out for one another. That’s a value. The idea that we’re all in this together. I am my brother’s keeper. I am my sister’s keeper. That’s a value.

That time the president was exploiting the Bible to justify increasing teacher salaries, freezing interest rates on student loans, and investing in fetus-destroying stem cell research.  And even bogus climate change studies and plans to “double down” on supporting green companies.

What the Genesis story of Cain and Abel had to do with debunking what Obama called “you’re-on-your-own economics” is a mystery to anyone with even the most rudimentary understanding of Scripture.

In this particular case, it’s unlikely that the Vermonters, who live in the state where religion is least important, knew the proper context of the Scripture. So the very crowd Reverend Obama was propagandizing probably didn’t even recognize its improper usage.

Still, the thing about the president is that he cherry-picks and then misrepresents Scripture and uses it as weapon against his political adversaries.  Yet when it comes to practicing what he preaches, he’s always guilty of not doing what he demands of others.

Take for instance his dropping the ball in being a keeper of his own brothers. Barack Obama allows his half-brother George Hussein Obama to live in a slum-dog shanty lean-to in Nairobi. More recently, Barack the ‘Brother Keeper’ denied knowing his father’s brother, Uncle Omar Onyango Obama.

When a confused Omar publicly contradicted his nephew, the president walked back his comments. Obama then blamed his staff for falsifying his relationship with his uncle, and admitted he once lived with Omar in Cambridge while attending Harvard Law, the elite institution whose transcripts the president’s lawyers have sealed.

Now Obama’s half-brother, Mark Okoth Obama Ndesandjo, has shared his confusion with conservative radio talk show host, Laura Ingraham, as to why Barack told CNN in 2009 after the brothers met up in China that they had just met for the first time a few years earlier.  At the time, Obama said:

“I don’t know him well. I met him for the first time a couple of years ago.”

The brothers spent time in Kenya together and have gotten together on more than one occasion here in the states. During the interview, Mark told Laura Ingraham that at the time:

 “I was floored by it — I don’t know why he said it. I think he was being president and was not being my brother.”

Why did Barack Obama, promoter of ‘brother keeping,’ deny having a relationship with his half-brother Mark, who is currently self-publishing an autobiography due out in February entitled Cultures: My Odyssey of Self-Discovery?

On a book promotional tour, when Mark was asked about his relationship with his brother Barack, he replied:

“Right now it’s cold and I think part of the reason is because of my writing. My writing has alienated some people in my family.”

Hopeful for reconciliation in the future, Mark said, “I hope that my brother and I can really hug each other after he’s president and we can be a family again.”

The president probably doesn’t realize it, but the Biblical story he referenced in Vermont while running for reelection is more fitting to how he treats his own flesh and blood than how the American people treat the needy.

When Obama used Scripture on that occasion to advance his own misguided agenda, he did it by misquoting Cain, one of the two sons of Adam and Eve.

Out of jealousy and rage, Cain murdered Abel.  When God, who already knew the answer to the question, asked, “Where [is] Abel thy brother?” much like Obama with his own family, Cain pretended he didn’t know where his brother was and responded, “I know not: [Am] I my brother’s keeper?”

Once again, Obama is condemned by words he thought he could misuse to condemn others.

Based on his denial that he knew his own brother Mark, the Scripture the president used to convict his political adversaries, instead convicts him of how he treats, or rather mistreats, his own family.

So for political expediency, Barack Obama demanded and continues to demand that Americans become the keepers of a phantom group of brothers he has concocted in his own mind. Meanwhile he ignores, rejects and hurts his literal flesh and blood.

If, in order to push his left-wing agenda, the president insists on Americans caring for imaginary brothers, then if asked again, “Where is thy brother,” the last thing that should be coming of Barack Obama’s lying mouth is “I know not.”

A Holiday Obama Family Reunion

holiday

Originally posted at The Blacksphere

Sometimes in life, when you least expect it, things just come together perfectly. Take for example the irony of first lady Michelle Obama previewing the 2013 White House holiday décor on the same day the president recalled that he did indeed meet his father’s brother/long-lost uncle, Onyango “Omar” Obama.

This year’s Gather Around: Stories of the Season couldn’t be a more appropriate theme for the Obama family to be inspired to lay claim to lost traditions with family members like formerly-estranged Uncle Omar.

During the recent holiday press preview, Michelle Obama told the children of military families that this Christmas for the Obamas the “goal is for every room and every tree to tell a story about who we are and how we gather around one another to mark the holidays.”

With the president’s kinfolk from Kenya back in his life, celebrating the stories of his own family would certainly contribute to the fabric of how a diverse nation of Americans celebrates this special time of year. Telling stories about who we are and “how we gather around one another” and being equipped with discussion topics from Organizing for America’s “Healthcare for the Holidays” propaganda just screams ‘Obama Christmas Family Reunion.’

Guests like Aunt Zeituni, Uncle Omar, and even the president’s half-brother George would be a perfect addition to holiday family time spent with Kenya’s most famous son, his lovely bride, and their two adorable daughters.

If the Obama extended family decides to grace the White House with their presence, Omar and George can bunk in the Lincoln Bedroom and Aunt Zeituni can crash on a roll-out cot in Grandma Marion Robinson’s boudoir.

Up and around touring the premises, Obama’s kinfolk can sample the 300-pound gingerbread house while munching on a few of the 1,200 Springerle cookie ornaments.

If the president decides to set a leadership example and ‘lay claim to lost traditions,’ then in the same fashion as he does for his annual Iftar dinner, he can host a traditional Kenyan family Christmas celebration.

White House chef Sam Kass can rustle up rice pudding, and on a spit out back he can roast some nyama choma, which consists of chicken, lamb and a whole variety of other meats.

After filling up on a buffet of South African goodies such as wali wa nazi, plantain banana stew, and sausages made of ground meat parts and goat blood encased in goat intestines, the “Let’s Move!”-friendly Kenyan Christmas dancing can officially begin, which traditionally continues far into the night.

The only problem the president might run into, besides disturbing the neighbors with the relentless drumming on the sikuti, is trying to supply Uncle Omar and brother George Obama with enough libation to keep them interested in the family reunification effort for the duration of the holiday season.

Uncle Omar is a package store manager from Framingham, Massachusetts who was arrested in 2011 for a DUI, so his adult beverage needs are pretty basic. However, George Obama is an entirely different story. Allegedly George lives in a hut in a Nairobi slum where his neighbors call him ‘Mister President!’

Once addicted to cocaine and heroin, George claims to have kicked both habits. Instead, from morning until night, the younger Obama supposedly keeps his whistle wet with Chang’aa — a spirit distilled with maize and spiked with chemicals.

"Kill me quick" Chang’aa

“Kill me quick” Chang’aa

To to get all the ingredients necessary to provide George with ample quantities of Chang’aa, Sam Kass will have to arrange sizable shipments of maize, ethanol, embalming fluid, and/or battery acid.If mixed incorrectly, Chang’aa can cause blindness and death.

Regular drinkers suffer liver and kidney failure and mental damage called ‘wet brain,’ the latter of which makes one think George’s older brother ‘drunk with power’ Barry may have occasionally sampled a shot or two while visiting the clan in the motherland.

But one thing is certain – Aunt Zeituni and probably Uncle Omar haven’t signed up for Obamacare as of yet. So at least the president can engage them in “Healthcare for the Holiday” dinner table conversation.

As for George, if the president plies his brother with enough Chang’aa he can probably convince him to stay in America and start a slumdog football team on the South Side of Chicago to help promote healthcare.gov to “young invincibles.”

Either way, with Uncle Omar’s new green card in hand, there is cause for family celebration. Moreover, now that Uncle Omar has the same status as Aunt Zeituni, who attended her nephew’s 2009 inauguration, what better time to make up for lost time than Christmas?

That’s why Barack and Michelle, after expressing a desire to “Gather Around: Stories of the Season,” couldn’t ask for a more perfect group to revisit lost traditions with than Uncle Omar, Aunt Zeituni and the president’s brother George Obama.

And so the hope is that Kenya’s very own magi are eager to spend the holiday season wallowing in the warm, welco

Barack Obama Fesses Up on Uncle Omar

Part of an ongoing series chronicling the trials and tribulations of Barack Obama’s Uncle Omar

Originally posted at American Thinker blog

Oops! First it was ‘if you like your insurance you can keep your insurance.’ Then it was ‘if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor.’ Now, after the president’s spokes-prevaricators said that Barack Obama had never met his father’s half-brother Omar Onyango Obama, affectionately referred to by many as Uncle Omar, we come to find out that that’s another lie.

Yet in a way it’s understandable that Barack Obama would want to place distance between himself and his colorful Kenyan family, some of whom have lived America illegally for 50 years, still mooch off of welfare, and in Omar Onyango Obama’s case, give new meaning to the words ‘drunk uncle.’

Omar made his first public appearance when he tried to call the White House after banging back a few brewskis at the Chicken Bone Saloon, climbed into his white Mitshubishi SUV with a blood-alcohol level of 0.14, nearly rear-ended a police cruiser on a Framingham, Massachusetts street, and was arrested for a DUI.

Apparently the liquor store manager never got the memo instructing him to stick to the story that his nephew never met him. That’s why Obama’s uncle informed the arresting officer, “I think I will call the White House.”

The president had already acknowledged Omar’s sister, Aunt Zeituni Onyango. Zeituni attended the historic 2008 presidential inauguration, currently lives in a Boston housing project, and also evaded deportation in 2010. However, Omar’s legendary American nephew never recognized his Kenyan uncle.

In 2011 after requesting that his one phone call from the holding cell in the local police station be to his brother’s son, the White House announced there was no record of Omar and Obama ever meeting.

But Uncle Omar didn’t let go. At a recent deportation hearing, Omar told the judge that his nephew currently lives in the White House, but once briefly lived with him.

Omar informed the judge that in the 1980s while he was skulking around Boston hoping to avoid deportation, Barack Obama briefly bunked with him in his Cambridge apartment while studying to be a law-abiding Harvard lawyer.

In response to Omar dropping the Obama family name again, the White House press office fall guys rushed to take the blame for the 2011 Omar-and-Obama-never-met statement. The excuse now is that at the time the press office had failed to fully research Omar and Barry’s familial ties.

Now the story is that when asked directly about Uncle Omar, the president proudly acknowledged his estranged, formerly illegal drunken uncle.

The official White House statement said this:

The president first met Omar Obama when he moved to Cambridge for law school. The president did stay with him for a brief period of time until his apartment was ready. After that, they saw each other once every few months, but after law school they fell out of touch. The president has not seen him in 20 years, has not spoken with him in 10.

Wonder whether the president not speaking to his uncle also included refusing to take Omar’s phone call from the Framingham police station in 2011.

Either way, newly-minted green card holder Uncle Omar talked up his Kenyan family yet again and referred to his beloved nephew, saying, “It’s a good thing to let your nephew stay with you…your brother’s kids are your kids as well.”

Hey! Mr. Onyango sounds just like Barack Obama, who once said “I am my brother’s keeper. I am my sister’s keeper” which, despite the Omar controversy, can’t be held against the president because he didn’t say “my uncle’s keeper.”

White House Connections? Obama’s Illegal Uncle Omar Gets to Stay

Uncle Omar

Originally posted at The Clash Daily

A trait that seems to be intrinsic to the Obama family blood line is flouting the US Constitution and defying the law. The Obama genetic propensity is undeniable: if you don’t like the rules, ignore them and do what you want.

In fact, President Obama, who makes things up as he goes along, may have inherited his carefree style from his father’s brother Onyango “Omar” Obama who came to the US illegally 50 years ago, was deported several times, but decided to stay.

Now, Framingham package store manager Omar, after ignoring numerous deportation or removal orders and despite being arrested for a DUI, has been granted dispensation by a federal judge to apply for US citizenship in five years.

The judge’s decision was based on a federal immigration law that allows people who have lived in the United States since prior to 1972 to apply for residency. Other than driving drunk, being in America illegally, and ignoring deportation orders, Shapiro ruled that Onyango “Uncle Omar” Obama is a man of good moral character, pays taxes, and meets the criteria for legal permanent residency.

For greater context, it’s interesting to note that Omar is the half-brother of the president’s late socialist polygamist/alcoholic/womanizing father and the brother of the president’s Aunt Zeituni Onyango. Zeituni also avoided deportation in 2010 and currently lives on welfare in a Boston housing project.

In August of 2011, Uncle Omar was partying in the Chicken Bone Saloon. Afterward, while tooling along in his white Mitsubishi SUV, he blew through a stop sign and nearly rammed into an unmarked vehicle driven by a police officer named Val Krishtal.

Officer Krishtal said that he noticed that Obama had “red and glassy eyes, slurred speech, and strong odor of alcohol and appeared unsteady on his feet.” Lest we forget, Omar’s brother, Barack Obama Sr., after losing both legs driving drunk in one car accident, lost his life at age 46 in another drunken-driving accident.

Krishtal said that after being pulled over, Mr. Obama, in true Obama fashion, became quarrelsome.

According to the police officer:

The male would not allow me to speak and continued to interrupt me … I explained to him that I narrowly avoided striking his vehicle, and he told me that he did not hear my tires screeching, so I was not being accurate. While he spoke with me, he kept leaning away from me.

At first, Mr. “good moral character” Onyango exhibited another family trait of stretching the truth and denied having imbibed any alcoholic beverages at all. Then, he changed his story and admitted that he did originally say Americans would be able to keep their health care insurance plan and keep their doctors.

Wait! Wrong Obama.

With a blood-alcohol level of 0.14%, well above the state’s legal limit of 0.08%, this Obama finally confessed that he had lied, was promptly taken into custody, and was held without bail on an Immigration and Customs Enforcement detainer. In response to his arrest, Omar said, “I think I will call the White House.”

Although Onyango Obama is believed to be the “Uncle Omar” that President Obama makes reference to in his memoir, Dreams From My Father, just as he did with radical friends like Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers and Tony Rezko, “My Brother’s Keeper” Obama continues to deny that he even knows his father’s brother.

Despite the president’s insistence that he has never met Mr. Onyango, Barack’s uncle maintains to this day that the two have a relationship. The newly-minted green card owner insists that in the late 1980s his nephew Barack lived with him for three weeks while the future president was a student at Harvard Law School in Cambridge.

But after all is said and done, it doesn’t matter who Uncle Omar knows, because after a fierce two-year fight to remain in the United States and after dropping his famous nephew’s name yet again as he reminded U.S. Immigration Judge Leonard Shapiro, “I do have a nephew. He’s the president of the United States” – apparently Uncle Omar is here to stay, just like Aunt Zeituni.

In the end, Uncle Omar really doesn’t need Barack Obama Jr.’s help, because although his nephew denies even knowing him, the Kenyan national may have an unlikely advocate in House Majority Leader John Boehner.

Coincidentally, right about the time Uncle Omar was granted permanent residency by a federal immigration judge, it seems Mr. Boehner was in the process of hiring a new staffer in charge of immigration policy named Rebecca Tallent. John Boehner hiring a woman who has significant experience in drafting immigration legislation and pushing for reform, signals that the Speaker supports a pathway to citizenship.

That’s why when John Boehner holds the immigration reform votes that he swore he was delaying until 2014, he can divert attention from his vacillation on the issue by embracing Barack Obama’s Uncle Omar as the type of upstanding illegal that bipartisan Republicans believe are deserving of amnesty.

A trait that seems to be intrinsic to the Obama family blood line is flouting the US Constitution and defying the law. The Obama genetic propensity is undeniable: if you don’t like the rules, ignore them and do what you want.

In fact, President Obama, who makes things up as he goes along, may have inherited his carefree style from his father’s brother Onyango “Omar” Obama who came to the US illegally 50 years ago, was deported several times, but decided to stay.

Now, Framingham package store manager Omar, after ignoring numerous deportation or removal orders and despite being arrested for a DUI, has been granted dispensation by a federal judge to apply for US citizenship in five years.

The judge’s decision was based on a federal immigration law that allows people who have lived in the United States since prior to 1972 to apply for residency. Other than driving drunk, being in America illegally, and ignoring deportation orders, Shapiro ruled that Onyango “Uncle Omar” Obama is a man of good moral character, pays taxes, and meets the criteria for legal permanent residency.

For greater context, it’s interesting to note that Omar is the half-brother of the president’s late socialist polygamist/alcoholic/womanizing father and the brother of the president’s Aunt Zeituni Onyango. Zeituni also avoided deportation in 2010 and currently lives on welfare in a Boston housing project.

In August of 2011, Uncle Omar was partying in the Chicken Bone Saloon. Afterward, while tooling along in his white Mitsubishi SUV, he blew through a stop sign and nearly rammed into an unmarked vehicle driven by a police officer named Val Krishtal.

Officer Krishtal said that he noticed that Obama had “red and glassy eyes, slurred speech, and strong odor of alcohol and appeared unsteady on his feet.” Lest we forget, Omar’s brother, Barack Obama Sr., after losing both legs driving drunk in one car accident, lost his life at age 46 in another drunken-driving accident.

Krishtal said that after being pulled over, Mr. Obama, in true Obama fashion, became quarrelsome. According to the police officer: “The male would not allow me to speak and continued to interrupt me … I explained to him that I narrowly avoided striking his vehicle, and he told me that he did not hear my tires screeching, so I was not being accurate. While he spoke with me, he kept leaning away from me.”

At first, Mr. “good moral character” Onyango exhibited another family trait of stretching the truth and denied having imbibed any alcoholic beverages at all. Then, he changed his story and admitted that he did originally say Americans would be able to keep their health care insurance plan and keep their doctors.

Wait! Wrong Obama.

With a blood-alcohol level of 0.14%, well above the state’s legal limit of 0.08%, this Obama finally confessed that he had lied, was promptly taken into custody, and was held without bail on an Immigration and Customs Enforcement detainer. In response to his arrest, Omar said, “I think I will call the White House.”

Although Onyango Obama is believed to be the “Uncle Omar” that President Obama makes reference to in his memoir, Dreams From My Father, just as he did with radical friends like Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers and Tony Rezko, “My Brother’s Keeper” Obama continues to deny that he even knows his father’s brother.

Despite the president’s insistence that he has never met Mr. Onyango, Barack’s uncle maintains to this day that the two have a relationship. The newly-minted green card owner insists that in the late 1980s his nephew Barack lived with him for three weeks while the future president was a student at Harvard Law School in Cambridge.

But after all is said and done, it doesn’t matter who Uncle Omar knows, because after a fierce two-year fight to remain in the United States and after dropping his famous nephew’s name yet again as he reminded U.S. Immigration Judge Leonard Shapiro, “I do have a nephew. He’s the president of the United States” – apparently Uncle Omar is here to stay, just like Aunt Zeituni.

In the end, Uncle Omar really doesn’t need Barack Obama Jr.’s help, because although his nephew denies even knowing him, the Kenyan national may have an unlikely advocate in House Majority Leader John Boehner.

Coincidentally, right about the time Uncle Omar was granted permanent residency by a federal immigration judge, it seems Mr. Boehner was in the process of hiring a new staffer in charge of immigration policy named Rebecca Tallent. John Boehner hiring a woman who has significant experience in drafting immigration legislation and pushing for reform, signals that the Speaker supports a pathway to citizenship.

That’s why when John Boehner holds the immigration reform votes that he swore he was delaying until 2014, he can divert attention from his vacillation on the issue by embracing Barack Obama’s Uncle Omar as the type of upstanding illegal that bipartisan Republicans believe are deserving of amnesty.
Read more at http://clashdaily.com/2013/12/white-house-connections-obamas-illegal-uncle-omar-gets-stay/#Lbbg1swUDlaA2o5u.99

Obama’s Uncle Omar Fights for Asylum

Originally posted at American Thinker blog

Barack Obama’s illegal-immigrant Uncle Omar is in the news again. If Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) finally get their way, in the future Uncle Omar, aka Onyango Obama, will not be frequenting the Chicken Bone Saloon.

Last year, it was widely reported that Obama’s illegal Uncle Omar called attention to himself by nearly smashing his Mitsubishi 4×4 into a police patrol car in Framingham, Massachusetts. Obama’s uncle, who first denied being drunk and then admitted to having just two beers, was out cruising with a blood alcohol level of .14, well above the .08 legal limits.

According to arresting officer Val Krishtal, both he and another driver were forced to “slam on their brakes to avoid hitting Mr. Obama’s car, which rolled through a stop sign and took a quick left turn.”  Although formidably soused, Mr. Obama, in true Obama-family style, argued that he had the “right of way and said he doubted the officer was forced to brake hard as he did not hear his brakes squeal.”

Spending the evening in the Chicken Bone Saloon, famous for both “chicken and [loud] tunes,” could explain Uncle Omar’s aural acuity being compromised and why he didn’t hear the squealing brakes. The quick ‘left’ turn speaks for itself.

Mr. Obama was promptly pulled over and “charged with driving under the influence and … to endanger, as well as failing to use a turn signal.”  Uncle Omar was also “detained as an illegal immigrant because the US Bureau of Immigration and Customs Enforcement have an outstanding warrant for him.” It seems 20 years ago the wily Omar was ordered to return home to Kenya, but chose to stay instead.

In Barack Obama’s 1995 bestselling book “Dreams from My Father,” the President referred to Omar as “the uncle who had left for America 25 years ago and had never come back.” Ordered back to Kenya in 1992, Omar decided to stay.  Maybe Onyango figured that if he got in trouble his Hawaiian-born nephew with the valid US birth certificate would vouch for him.

Besides always pleading innocent, the Kenyan side of Barack Obama’s family also has a genetic propensity to successfully elude ICE. And when in danger of deportation, they somehow find lawyers to assist in winning them sanctuary.

Until she was granted asylum in 2010, Uncle Omar’s sister, Barack’s Auntie Zeituni, lived on welfare as a “retired” illegal immigrant in a Boston housing project. Omar and Zeituni are Obama’s grandfather Hussein Onyango Obama’s children by his third wife Sarah.  This is where it gets a little complicated because Sarah is the woman who raised the President’s late father, Barack Sr., who was Hussein Obama’s son by Hussein’s second wife, Akumu.

Naturally, much like Aunt Zeituni, Uncle Omar wants to continue living his life in Framingham, working at Conti Liquors and spending his downtime eating and grooving at the Chicken Bone Saloon.  So, even though he met with immigration officials, who are beginning the process of making his overdue deportation to the Republic of Kenya a reality, Obama has hired the immigration attorneys who helped win Zeituni legal residency in 2010.

The ultimate outcome for Obama’s uncle is uncertain, but at least for now, instead of Luo-style Benga music Uncle Omar can still enjoy award-winning wings and listen to the blues at the Chicken Bone Saloon. And while living and earning money in America, unlike his Kenyan brethren back home, Uncle Omar will be able to finance his legal fight with US currency, instead of cows.

Obama’s Drunk Uncle Omar Pleads Innocent

Originally posted at American Thinker blog

It’s 2012 and Barack Obama’s uncle Onyango Obama is back in court. Onyango is brother to the President’s late father Barack Sr., which may explain why, in an astonishing display of Obama family consanguinity, Onyango, aka ‘Uncle Omar,’ displays a genetic propensity to plead innocent regardless of what kind of chaos he’s caused.

Last summer, Uncle Omar was arrested for drunk driving. In November his lawyer attempted to shift Omar’s culpability onto the arresting police officer by asking the court to dismiss charges based on what he feels is the unfair practice of asking a drunk driver to pull over and take a Breathalyzer test.

Out driving his SUV with a 0.14 blood alcohol level in a state where 0.08 is the legal limit, Barack Obama’s illegal immigrant uncle was tooling along, enjoying the Bay State scenery, alcohol on his breath and “chicken and tunes” in the air. That was when Onyango made a “rolling stop” in front of the Chicken Bone Saloon in downtown Framingham and, according to witnesses, nearly slammed into arresting Officer Val Krishtal’s police cruiser

Maybe Omar was rushing to Boston to visit Barack’s famous Aunt Zeituni.  Zeituni Onyango lived illegally in Massachusetts since 2000; she was “denied asylum by an immigration judge in 2004” but decided to stay for six more years, during which time she was honored to attend her nephew Barack’s inauguration.  In 2010 Aunt Zeituni “was granted asylum” after a judge felt she faced “discrimination in Kenya as a member of the Luo tribe.

In lieu of traditional circumcision, the Luo people are among the few Kenyan tribes that have an initiation into manhood wherein they remove six front teeth from the lower jaw.  In Kenya Aunt Zeituni would get to keep her teeth, but for Omar it’s a completely different story, keeping his teeth may be why the President’s uncle has felt it necessary to dodge an order of deportation for the last 20 years.

Meanwhile, according to the arresting officer, at the time of the traffic stop a chatty Uncle Omar would not allow Officer Krishtal to speak and continually interrupted him.  Inebriated, Omar argued the point that his ‘stop’ was passable and admitted only to failing to yield the right of way to the police cruiser.

Nephew Barack must have sat many an hour at Uncle Omar’s knee, because drunk with power, he’s equally delusional about blowing through political stop signs, creating national calamities and causing economic pileups.

Maybe Uncle Omar can convince the authorities that he shouldn’t be held accountable because he only recognizes the word “Stop” when it’s written in Dholuo. As for the DUI factor, that too could have been a simple mistake, because ‘drunk’ in Swahili is ‘mlevi,’ which is what Omar was doing – he was me-leaving the Chicken Bone Saloon and driving somewhere else.

The officer’s report said that when asked “how much he had to drink,” initially Uncle Omar said “nothing.” Perplexed, the arresting officer told Mr. Obama that “there was strong odor of alcohol on him” to which Omar admitted to having one beer. That type of honesty should be applauded, because if Barack were behind the wheel he’d stick to his original story and blame G. W. Bush for spilling a pint of lager on his freshly laundered outfit.

Pressing on, Officer Krishtal told Uncle Omar that one beer does not a drunken souse make, and that “his behavior was indicative of an intoxicated individual,” after which Uncle Omar ‘fessed up to knocking back not one, but two beers. Now, before we judge the man too harshly, maybe he was saying he had two yards of beer, which technically still falls into the two beers category and, strictly speaking, wouldn’t exactly be lying.

Either way, according to the officer, “during a horizontal gaze test, where the driver is asked to follow an officer’s finger” — unlike his well-practiced nephew, who can follow a scrolling Teleprompter regardless of how many martinis he’s consumed — Uncle Omar’s eye-to-finger skills were a tad wobbly.

Krishtal said that when asked to step out of the vehicle, the 67-year old Obama was “moderately unsteady on his feet.”   Seems Uncle Omar, much like his nephew, was anxious to prove his ability to get the job done so he proceeded to “begin the test before being instructed to do so.  When asked to perform a nine-step walk, the officer allegedly witnessed Obama stumble and was barely able to keep himself up,” which ultimately earned him a ride to headquarters in the back seat of the same police cruiser he almost demolished.

After being booked at the Framingham police station, Mr. Obama skipped calling the boss at Conti Liquors and decided not to disturb Aunt Zeituni.  Instead, giving new meaning to Hillary’s “who do you want answering the phone” at 3:00 am ad, when granted his one phone call Uncle Omar contemplated calling the White House.

Whether he did or didn’t is still a mystery.  What we do know is that last fall, spiffily dressed, uppers and lowers intact, Mr. Obama appeared in court and, in typical Obama family fashion, pleaded not guilty. A lawyer for Onyango told a judge he planned to “file a motion to suppress the traffic stop that led to his client’s arrest” because he felt that Omar, although driving drunk and illegal, “was not committing any motor vehicle violations.”

Citing an automobile accident Officer Krishtal had in November, it seems maybe Uncle Omar and his lawyer are trying the ole’ change-the-conversation-to-G.W. Bush tactic on poor Officer Krishtal.  This is how it goes: Screw up the economy – blame Bush. Run a stop sign and nearly smash into a police vehicle while driving drunk and illegal – blame the police officer.

And so, yet another member of the Obama clan plays the put-upon victim.  Uncle Omar drove under the influence of alcohol but pleaded not guilty to operating a motor vehicle under the influence of alcohol. And so, despite all the evidence to the contrary, Omar’s continued insistence that he’s innocent makes one wonder if maybe Barack Obama didn’t pick up that phone at 3:00 am and coach Uncle Omar on how Obamas play the blame game, change the subject, and despite being guilty, always come out on top.

 

The “Yes We Kenya Clan” Reality Show

Originally posted at American Thinker

If America thinks Dancing with the Stars featuring Nancy Grace, Chaz Bono, and Carson Kressley is going to be interesting, just think what a hit a reality show starring the eclectic, zany cast of Barack Obama’s Kenyan family members would be.

With the humongous Dunham-Hawaiian/Soetoro-Indonesian family tree, over the past few years it’s become hard to keep track of all the President’s Kenyan paternal cousins, step-grandmothers, half-brothers, half-sister, aunts, and uncles.

To remedy that confusion, America may be willing to explore the exotic and agree to overlook molestation, DWIs, and illegal status for a couple of months, invite the Obama clan to a huge mansion in the style of the Bachelor Pad, and before the 2012 election really get to know what ancestral dysfunction shapes Barack’s behavior.

The premise of the “Yes We Kenya Clan” reality show would be to see which family members can ingratiate themselves to the President to the point where he actually acknowledges that they’re blood relatives.

Whoever survives for the duration will get to move out of their respective housing project, be granted amnesty, or excused from jail time or probation.

On the finale, the President, under duress, will “share the wealth” by either inviting the winner to the White House for Thanksgiving, pulling some strings with the INS or British law enforcement, or volunteering to finance their living expenses by doubling his/her income from $1 to $2 per month.

Let’s face it, for a president supposedly so concerned with fairness, there is a glaring inequity when it comes to relatives.  Heck, Marian Robinson lives in the White House, eats kale from the organic garden, and globe trots with daughter Michelle on the taxpayers’ dime. Yet Barry’s Aunt Janie hasn’t even attended a backyard BBQ or slept over once in the Lincoln bedroom.

The “Yes We Kenya Clan” reality series could premiere with the Obamas piling out of a stretch limo in front of a luxurious temporary home, greeted by Kenyan musicians.

The stars could be interviewed by a Chris Harrison type who can ask each one how they feel about their famous relative and to give a short synopsis of their I’m-related-to-Barack strategy for the show.

Afterwards the family can all settle into the mansion where Jersey Shore’s Snooki and the Situation could make a surprise visit to coach the stars on what types of scenarios make for successful reality TV.

To loosen up the kinfolk, Aunt Hawa Auma can tell stories in front of the fireplace about her brother, Barack’s polygamist father, a Harvard grad who called himself Dr. even though he got thrown out of the doctoral program at Harvard for womanizing. Hawa can share how, before being killed in a drunken car wreck in 1982, the patriarch who spent his life boozing and bragging about his superior intelligence managed to get around town after losing both his legs in a prior drunk-driving accident.

At family-style roasted goat dinners, step-Granny Sarah Onyango Obama can share memories of Obama’s late paternal grandfather Hussein Onyango Obama.  In the book Dreams from My Father, Granny Sarah told Obama that “Even from the time that he was a boy, your grandfather Onyango was strange. It is said of him that he had ants up his anus, because he could not sit still.”

If they agreed to participate, the President’s colorful array of half-brothers and sisters would add texture to the endeavor.  There is Malik/Obongo, Auma, and Bernard, all of whom will likely be relatively well-behaved.  However, the ladies should watch out if alleged half-brother Abo, also known as Samson, shows up on set, because things could become treacherous for them.

Samson is the Barack-brother barred from the UK after being accused of, but not prosecuted for, sexual assault while living in Britain illegally.

They could also have half-brother Mark Okoth Obama Ndesandjo, brother to David Ndesando (also known as David Opiyo Obama, who lost his life in a tragic motorcycle accident).

Then there’s Obama’s youngest brother, George, who literally adds the “reality” to the reality show.  George is famous because while his flesh-and-blood brother lives in the White House helping the poor with other peoples’ money, little brother lives on “less than a dollar a month” in a “six-by-eight foot corrugated metal shack in slums of Huruma Flats in Nairobi.”

In the crazy uncle department, there’s Yusuf and Sayid and the notorious Uncle Omar. Omar, the President’s half-uncle, lives illegally in Massachusetts just a stone’s throw from sister Aunti Zeituni, another illegal alien living off the Boston taxpayers in a government-subsidized housing project, who was granted asylum by the US.

Uncle Onyango Omar, who has evaded deportation since 1992, was recently arrested after rolling through a stop sign while driving drunk and nearly being rear-ended by an unmarked police car. His blood relation to the President became obvious when, after being pulled over, Uncle O immediately tried to argue that the police officer was in the wrong and should have yielded to him.

Uncle O stands to gain the most if he manages to convince Obama to invite him to the White House, especially after calling while nephew was on vacation in Martha’s Vineyard and finding nobody home.  Omar needs bail money; he could also use some amnesty and an extended president-financed stint in rehab.

Who eventually emerges the winner and stands to potentially gain legal citizenship or have their “get out of jail free” card reissued isn’t important.  What matters is that America will finally get to intimately know the warm family circle of upstanding Kenyan/British/illegal immigrants that comprise the president’s distinguished lineage on his father’s side.

Sure, Samson will have to be kept away from female camera crew and production staff. And Uncle Omar will have to be restricted from the wet bar and swimming in the heated pool with a cocktail after dark, as well as banned from driving golf carts.

And while the potential is there for a few sleazy Jersey Shore-like episodes and an occasional rowdy brawl, the benefits outweigh the cost. Because just like the promise of “Hope and Change,” whenever Barack Obama is involved there’s always a price to pay.  However, this time around, it may be worth it because before the 2012 election, after four years of puzzling behavior America may want to know beforehand what really makes the man with the “Yes We Kenya” bloodline tick.

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