Tag Archives: Tiger Woods

Sexy Snails and Other Federally Funded Priorities

imageIn order to find a way to reopen White House tours, somebody should really be appointed the job of figuring out where to cut corners.  Clearly, the $900K that was spent on the president’s weekend golfing expedition with Tiger Woods in Florida, at the rate of $74,000 per week, could have kept the doors open to schoolchildren for the remainder of the school year.

If the feds want to squeeze another couple of months’ worth of tours out of the tight budget, maybe the National Science Foundation can rescind its $876,752 grant to the University of Iowa to study the sex lives of New Zealand mud snails.  During this administration at least, finding out “why any organism has sex,” apparently takes priority over White House tours for students. But then again, isn’t Georgetown University sexpert Sandra Fluke someone who should be able to answer that question without it costing taxpayers a million dollars?

Nonetheless, the purpose of the snail sex study is to see if it’s better for snails to “reproduce sexually or asexually.”  Seems snails do both, which could offer hope for women who desire to have children but just haven’t met that special someone just yet.

Read the remainder of the article at The Blacksphere

Tiger’s Three Wood Has a Grubby, Yucky Problem

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Addendum to the Grubby and the Tiger post:

Let’s see if we have this straight…

Tiger cheats on Elin with Rachel and Rachel is mad at Tiger for cheating on Rachel?

Tiger thought Jamie Grubb (Grubby) would keep their sorted affair secret because everyone knows mistresses are people you can trust to be honest? If Jamie had kept her mouth shut Rachel would be none the wiser.

All eight (so far) of Tiger’s girlfriends sincerely believed that they were the only ones–other than his pregnant wife of course?

Rachel Uchitel, or if you prefer ‘Yucky,’ had no problem sleeping with a lying, sneaking adulterer as long as he promised to remain faithful to her alone?

Rachel believed Tiger would be true because everyone knows that married cheaters are monogamous?

‘Yucky’ found out in the tabloids that Tiger was simultaneously bedding eight women, which for Rachel was one (1) too many more than Tiger’s wife Elin?

Doesn’t  the lovely and charming Miss Uchitel understand that a guy can get waylaid when traveling through Las Vegas?

Rachel ‘Yucky’ Uchitel, bastion of morality, “was mad at Tiger when she found out about the other girls and did not speak to him for three days, but he texted her.”  In the intellectual circles Rachel travels in text messaging, sexting and emailing are not officially considered  speaking?

According to Rachel, the relationship lasted for two months and Rachel believes her affair with Tiger was “intense and real.” (Taking a momentary gander at Rachel’s breasts and lips, it is apparent that ‘Yucky’ doesn’t even know what the word “real” means.)

According to updated adultery standards if you earnestly believe a relationship is “intense and real”– taking a bubble bath with someone elses’ husband, while he blows goodnight kisses to his children on the cellphone makes the scandalous copulation that follows acceptable.

But then again, one can understand Tiger’s fascination with the Hampton’s Diva who said, “I’m obsessed with work ethic and can get anything done,” who better than Tiger Woods knows what that’s about?

Rachel, the supposed love of Tiger’s life, also said, ” I’m aware of what I am good at and what I am not, and I surround myself with people to help get the job done flawlessly,” which brings to mind the other eight women who helped ‘Yucky’ “get the job done.”

In addition, Miss Uchitel prides herself on superior service, ” I’m intuitive about reading people’s wants and needs, and I take customer service to a whole new level.” America hears you young lady you have certainly taken “service to a whole new level.”

Rachel said, “Tiger pursued her for 4 months before they actually got involved, and he was very possessive and jealous.”  Before  surrendering to a married man it is always good etiquette to make him wait for more than three months.   Earth to Rachel, this guy chases little balls for 18 holes all over a green –so don’t be so flattered.

Poor, clueless ‘Yucky’ seems unaware that — Tiger pursued Elin who, until he won her over, wanted nothing to do with Tiger.  Finally, proposing to her while on safari observing the mating habits of none other than wild African tigers — which should have been the Swedish beauty’s first clue to run for the hills.

If ‘Yucky’ Uchitel is angry about Tiger the ‘cheetah’ breaking his fidelity promise to fornicate only with her, one has to wonder how the scorned mistress feels about the news that Tiger  never put a club head cover on his three wood, while  practicing on other fairways.

Rachel’s classy friends have stepped forward and said, that Tiger told Rachel he loved her–and if anyone knows the true meaning of  “love” Tiger be the one that surely Wood.

One last thought, if a gorgeous, swimsuit model can’t keep Tigers woody tanked..I doubt Rachel ‘Yucky’ Uchitel will succeed in the Herculean effort.

Recap: Cheaters cheat, the yucky, grubby women they cheat with are then hurt when the cheaters cheat on them.  Cheaters trust women who cheat with cheaters and expect women who go with married men to keep secrets, confidentiality and erase racy emails.

Tiger is probably imbibing right now because at the rate of the revelations–more yucky, grubby stuff is yet to be revealed.

Grubby and the Tiger

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Tiger Update:  “Tiger you are a real animal!

Tiger Woods is a cad.  He is a lying, cheating, fraud who promoted himself to be something he was not.  The Colgate smile, the preppy dress and the golf cap, even being on the #10 highest rated Wheaties cereal box can no longer disguise the base nature of a man who broke a sacred covenant with his wife and his children.  All the money in the world cannot redeem his desecrated reputation.

Tiger discredited those he endorses and let down a nation who admires his accomplishments.  As a role model for excellence and focus, Tiger Woods has taught children another disillusioning lesson that the wholesome guy in the poster on the wall isn’t all he’s cracked up to be.

According to Adultery: Statistics on Cheating Spouses…60-70 percent of adultery victims are women while 30-40 percent of adultery victims are men.” And women are to blame…that’s right women have the power to put an end to adultery by refusing to entertain a relationship with married philanderers, because “boys will be boys.” Yet, truth is It takes two to tango, or, in this case mambo.  The Clinton’s and the Tiger Woods of the world wouldn’t be able to cheat if women refused to canoodle with another women’s husband?

Christina Hoff Sommers of the American Enterprise Institute claims, “There is voluminous literature documenting womens greater capacity for care and empathy.” Most adultery discussion revolves around the fact men cheat on wives.  Nevertheless, the situation doesn’t  bode  well for women exhibiting “care and empathy” for other women. If females were really softhearted beings who identify closely with the feelings of others, the Jaime Grubbs of the world would tell men like Tiger to take his number one wood and tee off to another green.

For three years, Ms. Grubbs (or Grubby whichever you prefer) was so busy sexting Tiger she had no time to take into consideration Elin Nordegren, who had just given birth to two of Woods’ babies?  Now splashing her sexuality all over the tabloids Grubby is making public that the guy on the Wheaties box requested her to “Send him something very naughty…Go to the bathroom and take [a picture],” which is something that drove Elin to attack Tiger with a nine-iron.

Tiger is lucky his lovely Swedish wife chased him with a golf club and didn’t put a Swedish pike hook in his lying, cheating ass.

When riding around in Tigers big, black Escalade did Grubby happen to notice toddler Sam Alexis or infant Charlie Axel’s car seats in the back?  How about a stray pacifier or a rattle?  None of that mattered to the sex oozing 24 year old?  Grubbs is proudly part of the female sex that Charles Darwin believed differs, “…from man…chiefly in her greater tenderness and less selfishness.”  Charlie D. had some strange theories, but this one is equally bogus because, if only 30% of the married population hasn’t experienced adultery, then a whole lot of women are messing around with someone else’s husband, which is neither kindhearted, nor generous.

How about Kalika Moquin another giving, compassionate woman who cares for others by bedding husbands and fathers in surreptitious locations? Doing what women do best, Kalika showered feminine kindness on Tiger Woods because he claimed “He wasn’t happy in his marriage or his home life and there was so much pressure on him.

Kalika, the pressure releaser, “…strongly identifies with others and has a lively sense of their needs and feelings.” Being part of the “generous sex” Moquin, a Vegas club manager, is “…in a better psychological position to help…caring more does seem to entail giving more,” which, based on the reports in the press, Kalika gave and gave and gave, “hooking up a bunch of times” with a wedded Tiger.

The only woman showing empathy and compassion for the situation seems to be Hamptons Diva,” Rachel Uchitel. The kindly Rachel, had a press conference scheduled to admit to a relationship with Woods and suddenly cancelled.  Were her actions out of love and fidelity, or based on Tiger paying her large sums of money to shut her celebrity seducing yapper?

Researchers Eckel and Grossman say that, “Men are far more trusting and cooperative” and “…are known to be greater risk takers than women.”  So a smitten Tiger Woods reached out to one of his mistresses asking her to do him another type of huge favor. “I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voice mail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye.”

What was Tiger thinking, that a woman who sleeps with another woman’s husband is somehow trustworthy?  Didn’t the Tiger know that Jamie now feels honesty is the best policy and has come clean on the cover of every tabloid magazine in the nation? A cheating Tiger Woods has found out that mistresses aren’t reliable, honest women. What a surprise!

Tiger didn’t exactly approach the bastion of morality  in The Bank three years ago.  Obviously, Jaime Grubbs must have known that Tiger’s wife gave birth to their daughter a few months after the, “clandestine on-and-off affair” began; yet that didn’t dampen her ardor or ambition in the relationship with Elin’s husband and Sam and Charlies Dad.  Now, Tiger expects Grubby to honor the request for secrecy?  Tiger put his hand in a bear trap–it snapped…oh well.

Let’s not forget that women are solely responsible for the slaughter of 60 million unborn children.  So why should the survival or destruction of someone’s marriage be an issue to the murderous brood?

Tiger Woods is a boorish scoundrel…that said, women are not the empathetic sex they purport themselves to be.  Many are self-seeking, ruthless seductresses with only themselves in mind. If women showed they cared by rebuffing married men–adultery wouldn’t exist and we wouldn’t be having this conversation. The tango takes two, the mambo is a couple’s dance…Tiger could have danced alone or gone home.

Sistas, Jaime Grubb, Jamie Jungers, Rachel Uchitel, and Kalika Moquin found out that Tiger not only cheated on Elin, but also was simultaneously cheating on each one of them.  How does it feel ladies?

After going public with the pledge of shame Jaime Grubbs, is now saying, “I hope [Tiger] can forgive me for doing this and I know he probably can’t…whatever happens with Elin, I hope Tiger and I can reconnect and remain good friends.”  How touching, Grubby wants to stay “friends.”  Group hug!

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