Tag Archives: Social Security Administration

Government Zombies See Dead People


Originally posted at American Thinker

The Zombie Apocalypse may be here, because it appears that dead people are showing up and trying to pass themselves off as living.

Take for instance the mother of deceased 15-year-old Jasmine. Recently, Laurie Villarreal, Jasmine Martinez’s bereaved mom, paid a visit to the Social Security Administration, which everyone knows is run by an infallible bureaucracy. After the IRS rejected Villarreal’s 2012 tax return and in an effort to illegally collect a $5,000 tax refund, the woman tried to pull a fast one by insisting that her dependent daughter Jasmine was still very much alive.

Government workers weren’t going to be fooled by that story, and despite being provided Jasmine’s “Fingerprints. Social Security, birth certificate, school records, everything,” the not-to-be-fooled geniuses at the SSA weren’t having any of it.

After all, if the government says you’re dead, like it or not, dead you are.

Desperate to collect her $5,000, Jasmine’s mom dragged her daughter’s carcass all over creation trying to pass her off as living. Speaking from beyond the grave, Jasmine claimed, “I had to get out of school. I had to bring my ID, I had to bring everything, and they still didn’t believe [me].”

Laurie jumped through all the hoops, but was still told additional paperwork was missing. After submitting a fresh batch of forms, Villarreal heard nothing back.

Thankfully, as it turns out, Jasmine really is alive!

A living, breathing teenage girl standing in front of bureaucrats and still being called dead doesn’t bode well for patients with a pulse trying to avoid being prematurely bundled up in a shroud and delivered to the hospital ice box after government-run ObamaCare fully kicks in. Why? Because it took a full year for Social Security to concede that there was a Jasmine who was dead in California, but she wasn’t the same Jasmine who’d been trying for 12 months to prove she was alive in Illinois.

The excuse from the Social Security Administration was that someone who matched Jasmine’s profile caused the never-ever-confused civil service workers to get mixed up.

Records show that every month, while they’re still alive and kicking, the Social Security Administration lists about 1,000 Americans as dead. What will happen when John (the second most popular first name) Smiths (the most common last name) start kicking the bucket all over the place? That remains to be seen.

One year later, Social Security reports that the Martinez mistake is corrected, and at least for now, as far as official records go, Jasmine has been relocated from the dead column back into the living column. Unfortunately, to date, the IRS still hasn’t sent Laurie that belated tax refund check she’s been waiting for.

Jasmine’s mom had this to say: “You’re dealing with more than just a little mistake. You’re dealing with peoples’ lives.” Uh, yeah! And pretty soon bureaucrats will be dealing with all our lives via government-involved health care.

Before long, when 300 million life-and-death decisions are being made by Magnanimous Central, things could get a little hectic in the alive-or-dead department, which will cause complications for people who have not yet assumed room temperature. But then again, the IRS will be running the entire show, and according to President Obama, that branch of the government is very efficient.

Nonetheless, Laurie Villarreal, mother of the formerly dead Jasmine, said “It’s been very stressful both emotionally [and] financially.” Is she saying that having your child mistakenly declared dead by people who then made the mistake of refusing to believe she’s alive is stressful?

Another woman, 78-year-old Jo Anne Metternich, who, sorry to say, is much closer to being dead than Jasmine, had a similar experience when she recently tried to open a joint bank account with her daughter. That’s when Jo Anne was informed that she too was dead.

According to Metternich, the bank employee “ran a credit report, and she looked at me and she said, ‘This says you’re deceased,’ and I just sat there in shock.”

Evidently the woman never saw the “I see dead people” movie The Sixth Sense, wherein after hanging around for months, Bruce Willis finally realizes he’s one of the dead people.

Metternich complained, “What angers me so much is that these things happen and then it’s up to me to get it corrected.”

An Inspector General’s report says dead-when-living mistakes are a result of “inaccurate death reports or inaccurate data input” which, again, with the dawning of ObamaCare, brings little solace to those about to become casualties of the healthcare system.

In the future, what if a person is bleeding from a major artery, seeks help, and then pops up on the government database as “Deceased?” Do they have to wait until the régime irons out those “glitches” too before anyone can apply pressure to the wound?

In other words, if this happens in the healthcare arena, before government workers can get the bleeding to stop on a patient listed as dead, will the injured-but-not-dead party have to find a way to prove that the source of the blood geyser is actually a beating heart?

In young Jasmine’s case, it took a year to prove she was alive. After the fact, a Social Security spokeswoman commiserated with the Martinez/Villarreal family’s dilemma, saying, “Unfortunately, these things happen… but some cases are more complicated than others.”

With the dawn of ObamaCare upon us, it’s guaranteed that many more living people are sure to be entered into the database as deceased. That’s why things are about to become very difficult for millions ofAmericans who’ll have to deal with government zombies insisting that the person standing right in front of them is dead.

Cash to Cadavers

Originally posted at
BIG Government

With 300 million Americans about to be unwillingly herded into a healthcare system run largely by an inept federal government, is it an unreasonable request to demand, before they start playing doctor, that the feds figure out how to tell the difference between who’s dead and who’s alive?

Three years into Barack Obama’s historic presidency and a few months after the suppository called Obamacare took up residence in the nation’s orifice, we come to find out that over the better part of the last five years, half a billion dollars have been doled out to dead people.

Seems that dead people in the US are “in a better place” to receive a hefty check from the US Treasury. That’s right, if you’re short on cash, the easiest way to earn a few bucks is to die.

Apparently, $600 million in benefit payments meant for retired or disabled federal workers have been “doled out” to room temperature individuals who won’t be stimulating the economy with federally-endowed monies anytime soon.

It’s hard to believe, but “In one case, the son of a beneficiary continued receiving payments for 37 years after his father’s death in 1971. The payments — totaling more than $515,000 — were only discovered when the son died in 2008.”

Shouldn’t a prerequisite to reassuring Americans that the government is more than capable of overseeing national health care be to establish a system that accurately differentiates between the living and the dead?

It is important to mention that the decades-long cash-to-cadavers problem cannot be laid solely on the headstone of the Obama administration. However, George W. Bush did not want to play doctor with the American health care system, so it stands to reason that Barack Obama MD should be held to a higher standard of accuracy when it comes to Americans who are flat-lining versus those whose oxygen level consistently hovers around 99.

The scary part of the whole scenario is that “the government has been aware of the problem since 2005,” when the “inspector general’s report revealed defects in the Civil Service Retirement and Disability Fund.” In fact, 2.5 million federal workers receive more than $60 billion in benefit payments annually from the Civil Service Retirement and Disability Fund.

The same federal government touting the benefits of electronic health records for all Americans claims to have “tried matching the fund’s computer records with the Social Security Administration’s death records, checking tax records and improving the timeliness of death reporting.” Yet the improper payments have continued, despite more than a half dozen attempts to develop a system “to determine which beneficiaries are still alive and which are dead.”

With that kind of track record, for lack of a more efficient system Obamacare could spend six years administering barium enemas in a morgue, or end up giving melanoma patients Robitussin in place of Roferon-A ®.

Always on the cutting edge of technology, in 2009 President Obama announced a medical health record system for veterans, wherein “an electronic record would follow a service member in the military and then later in the Veterans Affairs Department’s medical system.” Obama claimed that “the electronic record keeping system will handle military service members’ administrative and medical records from the day they enter service and insure that those files are transferred automatically to the Department of Veterans Affairs when they leave active duty.”

Sounds wonderful, but out of curiosity it would be interesting to find out how many of the dead people who received part of the $600 million between 2009 and 2011 were federal workers who served in the armed forces.

Supposedly, to address the problem, the United States Office of Personnel Management “sampled its records of all recipients over 90 years old to confirm whether they are still alive. In 2009, there were more than 125,000 recipients identified as over 90 and about 3,400 over 100 years old” – individuals who, despite not having the assistance of Obamacare, managed to attain the title nonagenarian and centenarian.

Even still, in the midst of reassuring America that the government is presently well equipped to monitor life-and-death health care decisions, “both the Obama administration and Congress” are also in the process of making it a “higher priority [than it was] to crack down on improper government payments.”

Which begs the question:  If the government doesn’t yet have a system to address the problem of giving money to corpses, how is their system prepared to supervise national healthcare for 300 million living, breathing organisms? If dead people are still getting government money, it stands to reason that in the future, a few live people could wake up while being embalmed.

Shouldn’t those who feel qualified to monitor the cardiac health of America at least know how to use a stethoscope and take a pulse before manning the ambulance?

In addition to the $600 million, in the midst of establishing a nationalized healthcare system and reinforcing a failing economy, “Last year, government investigators [also] found that more than 89,000 stimulus payments of $250 each from the massive economic recovery package went to people who were either dead or in prison.”

Not to worry though, because bureaucrats believe it’s “time to stop, once and for all, this waste of taxpayer money,” which is why it is entirely possible that the $22 million misappropriation of stimulus funds could have been another well thought-out diagnostic pilot program.

In the run-up to healthcare reform, what better way to iron out some of the cash-to-cadaver kinks than for the President of the United States to purposely employ the dearly departed to help address the problem of the federal government sending $600 million to correctional centers and cemeteries?

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