Tag Archives: SNL

MR. PRESIDENT, HOW ABOUT GIVING SOME BACK? America’s #GimmeFive Questions for Obama

Originally posted at CLASH Dailybo-2-300x180

America has endured over five years of pure mayhem that has resulted in a national health crisis that has systematically caused politically-induced high blood pressure and heart failure.

Despite suffering from a cancerous condition that is currently eating away at the very fabric of our great nation, we have a first lady who ignores the obvious illnesses her husband has both literally and figuratively inflicted on otherwise strong Americans. Instead, Michelle Obama chooses to focus on superficial hashtag campaigns that are supposed to encourage a level of health in a nation being slowly poisoned by her liberal husband’s progressive policies.

Not to be disrespectful, but Michelle’s #GimmeFive hashtag effort has about as much influence on the Obama-inflicted poor health of America as a Band-Aid would have on Dana Carvey’s SNL character Massive Head Wound Harry.

Think of it! Here you have a president standing beside his wife in a PSA where she asks tapped-out Americans to #GimmeFive. This from a man who refuses to acknowledge the religious affiliation of Islamic terrorists who remove, at a minimum, five heads a day!

If Barack Obama were looking for five of something, surely ISIS would love to participate in the first lady’s campaign. But the five contributions ISIS would ‘gimme’ to Obama would have nothing to do with planting gardens, dance class, or fruits and vegetables. Instead, on behalf of #GimmeFive, ISIS would deliver five heads an hour to an ever-growing pile of bodiless corpses.

For the rest of us poor schmucks who for the time being still have our heads, #GimmeFive has the potential to take on a whole different meaning.

In fact, if Americans were on the receiving end instead of the #GimmeFive end of the campaign, Barack Obama giving us five of something we need to benefit our health would probably do more for corporate vigor than Michelle Obama demanding that we all Drink Up! five bottled waters a day.

After all, for five-plus years, Barack Obama has been saying #gimme #gimme #gimme to us, and what he hasn’t been able to Constitutionally #gimme, he’s seized anyway.

That’s why, perhaps it’s time America demands Obama extend some of the #GimmeFive he’s selling in our direction.

For starters, how about we demand Obama #GimmeFive fewer tax dollars taken for every $50 in all of our paychecks, or maybe it’s time we ask why #GimmeFive Obama tweeted that 11.4 million people were enrolled in Obamacare when the millions, give-or-take, were more like five.

Then, after the #GimmeFive advocate gets done explaining some of that stuff to us, maybe he can help us improve our national health and mental wellbeing by giving us five good reasons why, despite negotiating with Iran, two Americans – one a pastor and the other a US Marine – whose total years incarcerated add up to more than five, are still rotting in an Iranian jail.

How about Obama explaining to America why, after five years of empty promises, our border remains open, and millions upon millions of dangerous illegals, sick unaccompanied illegal minors, and terrorist types of every stripe continue to sneak in and threaten the safety and wellbeing of our citizens?

And about the unemployment rate, why say that it’s down to 5.6% knowing full well that it’s more like double that?

Can Obama #GimmeFive valid reasons for any of that?

How about five justifications as to why, for the last five years, he’s turned his back on Israel, or here at home increased the national debt by 53%? How about answering the question as to why his #gimme wife goes on approximately five $5 million #gimme taxpayer-funded vacations a year, or why five dangerous Taliban fighters were swapped for one pusillanimous Army deserter?

What about the five specific times your #GimmeFive administration attempted and failed to circumvent the law?

As for the #GimmeFive proposal, here’s another question that needs to be answered: why do Obama and Michelle lunch at Five Guys while government-funded school lunches consist of five grapes, five pieces of dried-out melba toast and five ounces of warm skim milk?

So if Michelle Obama and her husband Barack want to focus on health, maybe they can begin the process by offering a few #GimmeFive answers to some of America’s most gut-wrenching, health-eroding questions.

 

Zoinks! Lena Dunham’s Liberal Lunacy

lena-dunham-picOriginally posted at The Clash Daily

Most people don’t care what Golden-Globe-winning 27-year-old Lena Dunham, the creator of HBO’s hit show Girls, says or does. However, in an attempt to understand a liberal’s approach to life, any opportunity a conservative gets to study how those on the left think is an opportunity to grow in both knowledge and discernment.

One woman who never disappoints when it comes to providing insight into how irrational, disingenuous, and baffling liberal thinking and behavior are is the deliberately ordinary Barack Obama sycophant, Lena Dunham.

Actor/television and film director/ screenwriter/television producer Lena acts up every chance she gets and does it by pretending eccentric behavior is the norm. Lena is so good at acting up, she’s earned $10 million doing it.

In a recent interview, Ms. Dunham told Glamour magazine, “I don’t know if I’m going to want to act anymore. I’m always relieved on the days I don’t have to,” which explains why Lena stars in her own HBO show.

Ms. Dunham, who prides herself on being unglamorous, told Glamour magazine, “I’d rather give parts to other women than be the woman having the parts.”

Based on her “parts” usually being in a brazen state of undress, maybe what Lena really meant to say was that she’d rather be the woman “exposing her girly parts.” Or maybe not, because the title of the article is “Girls‘ Lena Dunham: Why she’s OVER talking about her body.”

To the liberal mindset, Lena saying she’s “OVER talking about her body” doesn’t mean she’s “OVER” exposing her body. Clearly a committed exhibitionist, Lena just doesn’t want anyone noticing she’s naked, and although she plans on continuing to be naked doesn’t want to talk about being naked anymore.

After announcing she was done with acting and talking about being in the buff, Lena hosted SNL, where she starred in an “Adam and Eve” sketch that overlaid a Girls attitude on the Genesis story in which Lena (playing an unclothed Eve, of course), didn’t squander the chance to call attention to, you guessed it – her naked physique, such as it is.

Despite what she says, liberal Lena bares her anatomy with predictable regularity. She maintains that her unembellished butt depicts real life, because as Lena explains, “it’s a realistic expression of what it’s like to be alive.”

In Lena’s case, maybe she identifies with nudity so much because her parents are Laurie Simmons, a photographer/artist, and Carroll Dunham, also an artist, both of whose artwork fixates on women, female mannequins, mammary glands, and gargantuan cartoonish genitals.

Artists Carroll and Laurie create art that features explicit renderings of women in provocative poses. Their progeny bypasses all that, strips down herself, strikes awkwardly provocative poses, and calls it art.

Lena’s parents must believe that over-sexualized art exhibits convey the message that nude women, mammary glands, and shockingly gargantuan cartoonish genitals should be seen as unremarkable, which may be why Lena is now trying to convince America that all her gratuitous nudity is really very boring.

As is always the case with liberals, especially Hollywood liberals, things can get confusing.

For instance, Ms. Lena is a woman who has built a career typecasting herself as a girl who refuses to be typecast by daring people not to notice that she’s strutting around in her birthday suit.

Furthermore, because the career of Adam Driver, the male star of Girls, has exploded, Ms. Dunham is upset because she believes the female stars of Girls are being pigeonholed – as girls. If Lena didn’t want to be typecast as a “girl”, maybe she should have called her show something else.

Here’s an idea! Instead of threatening to quit acting, Ms. Dunham should put her funky shrunken girl clothes back on, take those ridiculous plastic baby-girl barrettes out of her hair, and maybe, just maybe, she’ll stop being typecast as a naked girl working hard to typecast herself as a frumpy girl who refuses to be typecast.

So, for today, Lena Dunham is the naked liberal poster child whose muddled view of the world lends valuable insight into how those currently in charge of America really think, or better yet, fail to think.

Most people don’t care what Golden-Globe-winning 27-year-old Lena Dunham, the creator of HBO’s hit show Girls, says or does. However, in an attempt to understand a liberal’s approach to life, any opportunity a conservative gets to study how those on the left think is an opportunity to grow in both knowledge and discernment.

One woman who never disappoints when it comes to providing insight into how irrational, disingenuous, and baffling liberal thinking and behavior are is the deliberately ordinary Barack Obama sycophant, Lena Dunham.

Actor/television and film director/ screenwriter/television producer Lena acts up every chance she gets and does it by pretending eccentric behavior is the norm. Lena is so good at acting up, she’s earned $10 million doing it.

In a recent interview, Ms. Dunham told Glamour magazine, “I don’t know if I’m going to want to act anymore. I’m always relieved on the days I don’t have to,” which explains why Lena stars in her own HBO show.

Ms. Dunham, who prides herself on being unglamorous, told Glamour magazine, “I’d rather give parts to other women than be the woman having the parts.”

Based on her “parts” usually being in a brazen state of undress, maybe what Lena really meant to say was that she’d rather be the woman “exposing her girly parts.” Or maybe not, because the title of the article is “Girls‘ Lena Dunham: Why she’s OVER talking about her body.”

To the liberal mindset, Lena saying she’s “OVER talking about her body” doesn’t mean she’s “OVER” exposing her body. Clearly a committed exhibitionist, Lena just doesn’t want anyone noticing she’s naked, and although she plans on continuing to be naked doesn’t want to talk about being naked anymore.

After announcing she was done with acting and talking about being in the buff, Lena hosted SNL, where she starred in an “Adam and Eve” sketch that overlaid a Girls attitude on the Genesis story in which Lena (playing an unclothed Eve, of course), didn’t squander the chance to call attention to, you guessed it – her naked physique, such as it is.

Despite what she says, liberal Lena bares her anatomy with predictable regularity. She maintains that her unembellished butt depicts real life, because as Lena explains, “it’s a realistic expression of what it’s like to be alive.”

In Lena’s case, maybe she identifies with nudity so much because her parents are Laurie Simmons, a photographer/artist, and Carroll Dunham, also an artist, both of whose artwork fixates on women, female mannequins, mammary glands, and gargantuan cartoonish genitals.

Artists Carroll and Laurie create art that features explicit renderings of women in provocative poses. Their progeny bypasses all that, strips down herself, strikes awkwardly provocative poses, and calls it art.

Lena’s parents must believe that over-sexualized art exhibits convey the message that nude women, mammary glands, and shockingly gargantuan cartoonish genitals should be seen as unremarkable, which may be why Lena is now trying to convince America that all her gratuitous nudity is really very boring.

As is always the case with liberals, especially Hollywood liberals, things can get confusing.

For instance, Ms. Lena is a woman who has built a career typecasting herself as a girl who refuses to be typecast by daring people not to notice that she’s strutting around in her birthday suit.

Furthermore, because the career of Adam Driver, the male star of Girls, has exploded, Ms. Dunham is upset because she believes the female stars of Girls are being pigeonholed – as girls. If Lena didn’t want to be typecast as a “girl”, maybe she should have called her show something else.

Here’s an idea! Instead of threatening to quit acting, Ms. Dunham should put her funky shrunken girl clothes back on, take those ridiculous plastic baby-girl barrettes out of her hair, and maybe, just maybe, she’ll stop being typecast as a naked girl working hard to typecast herself as a frumpy girl who refuses to be typecast.

So, for today, Lena Dunham is the naked liberal poster child whose muddled view of the world lends valuable insight into how those currently in charge of America really think, or better yet, fail to think.
Read more at http://clashdaily.com/2014/03/zoinks-lena-dunhams-liberal-lunacy/#M0LMEu6qaPB4FhqF.99

people don’t care what Golden-Globe-winning 27-year-old Lena Dunham, the creator of HBO’s hit show Girls, says or does. However, in an attempt to understand a liberal’s approach to life, any opportunity a conservative gets to study how those on the left think is an opportunity to grow in both knowledge and discernment.

One woman who never disappoints when it comes to providing insight into how irrational, disingenuous, and baffling liberal thinking and behavior are is the deliberately ordinary Barack Obama sycophant, Lena Dunham.

Actor/television and film director/ screenwriter/television producer Lena acts up every chance she gets and does it by pretending eccentric behavior is the norm. Lena is so good at acting up, she’s earned $10 million doing it.

In a recent interview, Ms. Dunham told Glamour magazine, “I don’t know if I’m going to want to act anymore. I’m always relieved on the days I don’t have to,” which explains why Lena stars in her own HBO show.

Ms. Dunham, who prides herself on being unglamorous, told Glamour magazine, “I’d rather give parts to other women than be the woman having the parts.”

Based on her “parts” usually being in a brazen state of undress, maybe what Lena really meant to say was that she’d rather be the woman “exposing her girly parts.” Or maybe not, because the title of the article is “Girls‘ Lena Dunham: Why she’s OVER talking about her body.”

To the liberal mindset, Lena saying she’s “OVER talking about her body” doesn’t mean she’s “OVER” exposing her body. Clearly a committed exhibitionist, Lena just doesn’t want anyone noticing she’s naked, and although she plans on continuing to be naked doesn’t want to talk about being naked anymore.

After announcing she was done with acting and talking about being in the buff, Lena hosted SNL, where she starred in an “Adam and Eve” sketch that overlaid a Girls attitude on the Genesis story in which Lena (playing an unclothed Eve, of course), didn’t squander the chance to call attention to, you guessed it – her naked physique, such as it is.

Despite what she says, liberal Lena bares her anatomy with predictable regularity. She maintains that her unembellished butt depicts real life, because as Lena explains, “it’s a realistic expression of what it’s like to be alive.”

In Lena’s case, maybe she identifies with nudity so much because her parents are Laurie Simmons, a photographer/artist, and Carroll Dunham, also an artist, both of whose artwork fixates on women, female mannequins, mammary glands, and gargantuan cartoonish genitals.

Artists Carroll and Laurie create art that features explicit renderings of women in provocative poses. Their progeny bypasses all that, strips down herself, strikes awkwardly provocative poses, and calls it art.

Lena’s parents must believe that over-sexualized art exhibits convey the message that nude women, mammary glands, and shockingly gargantuan cartoonish genitals should be seen as unremarkable, which may be why Lena is now trying to convince America that all her gratuitous nudity is really very boring.

As is always the case with liberals, especially Hollywood liberals, things can get confusing.

For instance, Ms. Lena is a woman who has built a career typecasting herself as a girl who refuses to be typecast by daring people not to notice that she’s strutting around in her birthday suit.

Furthermore, because the career of Adam Driver, the male star of Girls, has exploded, Ms. Dunham is upset because she believes the female stars of Girls are being pigeonholed – as girls. If Lena didn’t want to be typecast as a “girl”, maybe she should have called her show something else.

Here’s an idea! Instead of threatening to quit acting, Ms. Dunham should put her funky shrunken girl clothes back on, take those ridiculous plastic baby-girl barrettes out of her hair, and maybe, just maybe, she’ll stop being typecast as a naked girl working hard to typecast herself as a frumpy girl who refuses to be typecast.

So, for today, Lena Dunham is the naked liberal poster child whose muddled view of the world lends valuable insight into how those currently in charge of America really think, or better yet, fail to think.
Read more at http://clashdaily.com/2014/03/zoinks-lena-dunhams-liberal-lunacy/#M0LMEu6qaPB4FhqF.99

Bristol the Pistol

Originally posted at American Thinker blog

In “defiance” of “skepticism” on the part of Dancing with the Stars judges Carrie Ann Inaba, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli, Sarah Palin’s daughter/single mother Bristol Palin is one of three dancers vying for the ultimate DWTS prize. Like Mom, Bristol ‘the pistol‘ sure has chutzpah. Unintimidated by pop stars, child stars, or Frances ‘Baby‘ Houseman, when asked to be part of the mirror globe trophy competition Bristol left fishing poles behind, packed the Pampers into her 1997 F-150, and drove non-stop from Alaska to L.A.

Casting no aspersions on Bristol’s competitors, Pistol Palin is the only contestant with zero experience wooing the cameras, exuding emotion on demand, or wriggling with Patrick Swayze.

Lacking emotive acting skill and dancer Cheryl Burke’s hair-tossing ability, Bristol’s start was shaky, but “gosh darn it,” the girl stuck with it. For Miss Palin’s Dancing with the Stars opening boogie, the abstinence activist shimmied onto the parquet in an unabashed parody mocking liberal critics like PBS honoree and SNL buffoon Tina Fey.

Bristol’s partner Mark Ballas summed it up perfectly:

The thing about this show is, you get people who come from an entertainment background… Bristol’s not any of those things… She’s the most normal person; sweet, down to earth … like a friend you’d hang out with… So for me as a coach… this is one of my proudest moments, taking a non-dancer and turning her into what she is now.

After consistently low leader board scores, Palin somehow received more votes in the semi-finals, triumphing over high-scorer Brandy Norwood. The Bristol/Ballas dance company was catapulted into the finals along with danseuse/dirty dancer Jennifer Grey and the gregariously sexy Disney star and pelvic thruster Kyle Massey.

After the shocking elimination, a sniveling Brandy whined: “I don’t know how to feel right now, it hasn’t processed yet for me.” Clearly, Brandy was convinced she was one dancing shoe away from glory, and in defeat lacked the civility she exhibited when executing a 57-point Paso Doble and Argentine tango.

Bristol’s mother, Sarah Palin, once said something about “contested primaries” that aptly pertain to voter-driven dance competitions: “Despite what the pundits want us to think… they are democracy at work, and that’s beautiful.”

Conceding the loss, Brandy’s partner Maksim Chermerkovskiy responded to boos from the singer’s fans, saying “People vote and their voices count, and I love the fact that the show represents that.”  Born in the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic (UkSSR) gives Maksim a true appreciation for the democratic process.

Jeers aren’t the worst of it. “Upset that the political figure’s daughter was on the show when he didn’t think she was a good dancer,” a drunken, expletive-spewing, shotgun-wielding yahoo used his TV as a target and then kept police at bay for 15 hours.

Across the board, liberals are apoplectic and attribute Bristol’s success not to quickstep agility, but to “republicanism” driven by Mama Grizzly’s fan base. Lisa Gutierrez of the web-based Kansas City Star lamented, “Bristol will now go on to win the whole shebang.  She doesn’t deserve it.  Everyone knows it, even, I suspect, the people who keep voting for her.”

How ironic, liberals blaming excessive voting for an “undeserving” contestant being in contention to win the “whole shebang.” If the coveted, oversized mirror ball trophy finds a home with Bristol ‘the pistol’ way up in Wasilla, Alaska, liberals are the reason. Wasn’t it two just years ago that “democracy at work” taught Dancing with the Stars viewers to vote for an unqualified, “ubiquitous” candidate who ended up walking away with the ultimate prize?

***

What part of “Bristol the Pistol” being about liberal hypocrisy and not DWTS don’t people get? If we can’t apply the idiocy of liberalism to everyday examples, that people can easily understand, and point out how liberals have one standard for themselves and another for everyone else…we’ll never win the argument!


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