Tag Archives: Sandra Fluke

Figuring out the Fluke Fracas

Almost a week after Sandra Fluke supposedly spoke on behalf of sexually active Catholic schoolgirls everywhere, there has been a lot of discussion over the content of the third-year Georgetown Law School student’s comments.  Also in question is the motive behind her appearance as well as whether the right’s reaction was warranted.

Some conservatives are convinced Sandra Fluke is some kind of smokescreen or straw man, which is a valid argument.  Let’s face it, liberals are savvy enough to realize that if things get politically tense for the President, they can always cobble together a panel and throw out some social issue or other for the right side of the aisle to pounce on.  The result? A diversion where conservatives focus more on titillating testimony than Barack Obama’s failed presidency.

To make the rumpus even more diversionary, it is possible the liberals also planned beforehand to have the President jump into the fray (a la the Tucson civil discourse discussion).  Holding the line for the right moment, the left knew that eventually the pre-marital sex, contraception, and abortion bait would get a bite from a prominent conservative.  This time they got lucky and caught a huge fish.

The left also knew that as the economy circles the drain, Israel teeters on the precipice of war, Iran plans to deliver a nuclear bomb, gasoline heads toward $5 a gallon, and the unemployment numbers remain high, is also the perfect time for Barack Obama to rush in and rescue a damsel in distress

From a liberal viewpoint, what with Rush Limbaugh and all, the effort appears to have been quite successful. While to others, on the surface the Fluke Fracas may only seem like a Pelosi-orchestrated, disingenuous left-wing stunt used to convince America that in the name of women’s health a struggling student has a right to a worry-free sex life. But that’s not it at all.

The truth is that Sandra Fluke is a micro example of a macro liberal problem.  The left is replete with angry, selfish, amoral parasites who want to place the nation in the hands of an elite upper class by pushing social welfare programs that extend, as the old idiom goes, “from the cradle to the grave.”

Know this: all liberals, from Fluke to Obama, want to dictate who and how many end up in that cradle and ultimately when they end up occupying those graves.

There’s a treasure trove to glean from the Fluke debate, because the reality is that Sandra Fluke is just Barack Obama in a woman’s conservative business suit and earrings. Listening to what Sandra had to say is identical to the type of sob story Barack Obama would read off the Teleprompter at a NARAL meeting. Same message, same demands, and same socialist goals, with one difference: one has XY chromosomes, the other two XXs.

Regardless of what appears to be happening on the surface, Sandra and Barry are playing the same game, sit on the same side of the table, and are partners on the same team.  Different outfits, identical message.

When it comes to literal interpretations, liberals are usually extremely lax.  To suit themselves, the left are adherents of the “living, breathing” school of Constitutional studies and the “true for you, but not for me” Bible study group. Void of any gray area, suddenly liberals are interpreting Sandra Fluke’s transparent testimony literally.

The complaint from the left is that conservatives unfairly criticized Sandra Fluke and that despite the uproar she never ‘officially’ referred to her personal sex life.

Sandra did talk about the cost of birth control being $3,000 for three years of law school and regurgitated a litany of horror stories she’s heard, all apparently resulting from women being denied subsidized birth control at a Catholic university.  At the end of her testimony Sandra finished by reading off a series of “we” statements, which officially identified her with those she advocated for.

In most instances a person speaking on a particular subject before a congressional subcommittee appears to embody the message.  You wouldn’t have a man lecture congress on the pain of childbirth, or have an agoraphobic share their experiences with public transportation.

If Sandra wasn’t talking about herself by identifying with the hardships of the women seeking birth control, it’s a shame. Democrats could have gained more traction by recruiting a celibate pro-choice nun to speak in favor of government-funded birth control.

Even if Ms. Fluke didn’t literally say: “In three years of law school, I spent $3,000 for birth control,” the argument that Sandra Fluke is a merely a virtuous woman concerned about the plight of oppressed women doesn’t fly.

In conclusion, Sandra Fluke is the recipient of a “public interest” scholarship and attends law school for free.  Yet, to finance her choice to participate in sexual activity she apparently was hard-pressed to come up with $3,000 in three years, which comes to approximately $19 a week.

Here’s the problem: with a little research it’s easy to find out that Georgetown University has a Starbucks located on campus at the Leavey Center.

The coffee enterprise is likely doing a booming business, especially with students who spend most days and nights mainlining caffeine.  At Starbucks one tall (small) cup of java a day runs about $2.01. But most college students indulge in more than one cup a day and many others prefer lattes, frappes, and macchiatos at sometimes triple the price.

It’s probable that those struggling female students at Georgetown Law spend at least the $19 needed to cover the cost of birth control in a week at Starbucks.  Which means either Sandra Fluke needs to argue on behalf of taxpayer-funded Skinny Mochas for sleepy students, or at least have the intellectual honesty to admit she and her female schoolmates should spend their own money on birth control.

So, as usual, despite indignant arguments in their own defense, transparent liberals are not as clever as they think.  Neither are they consistent or honest. Moreover, even with a $40K-a-year law degree, even the smartest among them seem incapable of figuring out that by students simply avoiding trendy coffee shops they could easily finance extracurricular activities and save the government money at the same time.

Sandra Fluke’s New Telephone Buddy

The truth is finally out – when not apologizing to radical Muslims, Barack Obama spends some of his down time making telephone calls to sexually promiscuous females.

Sandra Fluke, a third-year law student at Jesuit Georgetown University and past president of Georgetown Law Students for Reproductive Justice, due to time constraints was initially denied the opportunity to address Congress regarding her concerns about religious institutions denying women free contraceptives.

Ms. Fluke’s voice was finally heard.  Appearing before a Democratic Steering and Policy Committee event, Fluke expounded on the benefits of forcing Catholic institutions, under duress, to provide coverage to sexually active students who would rather not shell out a summer’s salary to accommodate their reproductive rights.

Sexually active spokesperson Sandra F. is apparently so committed to having her extracurricular activities subsidized by the American taxpayer that she admitted to spending $3,000 on birth control in three years.   After such a bold admission, how could Barack Obama not make it his personal mission to compel this patriotic nation to assist him in his efforts to provide Ms. Fluke with the proper accoutrements for worry-free coitus all year long?

Fluke’s testimony was so revealing that it even inspired conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh to assign Sandra a colorful description with a word so shocking it prompted the President of the United States to drop his golf club and phone up the target of Limbaugh’s attack.

It should warm the cockles of America’s heart to know our President is so concerned about America’s sex life that he took time out of his busy schedule to reach out, touch, “encourage…support and thank” the extraordinary Ms. Fluke for enduring the attack of a puritanical conservative for merely “speaking out about the concerns of American women.”

Time and again, Barack Obama has proven he’s concerned about providing for the educational needs of America’s students.  It could be that in addition to re-habbing Sandra’s Rush-tainted reputation, the President may have called to reassure the outspoken reproductive activist that his administration is doubling down on its efforts to make sure Catholic institutions across America make free contraceptives available so that hardworking students can still afford a Starbucks Grande Caramel Macchiato to keep alert during late-night cram sessions.

After the call, Fluke said that Obama “did express his concern for me and wanted to make sure that I was ok. I am. I’m ok.”

Come on people, you gotta hand it to her – any girl who can participate in $3,000 worth of recreational sex in three years and still graduate law school has earned a personal phone call from the leader of the free world inquiring as to whether or not she’s “okay.”

Liberals from MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell to Barack Obama have lauded the law student’s articulate ability to advocate for government-funded contraception while blowing off the First Amendment with forthright insistence that Catholic doctrine, teaching, and conscience be publicly crushed under the bureaucratic boot heel of Birth-Control Barack, Provider of Prophylactics.

Discussing the historic call from President Obama, Sandra said that “what was really personal…was that [Obama] said to tell my parents that they should be proud. And that meant a lot because Rush Limbaugh questioned whether or not my family would be proud of me. So I just appreciated that very much.”

During their telephone tête-à-tête, Obama attempted to alleviate the wounded feelings of both Sandra and Sandra’s mom and dad, who Rush Limbaugh dared to suggest should be humiliated by their daughter’s public discussion of her busy sex life, and for taking up the fight that the Catholic church should assist in making sure she’s not “punished with a baby” if she should happen to make a “mistake.

Instead of mentioning Sandra’s apparent appetite for habitual fornication, Obama reassured Ms. Fluke that despite Rush Limbaugh’s rude and crude insinuations, any parent would be proud of a daughter having the boldness to confront stodgy papists by boasting before a Congressional panel about the high cost of unbridled debauchery.

In a press briefing following the phone call, immediately after clarifying that Fluke is properly pronounced “Fluck,” White House press secretary Jay Carney said the President “[e]xpressed his disappointment that she has been the subject of inappropriate personal attacks and thanked her for exercising her rights as a citizen to speak out on an issue of public policy… with a great deal of poise.” What Carney conveniently left out is that the public policy in question denies the right of others to exercise freedom of religion.

When testifying, Sandra did Barry proud by rattling off a litany of typical liberal sob stories. Laid at the feet of religious institutions refusing to provide birth control was responsibility for a married student who had to “stop using contraception because she couldn’t afford it any longer” and the distressing plight of “women employed in low wage jobs without contraceptive coverage,” women who can’t afford 75 cents for a condom or $1.50 per day for birth control pills.  What’s a girl to do?

Piling on the guilt, Sandra’s testimony also included references to endometriosis and unreported rape, along with an anecdote about a lesbian friend with polycystic ovarian syndrome whose treatment required birth control pills; without which her friend developed a massive cyst the size of a “tennis ball,” leading to a partial hysterectomy with resulting menopausal symptoms and infertility – implying that all those conditions resulted, in one way or another, thanks to Jesuit priests who refuse to distribute free birth control.

One thing was clear, Fluke the feisty feminist’s testimony didn’t disappoint.  Continuing one, she declared, “As one student put it, ‘this policy communicates to female students that our school doesn’t understand our needs.’ These are not feelings that male fellow students experience. And they’re not burdens that male students must shoulder.”

That’s for damned sure – the male students at Georgetown apparently aren’t burdened in the least, and thanks to the efforts of one Sandra Fluke, are probably all quite relaxed.

If Georgetown University should insist upon applying the Jesuit cura personalis creed Sandra Fluke cited, then with the exception of complimentary birth control and abortion, it appears that her telephone buddy Barack is ready to regulate the Church into submission, and through government mandates assure that her recreational sex needs be given priority over the infallible teachings of the church.

In the end, Rush apologized.  However, Rush Limbaugh’s initial remarks about Sandra Fluke along with the President’s personal phone call may have accidentally furthered world peace.  After all was said and done and thanks to the testimony of Sandra Fluke, at least now Israeli Prime Minister Bebe Netanyahu knows exactly what it takes to get Barack Obama to talk to him again on the phone.

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