Tag Archives: mid term elections

The Last Word

Originally posted at American Thinker blog

President Obama yields to no one, bows his knee to nothing and when criticized, typically rebounds by sending detractors an undeniable communiqué. In fact, Obama oftentimes reacts to public disapproval by wresting control back from what cannot be controlled through defiant words or actions.

According to Democrat pollster Doug Schoen, the upcoming midterm election is an obvious referendum on President Obama’s abysmal job performance. The poll Schoen cites indicates “56 percent say [Obama] does not deserve to be re-elected.” If accurate, Barack is about to receive a major pummeling at the ballot box, but plans to reestablish his supremacy by indulging in a pricey trip to India.

Instead of humbly acquiescing to voter abhorrence of liberal policies, elitist lifestyle exhibitions, and retaliatory politics, Obama scheduled an extravagant post-election Asian trip, which can only be interpreted as a defiant middle finger intended for the mutineers, compliments of the Commander in Chief.

While Republicans bask in the glow of post-election victory, the President plans to haughtily dismiss the rebuke. One day after the start of Diwali, India’s five-day celebratory festival of lights, Obama’s American contingency will arrive in India amidst fireworks.  The entourage will shut down the city and “restrict traffic movement …[on] arterial roads in south Mumbai” and, without speaking a word, Barack will simultaneously dispatch an insolent message to America.

Although criticized in the past for frivolous, insensitive exhibitions of indulgence, Obama feels no shame in taking the Presidential posse on an extravagant Indian adventure to poverty-stricken Mumbai. While Americans suffer the effects of double-digit unemployment, Obama’s visit is being touted as a business venture hoping to “spur trade between the United States and this potentially lucrative market of 1.2 billion people.”

“In terms of protocol and logistics,” Obama’s opulent stopover is purported to be the largest ever taken by a U.S. President. Diplomacy will be exercised in true Michelle Obama Costa Del Sol fashion as travel accommodations include booking “800 rooms” in Mumbai’s most lavish hotels. According to New Delhi media, Obama’s visit will cost approximately 15 lakhs an hour, which converts into $33,677.55 in USD,and will end up costing $1,616,522.40 for two days.

Regardless, with 60% disapproving of the President’s performance on the economy and one election cycle shy of being sent back to Chicago, the Obama India trip “tonnage” includes:  “40 aircraft…Air Force One…six armored cars, the Barack Mobile Cadillac…two Marine One choppers and 30 sniffer dogs.” In addition to employing a personal chef to “ensure [Obama’s] food is not spiked,” outside the Taj Mahal Hotel U.S. Navy ships and Indian vessels will patrol the waters on 24-hour missile surveillance.

Along with naval deployment, multitudinous aircraft, and a convoy of 45 motor vehicles, the President’s protective visual aid will be carefully packed into the cargo bin. At the Indian Parliament the pompous one is scheduled to deliver a typical Obama script recitation, which will likely include inflammatory innuendos aimed like arrows straight at the heart of a rebellious American electorate.

As an aside, even India noticed the peculiarity of Barry’s inordinate teleprompter dependence. In anticipation of the American President’s visit, the Indian media remarked: “Obama’s reliance on the teleprompter is unusual – not only because he is famous for his oratory, but because no other president has used one so consistently and at so many events, large and small.” Acting the part of a potent world leader while clinging to an electronic cue card for reassurance does pose somewhat of a dichotomy.

Even so, as Harry Reid packs to move back to Searchlight and Nancy’s hands are pried from an oversized gavel, while vacationing in India Barack and family will juggle being feted like monarchs at “the National Centre for Performing Arts (NCRA)” with commemorating the brutal Mumbai attacks at the Police Gymkhana 26/11 Memorial.

President Obama will also tour Mani Bhawan, the nexus of Mahatma Ghandi’s political activities, while back at home Marco Rubio adjusts to the idea of representing Florida. As an added benefit, much like Clinton’s infamous Normandy crosses-in-the-sand photo op, having an opportunity to reverently place a wreath on Mahatma’s grave at Mani Bhawan could divert the world’s attention from the political shiner Obama is sure to be sporting.

Then again, the trip to Hindustan will not be all parliamentary addresses, memorials, or afternoons taking in the Symphony Orchestra of India.  In fact, possibly shod in the high-priced sneakers similar to those she wore to a DC food pantry, the First Lady plans to venture into Kamathipura’s red light district at the special request of an NGO human rights/social justice organization.  While there, Michelle will spend quality time with streetwalkers.

Pundits agree that “The scale and cost of the visit is certain to provoke criticism from Mr. Obama’s Republican foes in the U.S. at a time when the country is mired in economic difficulties, with unemployment standing at nearly 10 percent.” Barack could care less. Given the fact that a Democrat rout is predicted, this in your face, multimillion-dollar trip can only be interpreted as Obama administering a retaliatory counter punch

Nevertheless, while bestowing on America the single digit salute, Obama likely will reiterate his core conviction that “America has its roots in the India of Mahatma Ghandi,” and how important it is “to reflect on his message of non-violence, which continues to inspire people and political movements across the globe.”

Thus, it could be that President Obama believes “block-booking” the sumptuous Taj Mahal Hotel is the best way to reestablish Ghandi-inspired global standing.  On the other hand, it could be that after enduring a crushing electoral reproof three days prior, an exorbitant post-election digitus impudicus may be Barack Obama’s way of having the last word.

Electoral Demosaurus Extinction

According to recent scientific studies, “a third of all mammal species declared extinct in the past few centuries have turned up alive and well.”  In fact, “Some of the more reclusive creatures managed to hide from sight for 80 years only to reappear within four years of being officially named extinct in the wild.”

The idea of wiped out flora and fauna reappearing may enthuse worried conservationists. However, if species in the animal kingdom are able to resurface long after apparent extinction, then a similar threat looms when attempting to oust politicians from perches, lairs and feathered nests.

Long believed-to-be-departed mammals suddenly appearing in the wild, if theoretically applied to politics, generates apprehension for those hopeful that the Democrat majority will be permanently expunged from the Congress, Senate and White House. Yet despite the possible threat, it is comforting to know that at least the late great Robert “White Hood” Byrd (D-WV) and Teddy “Cape Lion of the Senate” Kennedy won’t be gracing the hallowed halls of power ever again.

Nevertheless, there are still quite a few never-say-die liberals haunting the political scene, leaving left-footed Demosaurus prints all over a right-of-center country, not to mention the criminal and the ethically challenged still eagerly planning to make political comebacks, i.e. former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich.

Presently, there are numerous examples of politicians who ought to have been gone long ago being sighted around Washington DC.  Take for example, Jimmy “Red-cockaded woodpecker” Carter intermittently surfacing to hammer away at race issues and dead Kennedys.  And let’s not forget the indomitable Bill “Ozark Hellbender” Clinton.  Clinton turns up in diverse locations leaving a unique scent on everything from humanitarian causes to campaign stops for vulnerable incumbents.  Recently, Clinton the preservationist stumped for at-risk Congressman Barney Frank and zealously attempted to save America’s “Queen Conch” from impending doom.

Even elusive political relic Michael S. Dukakis, former Massachusetts Governor and failed 1988 presidential nominee, visited the White House offering strategy advice for the midterm elections. Dukakis, like the shy okapi, “vanished on the wildlife radar for decades.” Dukakis was nowhere to be found, and then suddenly reappeared like a cloven-hoofed okapi, leaving left-leaning imprints on the surface of the 2010 mid-term election.

In fact, the newly compiled list of mammals “back from the dead” reads like a who’s who of fossilized Democrats yet to be added to a certified roster of vanquished politicians.

Topping the list is the “Cuban Solenodon,” a species similar in nature to Progressive incumbent Alan Grayson (D-FL). The perpetually “rat-like” Grayson crawled out from a campaign hole to accuse Tea Party activists of being “people who… [25 years ago]… were wearing sheets over their heads.”

Grayson, complete with “scaly tail and toxic saliva,” is poised to be unseated in Florida’s Eighth Congressional District by Daniel Webster, who Grayson recently called Taliban Dan.  Florida voters should take heed; extermination at the polls is necessary to guard against a future Cuban Solenodon-style Alan Grayson comeback.

Revitalized rats aside, hope prevails, because “Many scientists believe the world is going through a new ‘mass extinction’ fueled by mankind – and that more species are disappearing now than at any time since the dinosaurs vanished 65 million years ago.” In theory, scientific predictions bode well if applied to the next two elections where mankind-caused ‘mass extinction’ is a needed remedy to depose ancient Demosaurus’ presently in power.

Even more important than mass-, permanent is necessary because according to scientific studies, “More than a third of mammal species that have been classified as extinct or possibly extinct, or flagged as missing, have been rediscovered.”

Another mammal rebirth is the Christmas Island shrew. Presently America is looking forward to removing the gavel from the liberal grip of Nancy Pelosi, who is one helluva prehistoric shrew herself. For the last four years, the Capitol building has been subjected to “high-pitched” Speaker squeaks throughout the rotunda. Thus, a majority of voters appear to be of the opinion that it’s time for Nancy to tunnel under a rock and stay put.

If polls are correct, habitat-dependent Pelosi is one step from demotion to an aisle seat. If all goes according to predictions, for the next State of the Union address, the Shrew will officially be de-perched and seated in the spectator section amongst the rabble.

Dr. Diana Fisher, of the University of Queensland, Australia, claims that in the animal kingdom, “Mammals that suffered from loss of habitat were the most likely to have been declared extinct and then rediscovered,” a precedent Ms. Pelosi will likely attempt to emulate.

In addition to the rats and shrews, back from obsolescence are flying foxes.  For wildlife lovers, a bat revival is a wonderful development, but spells disaster in the political realm. Roosting in the Senate is a colony of Democrat grey-head flying foxes. To name a few: Barbara Boxer (D-CA), Blanche Lincoln (D-AK), Patty Murray (D-WA), and Barbara Mikulski (D-MD). In the House, endangered flying foxes include the vulnerable Betsy Markey (D-CO), Carol Shea-Porter (D-NH), and youngling Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ).

Each and every Democrat woman in the House and Senate is inarguably more batty than foxy, larger than life, and personally responsible for causing America to cry out for permanent flying fox extinction.

One male casualty of primary banishment is a scaly chameleon named Arlen Specter (D-PA).  Other vulnerable endangered species include Senator Harry “Devil’s Hole Pupfish” Reid of Nevada, Russ “Warbler” Feingold of Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania’s “Eastern Mud Salamander” Joe “Refused to be Bribed” Sestak.

Scientists contend that “Species spread out over larger areas [are] also more likely to be wrongly classified as extinct.” Across the nation, from New Hampshire to California liberal Democrats are experiencing varied levels of political endangerment. Categories range from “critically endangered” to “conservation dependent” to a Pat Leahy (D-VT) “near threatened” leaving ultra-blue Chuckie Shumer (D-NY) and Daniel Inouye (D-HI) secure and “least concerned.”

“According to the International Union for the Conservation of Nature, 22 percent of the world’s mammals are at risk of extinction.” Democrats are acutely aware that political extinction looms.  If Republicans pick up the predicted 10 seats in the Senate, 17% of Democrat Senators stand to be driven out.  If at-risk Democrats lose a possible 50 seats in the House, 20% will be consigned to exile, after which “Devil’s Hole” Harry and Speaker Shrew will officially be categorized as critically endangered/soon to be extinct politicians.

However, in nature, “the complete data-set, 67 species that were once missing have been rediscovered,” which in politics is a phenomenon that must be prevented at all costs. A species cannot survive without an intact habitat. Dr. Fisher maintains that it’s unlikely endangered species “would have survived had [habitats] been cleared,” which is precisely why it’s time to clear havens occupied by mammals bearing Democrat markings. Ejecting the left from safe and protected native areas is the first step to ensuring extinction.

Flourishing Conservative philosophy has the muscle to choke off liberalism, ensuring the left is powerless to “gradually regenerate.” In turn, officially dismissed politicians will be discouraged from returning to Washington DC to reproduce and rekindle a predatory political genus that would benefit the nation much more by remaining extinct.

Reviving the Unconscious

Originally posted at American Thinker blog

There is quite of flurry of activity surrounding the mid-term elections.  Criss-crossing the nation on Air Force One, for Obama nothing at the office is as pressing as joining the effort to ensure Barney Frank remains a Massachusetts Congressman.

The President is utilizing “every weapon in his arsenal to prod the people who helped propel him into the White House two years ago” to vote this November. In fact, Obama went so far as to take a break from ushering in global amity to call Michael Baisden’s radio show where street fighter Barry predicted “hand to hand combat” would result if Republicans managed to take control of Congress.

On the radio, Obama incentivized voters by way of trusty “Barack” appeal.  Agreeing with what he perceives to be the unspoken sentiment of Baisden’s listeners, Obama suggested voters would be more motivated if they were casting a vote for him, after which he explained how losing the election impacted him, which in Obama World is ample reason for unenthused radio listeners to get out and vote.

Moving from the airwaves to the dusty trail, the President hopes to inspire the left to pull the lever for the majority party in less than a month.

With Democrats poised to lose both Houses, Obama figured stumping in the Old Line State might help hinder the approaching political tsunami.  It was at Maryland’s Bowie State University that Obama, on a personal level, goaded voters to support Democrats by saying: “Don’t make me look bad now. I’m betting on you” [Emphasis mine].

Rolling up his shirtsleeves the President exhorted “core components of the Democrat base,” imploring, “I’m going to need you just as fired up as you were in 2008.”  Wasn’t it in 2008 that voting was inspired by unmerited adoration, adulation and veneration?

An energized President apparently assumed everyone at the Bowie rally also attended the inauguration, because Obama said, “I know everybody here remembers the inauguration. I know it was cold, but everybody here was having a good time. Beyoncé was singing.” Huh?

Apparently, Obama is of the belief that nothing motivates voters more than being reminded of the great time had by all listening to Sasha Fierce serenade a newly inaugurated president, while weeping Americans shivered uncontrollably due to sub-zero wind chill factors while standing on the Washington Mall.

One heckler shouted to the President, “You’re a liar,” which caused Obama supporters to mask the veracity of the first and only honest statement by shouting over Obama’s stump speech.  Undeterred, oblivious to the fracas, immersed and enamored with his own brilliant electoral exhortation, the President didn’t even recognize that for a time, the audience couldn’t hear a word he said.

Nevertheless, Barry, in full campaign mode, transported listeners back to 2008, better known as the glory days of the Obama campaign, where swooning was as common an occurrence as showers of confetti and blue waves of “Yes We Can” signs blowing in the breeze.

In fact, in Bowie, Maryland Obama stirred voter excitement to such a crescendo that three dozen people suddenly fell ill when stricken with an unexpected episode of dizziness and fainting. Unaware, a self-absorbed Obama continued speaking “despite … health issues in the audience.”

Presently, Barack is on a mission to expunge lethargy from a downtrodden political party whose leaders actually spurn the company of a President obsessed with personally reviving disengaged voters.  Thus, losing consciousness during Obama’s stump speech may well be attributed to 36 trapped victims needing a smelling-salt escape route, and not the political ecstasy commonly witnessed at “Obama ‘08” campaign rallies.

‘Guard the Change,’ says Obama

Originally posted at American Thinker blog

It was long past due for Barack to come up with a catchy slogan for the next election.  So it was right on time when Obama showed up at the Congressional Black Caucus annual awards dinner resplendent in black tie, speaking the captivating words “guard the change.”

Fanning the flames of a waning fire that is being suffocated by a pervasive lack of African-American voter enthusiasm, President Obama appealed to a base of black leaders asking for support in getting voters to turn out for the mid term elections.

Obama attempted to marshal the troops with a fiery campaign-style speech exhorting the fawning audience, saying,

I need everybody here to go back to your neighborhoods, and your workplaces, to your churches, and barbershops, and beauty shops. Tell them we have more work to do. Tell them we can’t wait to organize. Tell them that the time for action is now.

With November swiftly approaching and polls indicating that “African-Americans [are] much less likely to vote than whites,” Obama’s “guard the change” rallying cry is a “deliberate effort to recapture the enthusiasm that had helped him win the White House” in 2008.

After two years of incessant rhetoric, even Obama admits, “It’s not surprising that a lot of people may not be feeling that energized or that engaged right now. A lot of folks may be feeling like politics is something they get involved in every four years when there’s a presidential election, but they don’t see why they should bother the rest of the time.”

Translation:  “I know I motivated 96% of black voters to come out for me.  Although Harry Reid would look silly speaking in the shadow of Greek columns, it’s time to disregard the boredom and gas up the school buses for November second.”

Barack Obama is aware that in the forthcoming election the opposing party stands to make huge gains as the economy continues to falter, the border remains open and unemployment lines morph into bread lines. Obama’s socialist vision for America runs the risk of coming to a screeching halt if motivated white voters help Republicans wrest back control of Congress.

The right gaining control of the legislative branch of government could very well pour sand in the engine of a liberal left wing steam roller. “Eyeing a potential Congressional win in November, House Republicans are planning to chip away at the White House’s legislative agenda—in particular the health-care law—by depriving the programs of cash.” Beginning with the most unpopular, Republicans are campaigning on the promise that the first course of business is to save America by depriving Obama’s health care reform of funding.

In response, Obama appealed to the “conscience of the U.S. Congress.” The President responded to the looming conservative threat by asking the Congressional Black Caucus to lend a hand to “congressional Democrats running in close races.”  Obama cited the predicted tidal wave of discontented voters on the horizon by ardently reminding the caucus “The last election was a changing of the guard – now we need to guard the change.”

“Guard the change” is a clever “hope and change” style slogan.  In addition to being a motivating motto, the catchphrase also affords America a glimpse into what appears to occupy the mind of a president whose popularity diminishes daily. Three little words, “Guard the change,” if transposed reads “Change the guard” which, with or without the help of the Congressional Black Caucus, is an imminent political adjustment even Barack can sense is coming.

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