Tag Archives: Jimmy Fallon

Mrs. Knucklehead Smiff Calls Millennials Knuckleheads

Michelle Jimmy

Originally posted at The Blacksphere

Young people of America! The first lady of the United States thinks you’re a “knucklehead.”

That’s right, a “knucklehead,” which is defined as “A stupid person; a blockhead…fool; idiot… a stupid, bumbling, inept person.”

Merriam-Webster dictionary online lists words that are synonymous with knucklehead, like airhead, birdbrain, cretin, doofus, dumbbell, half-wit, ignoramus, nincompoop, and schnook – you get the picture.

First FLOTUS attended a faux pajama party and danced it up with two ex-SNL comedians in drag. Then Michelle informed her slumber party mates, “Sara” and “Stacey,” that kale chips are high in what sounded like “Omega-3 fatty-ass-id.”

After the skit, Mrs. Obama slid into something more comfortable, and sidled up on Jimmy Fallon’s couch to continue politicizing late night TV on The Tonight Show.

The first lady explained why young people need Nanny State Obamacare to take care of them: they’re “knuckleheads.”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dH_LvV5Cm_w[/youtube]

Mrs. Obama said:“Well, thanks to the Affordable Care Act, young people can stay on their parents’ insurance until they are 26. But once they hit 26 — they’re on their own.”

There was a time in the not-so-distant past when staying on your parent’s insurance until you’re 26 wasn’t something to be proud of. Michelle Obama warned that at age 26, young Americans who are unemployed thanks to her husband are really, really on their own.

Thankfully, as a fill-in for Papa and Mama, Obamacare will happily stand in the gap.

The first lady continued: “And a lot of young people think they’re invincible,” and here’s why: because “the truth is, young people are knuckleheads.”

Why are they knuckleheads? According to Mrs. Obama, “They’re the ones who are cooking for the first time and slice their finger open, they’re dancing on the bar stool.”

Wait! Cut their finger cooking? Dancing on bar stools? Is that how the first lady views America’s young people? Moreover, isn’t this the woman who wants to hand out abortifacients to teenagers like candy? So why is she worried about cut fingers and bar stool injuries?

Apparently Michelle Obama views twenty-somethings as klutzes who can’t handle a paring knife. People so sheltered that, at 26 years of age, they finally cook their first meal like a big boy and a big girl.

Then, after slicing open a finger and only barely able to stop the bleeding because of not having Obamacare, these knuckleheads go and drown their no-health-insurance sorrows in a bar, getting sloshed and dancing on bar stools.

How condescending. How insulting. How totally obnoxious.

If Millennials are “knuckleheads,” it’s for being stupid enough to help elect Barack Obama – who ironically happens to bear a striking resemblance to Knucklehead Smiff – not once, but twice. Clearly, Mrs. Obama doesn’t realize that if not for those “knuckleheads,” her husband might not have been elected all those long, miserable years ago.

With that in mind, this is a perfect opportunity for the ‘Young Invincibles’ to send a truly invincible message. Refuse to be coerced into Obamacare by this supercilious woman.

The condescending First Lady and her dummkopf husband have already placed too many burdens on the shoulders of those she’s calling “knuckleheads.”

So when Obamacare comes calling? Just say no!

Michelle Obama: One ‘Busy Mother’

michelle-oabam-bangs_1358774298177_357672_ver1.0_320_240-300x225If anyone was wondering of late why Michelle has been sporting a youthful set of bangs, vacationing by herself, dancing to “All the Single Ladies” with Jimmy Fallon, or using exercise as an excuse to practice pole dancing moves, the truth may finally be out.

Seems Barry and Shelly may have gone the way of that other blissfully happy political power couple, Hill and Bill.

Recently, during an interview with a CBS affiliate in Vermont, Mrs. Obama, referring to herself, said, “Believe me, as a busy single mother — or, I shouldn’t say, ‘single.’ As a busy mother.”

Oops! Doesn’t a smart woman like Michelle realize that there is a big difference between “single” and “busy?”  Guess she does, because the first lady quickly corrected her Freudian slip by saying, “Sometimes when you’ve got the husband who’s president, it can feel a little single, but he’s there.”

Did Shelley mean to say “he’s there,” or he’s “out there?”  Or did she mean to say that while “he’s there,” it feels like he’s not there?

Either way, despite the peculiar blunder, the first lady did get the “mother” part correct.  She also got the “busy” part right, because if there’s one thing that’s true, Ms. Michelle Robinson-Obama is one busy-body-mother.  As for the “single” part, was that a slip of the tongue, wishful thinking, a throwback to 2000 when she allegedly threatened to divorce her loser husband, or did she accidentally blurt out factual, top-secret information?

 Read the rest of the article at The Blacksphere

And the Oscar goes to… Michelle Obama

390-michelle-obama-oscars-photoshopped-farsnews-300x184There is a nasty word for how the Obamas act when it comes to wanting to be seen with the 1% Hollywood crowd, but I’ll skip sharing the term other than to say it’s the title of a song by Nine Inch Nails.

Nevertheless, fresh off of demeaning the Office of the President by doing “The Happy Snapper” with Jimmy Fallon in drag, the first lady managed to find a way to claw her way onto the stage at the Academy Awards.  Because, hey, what would a Hollywood event be without at least one of the Obamas being the center of attention?

Read the rest of the article at The Blacksphere

Michelle Obama’s Well-Marbled Manipulation

Originally posted at American Thinker blog

In recent weeks Mrs. Obama might as well be crisscrossing the United States of America with broccoli in one hand and a five-pound hand weight in the other, with carrot tops sticking out of her back pocket and half a cantaloupe for a hat.  She’s done pushups with Ellen DeGeneres, exercised with Olympic Gold Medalist Dominique Dawes, sack-raced with comedian Jimmy Fallon, exercised with Desmond Tutu, and even done the platypus walk at Disney World.  And that’s just for starters.

She’s appeared on the cover of every magazine, from over-40 women’s magazine More to Prevention, where she’s touted the benefits of cutting fat and eating vegetables, and has done so to everyone from Jay Leno on the Tonight Show to a group of toddlers in New Orleans.  If you listen to what she says, the woman certainly sounds committed.  But commitment involves more than words, and when Michelle Obama’s food directives are compared to the food choices and menu selections she makes for herself and her dinner guests, there’s oftentimes a super-sized portion of deceit.

A perfect example of that is the Obama-hosted White House Governor’s Dinner, where healthy eating submitted to caloric obscenity. Visiting Washington DC for the National Governor’s Association winter meeting, a group of state heavyweights dined compliments of the Obamas the night before the event.

Now, either the First Lady had nothing to say about the menu (which is doubtful), was attempting to ‘kill’ Republican governors (with kindness of course), or because of Sunday being a day of rest and all, passed on the veggie burgers and threw caution to the wind.

Due to prior commitments, Governor Jan Brewer skipped the social gathering, and so with Obama’s favorite governor in absentia the dinner probably had less to do with covert sabotage and more to do with an impressive array of double standards.  Reminiscent of Super Bowl Party celebrations, replete with huge bowls of German potato salad and oily deep dish pizza, the menu for the festivities in the State Dining Room attempted to redeem itself by claiming to be comprised of “regionally sourced” American favorites.

On the menu was a gigundo hunk of fat-laden rib eye steak, which may have been featured to accommodate the President, who kept telling his guests, “Tonight it’s about having some fun.  I want everybody to have a great time tonight.”

In addition to the rib eye steak, also served up in style were salads made from greens harvested from Mrs. Obama’s year-round-always-in-bloom Kitchen Garden.  The main course included no-cream creamed spinach and all-American healthy favorite Maryland crab macaroni and cheese, all topped off by an artery-clogging dessert of pear tart a la mode.  Don’t tell me this wasn’t a direct threat to portly New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s health.

And oh yes, the 2,550 calorie Gastronomical Governors’ Xanadu was washed down by an array of traditional American white wines.

The governors were there because they were slated to meet the following day to talk policy in separate meetings with the President and the First Lady.  One would guess that Michelle’s policy discussions have to do with healthy eating initiatives and governmental diktats determining portion sizes and ingredients in public school lunches and in private restaurants.  What was Michelle planning to do, use the prior night’s dinner as an object lesson in what not to eat?

Feeling jovial, party-animal Obama, who’s been known to organize a Conga line or two himself, entertained the awkward mix of Republican and Democrat guests by sharing a story that could shed some light on the real reason why, when it comes to food, Michelle Obama habitually says one thing and eats another.

Transforming the Governor’s Dinner into the joke portion of the Gridiron dinner he plans not to attend, “The President told a story about President Andrew Jackson’s inauguration, when crowds flooded into the historic rooms, threatening to ‘crush’ the new Commander in Chief.”

Obama, who just doesn’t strike one as the comedic type, got the group to chuckle when he said, “As things started getting out of hand, the staff decided to pass barrels of ice cream and whiskey out the window to get people out on the lawn, so they wouldn’t cause damage and break the chandeliers and the furniture.”

It wasn’t reported whether there was any chandelier-swinging at the Governor’s Dinner, but furniture damage could have been an unintended consequence of a high-calorie feast. Nonetheless, Obama said, “So I just want you to know, in case things get rowdy, we also have a barrel standing by.”
Ah ha! In the end, it may not be hypocrisy at all. The Black Star ice wine and no-cream creamed spinach, grown on the same lawn that was showered with barrels of whiskey and frozen creamery in the volatile Jacksonian era, could have been served in the interest of presidential safety.

Standby barrels of booze and butterfat may explain what is falsely perceived as duplicity. The truth is, especially in an election year, 2,550-calorie dinner parties may merely be an effort on the part of culinary control freak Michelle Obama to quell the irritation of perturbed moderate Democrats and sedate Republican gubernatorial critics with slabs of well-marbled beef, vats of crab mac and cheese, and barrels of wine.

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