Tag Archives: Huma

BEFORE HILLARY LECTURES AMERICA ABOUT FAMILY: She Needs to Send Huma Packing

Originally posted at CLASH Daily

Hillary Rodham Clinton loves to portray herself as pro-family. This is a woman who has been un-blissfully wed for 40 years to the world’s most notorious philanderer and yet, on their anniversary, she unabashedly tweeted to Bill, who was probably enjoying a cigar on Pedophile Island with Jeffrey Epstein, that he’s still “got it,” whatever “it” is

In addition to “taking a village” of nubile Lolitas to keep her lecherous husband sexually satisfied, when it comes to family values Mrs. Clinton also believes “It Takes a Village” to raise a child.

And thank God for the village, because from the looks of things Huma Abedin, Hillary’s right-hand woman, has had to leave her little boy with the village people so that she can aid and abet the most power-hungry female on the planet.

You remember Huma – she’s the humiliated wife of former Congressman Anthony “Naked Selfies” Weiner (D-NY). After Anthony got caught with his pants down the last time Huma was off tending to Mrs. Clinton’s needs, Hillary’s closest confidante took her mentor’s advice and stayed married to Sydney Leathers’ boyfriend.

This time around, while Huma is again on the road, besides being more careful while sexting Mr. Weiner spends the lion’s share of his time tending to the couple’s three-year-old son Jordan Zain.

While the tousled-haired tot is home eating stale Cheerios with Dad, besides ordering Her HRC Chipotle chicken burrito bowls, Huma serves as vice chairwoman of Hillary for America and travels around in the Scooby-Doo van listening to Hillary drone on and on incessantly about her plans to take over the world.

While Hillary markets herself as mother and grandmother of the year, instead of suggesting Huma go home and potty train her child, Clinton stands by while Abedin embroils herself in the Clinton email scandal, takes to Twitter to trash Republican candidates like Ben Carson for his Muslim remarks, and single-handedly makes sure the creases in the legs of Hillary’s pantsuits adequately elongate the presidential hopeful’s lithe physique.

Fake, phony fraud that she is, Hillary wants America to believe that she’s “standing up for kids and families.” But in reality, having Huma with her is more important to Hillary than her assistant’s husband, who seems to still be struggling with infidelity, and child, both of whom need to have a wife and mother in closer proximity than a presidential debate in Nevada.

Mrs. Clinton is well aware that much like herself and Bill, Huma has had to deal with Anthony’s very public indiscretions. Yet rather than suggest her sounding-board gofer girl mend her marriage and tend to her small son, a self-centered Hillary has permitted Huma to put mothering and marital restoration aside to assist her on the campaign trail.

Then again, Hillary, a strong supporter of abortion, may say she’s all for families, but based on the message her lifestyle sends and some of her more ridiculous campaign ads, what’s patently clear is that Hillary believes that climate change has a more negative effect on children than an abortion, absentee mother, or a pervert father.

Nonetheless, even those things have not prevented Hillary from having a campaign slogan that says she believes that “when families are strong, America is strong.” The problem with such a disingenuous statement coming from Hillary is that the tireless political hack has a family life and marriage that is, has been, and always will be a sad, pathetic sham.

Remember way back when Hillary stated her feminist goals, saying, “I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas, but what I decided to do was to fulfill my profession which I entered before my husband was in public life.”

In other words, Hillary is proud that her dedication to her profession took precedence over her commitment to her husband and marriage.

Lest we forget that as part of the almost half-century long cohabitating ruse, while goal-oriented Mom is out frenetically pursuing her hollow fantasy, on 20 acres in Chappaqua, New York sits an $11 million mansion furnished with cold-hearted unfaithfulness, complete with a fully-equipped kitchen that is absent of the smell of freshly baked cookies and devoted nurturing.

And Hillary is preaching to us about the importance of family values?

By allowing Huma to follow the lonesome path she’s chosen, hypocrite Hillary is promoting more of the same self-inflicted maternal and marital dysfunction she’s suffered for a lifetime.

For 40 years Clinton has endured her husband’s voracious desire for other women and now, rather than admit that her selfish pursuit of power may be largely responsible for her own domestic dismay, a pretentious Hillary dares to tout strong families as if she’s an authority on the subject.

Moreover, on behalf of a selfish goal, rather than send Abedin home where the young mother belongs, in order to help her claw her way into the Oval Office, Hillary Clinton is allowing her personal aide to virtually abandon her child and marriage.

God forbid, but if Clinton does somehow manage to bamboozle her way back into the White House, she’ll reside there a bitter old woman who gave up everything that matters in order to occupy for a fleeting moment in time what she foolishly believed to be the fulfillment of her own historic vision.

Still, it was Hillary who once said: “Don’t confuse having a career with having a life.”

With that in mind, maybe the next time Huma and Hillary put their heads together for a tête-à-tête, the aging careerist whose bifocals are fixed like a laser on the White House could turn things around for Huma by telling the young woman that it would be in her family’s best interest if she went home.

HILLARY ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL! Scooby-Dum Visits Chipotle Grill in the Scooby-Doo-Doo Mobile

scooby-300x180Originally posted at CLASH Daily

Hillary Clinton has recommenced in her desperate attempt to claw her way from Chappaqua, New York all the back to the White House.

As part of the effort, Mrs. Clinton is now traveling around in a van roomy enough to fit Secret Service agents, personal assistants, all her pantsuits, and almost all the stuff that she and Bill stole from the White House when they left in 2001.

Hillary’s personal aide, Huma Mahmood Abedin, is also traveling with former first lady. Huma is so dedicated to the cause that she left her husband Anthony and toddler son Jordan Zain behind and is riding together with Mrs. Clinton in the now famous Scooby-Doo.

Meanwhile, one can’t help but wonder whether an unparented Anthony is doing some tooling around town himself, hawking his wares out of the back seat of his very own Weinermobile.

Speaking of missing husbands, where’s Bill? Hopefully he’s not lunching on “Orgy Island” with pal Jeffrey Epstein.

Either way, wieners or no wieners, “Lolita Express” or no “Lolita Express,” Hillary must have decided now is as good a time as any to show her support for undocumented workers. And, in order to do so, she made a pit stop for lunch at an establishment notorious for hiring illegal staff.

Shortly after arriving in the Buckeye state, Mrs. Clinton slid out of the back seat of the $60,000, taxpayer-funded Scooby-Doo van and ventured – pink pantsuit, movie star Ray-Bans, Blackberry, and all – into a Chipotle Grill to address her hankering for amnesty-friendly Mexican food.

Now for those watching, that was impressive.

After all, Hillary, who hosted a $3 million wedding for her future White House advisor/daughter Chelsea, and who fancies herself a “champion” of “everyday” people, could have easily dispatched one of her minions – er, I mean assistants – to fetch her a “chicken burrito bowl, a chicken salad, a Blackberry Izze drink, and a soda” as well as an extra side order of Omega-3-laden guacamole.

But humble public servant that she is, Hillary Clinton did not.

Instead, after working up an appetite out-gassing a pack of salivating media types who were seen chasing her van on foot, Ms. Hillary must have felt that Ohio was as good a state as any to prove to America that ordering a 1,654 calorie lunch is another common folk task that, if need be, she can handle all by herself.

So there you have it. On the first “Scooby dooby dum dum” day of Hillary Clinton’s cartoonish campaign, the big news is that one of the most egocentric, haughty politicians on the planet actually ordered her own lunch.

Hillary stepped out of the van, walked all by herself into the cafeteria-style haven for illegal workers, and ordered up a steaming bowl of beany burrito fixings that was likely responsible for most of the methane emissions emanating from the tailpipe of what should henceforth and in perpetuity be referred to as Hillary Clinton’s Scooby-Doo-Doo mobile.

Corndogs and a Disgraced Weiner

Originally posted at BIG Government

Finally, Congressman Anthony Weiner (D-NY) did the honorable thing: he folded up his towel and handed in his pass to the House Members Gym in the basement of the Rayburn House Office Building. Weiner must have “heed[ed] calls from President Barack Obama,” who said that if he found himself in a similar position, “he’d resign.”

Besides the president, calls for Weiner to capitulate came from both sides of the aisle: House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) as well as a woman who, under different circumstances, would normally celebrate such a colorful display of sexual expression, San Francisco liberal House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA). This time, however, both John and Nancy agreed it would be in the country’s best interest if Weiner headed back to Queens and remained there permanently.

Anthony Weiner’s long overdue submission to pressure ended nearly “three weeks of tumultuous political controversy,” which included “sexting,” lying, and lewd pictures.  Besides “a photo of a man’s crotch posted publicly on his Twitter account…and a tear-filled press conference,” also trickling out into the public were racy photos “including one of his naked genitals and others of him posing in the House gym.”

In addition, the nation was also subjected to an ongoing parade of women stepping forward and accusing Weiner of inappropriately communicating with them via the Internet.   Thus far the bevy of beauties included a black jack dealer, an aspiring nurse, a 21-year-old student, and a cheerleading coach, as well as a Pink Pony pole dancer/porn actress named Ginger Lee, who just so happens to be the very truthful client of feminist lawyer/opportunist Gloria Allred.

Before making any final decisions about leaving Congress, “Weiner had said he would wait until his wife Huma Abedin returned” from navigating the African continent for a week with boss and graduate of the School for Political Wives of Philandering Husbands, Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Seems after his wife’s return the congressman made up his mind to resign pretty quickly, which means Obama, Boehner, and Pelosi had nothing to do with the decision and Weiner throwing in the gym towel had everything to do with his bride of one year, Huma, who was nowhere to be found during the congressman’s circus-like resignation press conference.

In spite of his belief that his New York constituents would forgive salacious indiscretions in return for a representative with a 100% NARAL rating, it appears that the mother of Weiner’s unborn child did not agree with cocky Anthony stubbornly subjecting her, Weiner Jr., or the Democrat party to additional humiliation.

Either way, it didn’t matter because supposedly even before Weiner’s decision to step down was made official, House Democrats were “set to strip [no pun intended] Weiner of his committee assignments.” Before publicly thanking his lawyer father and New York City public school teacher mother (which explains a lot) for having “instilled in [him] the values that have carried [him] this far,” Weiner called and informed Democratic Congressional Committee chairperson Steve Israel, “who had also called for his resignation,” to inform him he planned to cede his congressional seat.

Ironically, when Israel got the call from Weiner both he and Pelosi were enjoying ‘corn dogs’ and ‘chicken in a basket’ at the annual White House South Lawn picnic.

Prior to Weiner’s resignation, Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) told reporters he was unaware of the congressman’s plans to quit, which was hard to believe because apparently John threw caution to the wind and in between handfuls of kettle corn actually smoked what could be viewed as a celebratory cigarette in plain sight of revelers at the White House annual picnic.

Verbose chair of the Democratic National Committee, Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL), who also encouraged Weiner’s departure, had no further comment about Weiner’s extracurricular antics and claimed she got all her updates directly from a Blackberry similar to the one used by Weiner to snap pictures of his naked manhood.

It’s hard to fathom, but Missouri Representative Lacy Clay (D-MO), after hearing about Weiner’s decision to resign, lauded the NY congressman as a “die-hard member of our caucus,” but apparently, that’s exactly what he said. Clay also said he hoped Weiner gets “needed help” and referred to the entire situation as “sad.”

Nevertheless, all is not lost! If Weiner’s post-sex-therapy political rehabilitation/national book tour doesn’t work out, the legislator can always go back to pursuing his lifelong dream of becoming a weatherman.

And so another Democrat “weapon of war…perishes,” turns in his government-issued perks and the keys to his Congressional office. As a shamed Weiner heads back to Forest Hills in Queens to try to repair what little is left of his marriage, reputation and life, a poignant line of Scripture comes to mind from the Old Testament book of 2nd Samuel, Chapter 1 verse 27: “Oh how the mighty have fallen!”

A Party of Political Peacocks

Originally posted at American Thinker

Testosterone-driven men don’t usually think of themselves as peacocks, but riding around in sooped-up cars, sporting pumped-up pectorals, donning flashy clothes and looking for opportunities to display cash-stuffed money clips in public are some of the many ways male humans fan out their showy feathers to catch the attention of female peahens.

In nature, peahen gals are attracted to the most ornate male peacock – or the guy toting the most bling. Year after year during breeding season, to draw a mate peacocks return to the same location. The peafowls congregate close together and treat foraging peahens to a buffet featuring a spectacular courtship dance.

After the show, the grey and brown peacock hiding beneath the most glorious feathered fan usually garners extra attention from the ladies. The male peafowl with the greatest number of eyespots on his feathers gets to swagger away accompanied by a harem.

“The collective name for a group of peacocks is a party,” and in politics former President Bill Clinton and Congressman Anthony Weiner turn out to be two of the best examples of a ‘party’ of peacocks. Both men have proven notorious for coming up with creative techniques to capture female attention. Neither Clinton nor Weiner flutter their tail feathers, produce rustling sounds or flaunt quivering fans, but in lieu of spectacular plumage, both have exploited positions of power in an effort to seduce women.

To attract females, “The degree of tail ornamentation that a peacock displays is its primary means of sexual communication.” For the human male, especially in politics, power and prestige can provide all the ‘tail ornamentation’ men like Bill Clinton and Anthony Weiner need.

In the hope that their political status would attract females who normally would give neither one so much as a gander, philandering birds-of-a-feather Bill and Anthony have both utilized the plumage of their positions to compensate for deficits in character, fidelity, and honesty.

Wasn’t it on the wings of power that the country’s most notorious adulterer honked his way from the Arkansas governor’s mansion straight into the White House? All along the route, Bill Clinton managed to issue continual mating calls while enveloped in a showy garment of political peacock feathers.

Throughout his political career Clinton sought every opportunity to gather unto himself a gaggle of women.  From naïve Paula Jones, who was confronted in a hotel room by a governor without pants to Kathleen Willey, a woman who Clinton likely felt should feel honored to be ambushed by a president and subjected to a “hug, kiss” and unappreciated groping.  Pea “foul” Clinton apparently was under the impression that the trappings of power were an impressive enough show of feathers that Willey would agree to submit right there on the couch in the president’s private study.

What Clinton found out was that peahens sometimes choose to mate, while others walk away, thus prompting the male to start the dance all over again. Undeterred for years, the ever-prancing, smooth-strutting Clinton performed his courting dance in the same locale. The then-president unfurled a feathered plume called the Oval Office, which finally succeeded in attracting an immature peahen named Monica Lewinsky who, once inside the infamous cigar bar, managed to make history by willingly participating in telephone sex, nine furtive trysts, and a salacious scandal of massive proportions.

Thirteen years after William Jefferson provided Monica with a stack of dry cleaning bills, in order to attract his own bevy of females underling Anthony Weiner decided to follow ‘party’ suit and did a ton of peacock strutting himself, and did it while occupying a seat in Congress representing the good people of Brooklyn and Queens New York.

Luckily for Weiner, female “peahens build nests on the ground, lay three to five eggs and raise their peachicks without help from the peacock.” In fact, while Weiner’s pregnant wife Huma busily prepared the nest to receive offspring, morally bankrupt breeder Anthony was stocking his harem with porn stars, nursing students, black jack dealers, 21-year-olds, and even allegedly grooming a 17-year-old peachick for possible future use.

Congress became Anthony Weiner’s attention-getting ticket.  Weiner made a few “high-pitched squawking sounds” and fanned a few look-at-me-ladies displays on the House floor with a follow-up exhibit in the basement gym at the Rayburn House Office Building in Washington, DC.  The New York congressman was so consumed with the mating dance he disrespected a federal building and snapped nearly nude photos of himself using the Congressional gym as a backdrop.

Sans an array of upright barbules, Congressman Weiner posed in front of a mirror doing what a peacock does, stepping side to side, forward and backward in a half-naked mating dance, ‘sexting’ pictures taken on what could turn out to be a government-issued Blackberry.

Bird enthusiasts know from their observations that a proud peacock is able to “hold his fan of display feathers up for a very long time.” In a few of Weiner’s self-portraits the congressman was also seen proudly holding his own ‘display’ for ‘a very long time,’ as well as Tweeting juvenile photos of himself over the Internet in a backwards baseball cap.

Although androgen-drenched men have a tendency to fan various types of feathers to attract female attention, adulterous men of power like Bill Clinton are notorious for finessing influence to benefit themselves sexually.  However, the vision of Anthony Weiner primping in front of a congressional gym mirror with a towel cinched around his waist while grabbing himself takes peacock strutting and plume parading, even in Washington DC, to a whole new level.

Truth is, after all the bravado America now knows that even the fanciest of feathers fall short of expectations, because plumage is superficial and only impressive from one angle. In the end, at a very great price, the faux feathers donned by the Clinton/Weiner peacock ‘party’ managed to deliver both men just two things: short-lived pleasure and permanent disgrace.

‘Stand by the Man’ dressed in the tighty whities

Huma Abedin, aka Mrs. Anthony Weiner, has dropped off the map for a few days.

Apparently Huma, embarrassed wife of the seriously disturbed New York congressman, has been squirreled away somewhere seeking marriage counseling from mother Hillary.

Could it be that the distraught Mrs. Weiner hasn’t changed out of sweatpants and flip-flops for days, while trying to makes sense of how “Tony-the-Twitter Tiger” could humiliate her this way?

Hillary, a pro at dealing with betrayal issues, has agreed to take a few days out of her busy schedule to selflessly dedicate herself to helping her personal assistant deal with the pain of rejection, humiliation, disappointment and the shock of seeing pictures of her husband’s manhood plastered all over the Internet.

Putting it all into perspective, it’s probable Hillary counseled  Huma that when weighing fidelity against political power – political power wins every time!

Chances are Madame Secretary has been coaching Weiner’s woman and explaining to her that riding through this type of trial is kind of like surfing a big wave in Hawaii weighed down by a polyester pants suit.  It’s a tad shaky at first, but once you get your footing,  its smooth sailing all the way through to a  Haiti Relief Fund appointment  for hubby and a high-level Cabinet position in a Democratic administration for wifey.

In between weepy hug sessions, to help Mrs. Weiner rebuild self-esteem, Hillary could have shared pointers such as repeating tried-and-true Stuart Smalley affirmations like: “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and doggone it people like me.”

Minnesota Senator Al Franken aside, it’s highly probable that after emptying the wastebasket of 4 or 5 boxes of Kleenex, and liberally applying a gallon of Vaseline to Huma’s red, peeled nose, Hillary knew that if her assistant was going to be there to tell her never to put that ridiculous  banana clip in her hair again, it was time to pull out the big guns.

Based on Hillary’s “Stand by Your Man” history the former first lady may have uncovered a secret weapon residing inside a wig box and on a sachet-scented hanger tucked within the dark recesses of her Chappaqua closet.  A weapon so powerful it may hold the key to getting Huma out of those sweat pants and back into a power suit.

Over the years, due to compulsive Slick Willy’s unmentionable relapses Hillary has maintained her steely composure, drawing strength from an unknown source, not once, but many times over. Nobody knows for certain, but Hillary may have carefully laid her treasure on the bed and told Huma she was about to be let in on something more confidential than the nuclear codes President Clinton lost while in office.

With that in mind, it’s not hard to imagine, Hillary reverently opening a circular box, carefully taking out a blond, 1960’s ash blonde wig and, like a crown, placing it on Huma’s raven colored head. Or, picturing the former first lady unzipping a garment bag, shaking out a pinkish/orangish sequined/tight-fitting sheath, and asking Huma to scurry off and shimmy into it.

It’s also easy to see Huma emerging from the bathroom, dressed in Hillary’s outfit, looking more relaxed, and despite her Saudi American heritage, strangely similar to country singer Tammy Wynette.

At that point, it’s not impossible to believe Hillary reassured Huma that she learned the hard way that when a powerful woman is forced to endure a husband whose hobby, rather than Bocce ball, is marital infidelity peace does not come by way of prayer, divorce proceedings, or from blaming Republicans for a cigar-smoking husband’s philandering ways, but from heading downstairs to the porch and quietly singing a song that holds clear directives for the future.

A song whose words, may  remind Hillary of  her innate ability to overlook Bill’s raunchy antics, of how much she loves the old slime ball, and how desperately a woman can desire  the title: ” Leader of the Free World”  not be tainted by perceptions of a womanly lack of forgiveness.

And so, in an effort to make short work of a long week,  Huma in a humongous blonde wig and a glittery  sequined dress may have also headed toward Hillary’s lonely porch and competed only with evening and the crickets given Mrs. Clinton’s 30-year long spurned woman ritual a Hillary-endorsed, “Stand by Your Man”-Mrs. Weiner whirl.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwBirf4BWew[/youtube]

 

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