Originally posted at CLASH Daily
Hillary Clinton has recommenced in her desperate attempt to claw her way from Chappaqua, New York all the back to the White House.
As part of the effort, Mrs. Clinton is now traveling around in a van roomy enough to fit Secret Service agents, personal assistants, all her pantsuits, and almost all the stuff that she and Bill stole from the White House when they left in 2001.
Hillary’s personal aide, Huma Mahmood Abedin, is also traveling with former first lady. Huma is so dedicated to the cause that she left her husband Anthony and toddler son Jordan Zain behind and is riding together with Mrs. Clinton in the now famous Scooby-Doo.
Meanwhile, one can’t help but wonder whether an unparented Anthony is doing some tooling around town himself, hawking his wares out of the back seat of his very own Weinermobile.
Speaking of missing husbands, where’s Bill? Hopefully he’s not lunching on “Orgy Island” with pal Jeffrey Epstein.
Either way, wieners or no wieners, “Lolita Express” or no “Lolita Express,” Hillary must have decided now is as good a time as any to show her support for undocumented workers. And, in order to do so, she made a pit stop for lunch at an establishment notorious for hiring illegal staff.
Shortly after arriving in the Buckeye state, Mrs. Clinton slid out of the back seat of the $60,000, taxpayer-funded Scooby-Doo van and ventured – pink pantsuit, movie star Ray-Bans, Blackberry, and all – into a Chipotle Grill to address her hankering for amnesty-friendly Mexican food.
Now for those watching, that was impressive.
After all, Hillary, who hosted a $3 million wedding for her future White House advisor/daughter Chelsea, and who fancies herself a “champion” of “everyday” people, could have easily dispatched one of her minions – er, I mean assistants – to fetch her a “chicken burrito bowl, a chicken salad, a Blackberry Izze drink, and a soda” as well as an extra side order of Omega-3-laden guacamole.
But humble public servant that she is, Hillary Clinton did not.
Instead, after working up an appetite out-gassing a pack of salivating media types who were seen chasing her van on foot, Ms. Hillary must have felt that Ohio was as good a state as any to prove to America that ordering a 1,654 calorie lunch is another common folk task that, if need be, she can handle all by herself.
So there you have it. On the first “Scooby dooby dum dum” day of Hillary Clinton’s cartoonish campaign, the big news is that one of the most egocentric, haughty politicians on the planet actually ordered her own lunch.
Hillary stepped out of the van, walked all by herself into the cafeteria-style haven for illegal workers, and ordered up a steaming bowl of beany burrito fixings that was likely responsible for most of the methane emissions emanating from the tailpipe of what should henceforth and in perpetuity be referred to as Hillary Clinton’s Scooby-Doo-Doo mobile.
Originally posted at American Thinker
At Lenox Hill Hospital on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, adored child and compelling television journalist Chelsea Clinton bore a daughter named Charlotte and sycophant Democrats are behaving as if the royal family has a new member.
Surely if the heir to the Clinton throne were male he would have been named after Mt. Everest climber Sir Edmund Hillary like his grandmother, who sometimes tends to embellish the truth. Instead, could it be that the sure-to-be politically correct little Clinton-Mevinsky heir was named after Queen Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz, believed to have been England’s first black queen?
Regardless of her namesake, following the birth of the baby, America’s “first black president” Bill and his publicity-hound phony wife rushed to Chelsea’s bedside. The whole baby thing is perfect for the Clintons, who could use a fresh new prop as they get Ready for Hillary 2016.
What could be better than a curly-haired, chubby-legged cherub to steal the hearts of fence-sitting voters?
For those of us more familiar with reality, after breathing a sigh of relief that another innocent baby has cheated the scourge of the abortionist, a few thoughts come to mind concerning Charlotte Clinton-Mezvinsky’s grandparents.
For starters, the photo Hillary tweeted with Bill leaning over Grandma tickling the baby’s chin with his long, spindly, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” pointing finger, sporting that fake wedding band, was a tad creepy.
What else did grandpa do, hand out “It’s a Girl!” cigars?
Then there’s pro-choice Hillary. It’s a little unsettling seeing an abortion advocate staring lovingly into the face of the little munchkin in the pink skullcap, especially knowing that with Grandma’s approval, 3,000 unborn babies per day have been aborted since Charlotte was conceived.
Despite pretending to grill precooked steaks in Iowa, Hillary Clinton has tried to convince everyone that she is postponing making a decision about whether to run for president until after she first enjoys time being a grandmother.
Bill Clinton, who wouldn’t know the truth if it smacked him upside the head, helped reinforce that lie in 2011 when he told reporters, “I would like to have a happy wife, and she won’t be unless she’s a grandmother…It’s something she wants more than she wanted to be president.”
Earth to Bill: Grandma Hillary might have been a happier wife if you had cooled it with all the skirt-chasing.
As for the ‘Hillary wants to be a grandmother…more than she wants to be president’ codswallop, if you believe that one there’s a couple of high-end cigars recently found in Grandpa’s White House humidor for sale.
Ironically, like her newborn granddaughter, Hillary’s muse Eleanor Roosevelt was also a Libra. So, during her next necromancy session, maybe the presidential jobseeker should check in with the grandmother of 13 for advice on whether she should take on a Republican opponent in the 2016 election.
Whatever her decision, September 26th , the day of Charlotte’s birth, which happens to coincide with the day in 1934 that the RMS Queen Mary was launched, would be a seminal date for another ‘relatable grandmother’ to decide to launch her White House bid.
Let’s face it – possessing a campaign nickname like “Nana” can only enhance an already-impressive resume that includes accomplishments such as: savvy cattle futures investor; child-rapist defender; right-wing conspiracy-exposer; Rose Law Firm file finder; healthcare reform engineer; and carpet-bagging senator.
Furthermore, Hillary Clinton also bears the title of being, hands down, the “smartest woman in the world,” and besides being the proud mother of a daughter who jogged around the World Trade Center on 9/11, she has successfully dodged sniper fire and singlehandedly came up with the now-famous Benghazi slogan, “what difference, at this point, does it make?”
As for baby Clinton-Mezvinsky’s eclectic parents, they hope to raise their daughter both Methodist and Jewish. In addition, instead of Democrat donkeys, the plan is to decorate Charlotte’s nursery with elephants. Eager to save African pachyderms, Mrs. Mevinsky said she lives in fear her child will “grow up in a planet without elephants,” while the rest of America lives in fear of living on a planet run by Democrat asses.
Take Hillary Clinton, for instance. Hillary admires Margaret Sanger while advocating for children, and is chockfull of childrearing advice.
That’s why Grandma is the perfect person to tackle the Jewish/Methodist elephant/donkey confusion. On second thought, maybe before readying her pantsuit collection and climbing aboard the ‘Ready for Hillary 2016’ tour bus, which has been gassed up since the 1960s, Mrs. Clinton should just recommend that Chelsea and Mark hand the baby over to the child-raising ‘village’ as soon as possible.
Either way, Hillary is still the go-to person for parenting advice, even if Mr. and Mrs. Mezvinsky hold off for a while on ‘The Village’ idea and choose to take Charlotte home to their humble $10 million Madison Avenue abode.
Hillary believes that parents should “resist the impulse to ‘prove’ their love by showering children with things they do not need and give them precious time and attention instead.” Before showering Chelsea with a $3-5 million wedding, that’s exactly how Mom, who spent 40 years clawing her way to the top of the political heap, and Dad, who spent most of his time groping women in White House hallways, raised their little girl.
So now, after doing the obligatory goo-goo ga-ga thing and making sure to tweet out the ‘look at me I’m playing grandma’ photo, Hillary can finally hit the campaign trail claiming she’s doing so merely out of concern for her grandchild’s future.
Whether Hillary runs or not, Bill said that “Charlotte’s life is off to a good start.” The buzz is that (God help us all) the newborn could run for president by 2052.
In the meantime, with her enviable Washington D.C. connections, maybe Grandpa could start pulling some strings so Charlotte can commence her political career early with a gig as a White House intern.
Originally posted at American Thinker
It’s not news that shameless, self-promoting know-it-all Hillary Clinton has been champing at the bit for 40 years to assume the role of Big Kahuna. After failing miserably as Barack Obama’s secretary of state, now Ms. Hill is gearing up for another presidential run in 2016, when, instead of explaining what happened in Benghazi, she plans to divert attention by feigning concern for small children.
That’s right, Hillary is for the children! The pro-choice former secretary of state’s disingenuous 2016 presidential efforts will begin by exploiting children ages 0-5.
It’s basically common knowledge that Hillary is a quintessential liberal, and as Barack Obama has proven, left-wingers especially love to use children, dead and/or alive, as political ploys. For Democrats, supporting the right to abortion, partial-birth abortion, late-term abortion, and, if need be, post-birth non-medical-intervention-abortion is a surefire way to garner political points.
Then there’s the tactic of dragging a group of children out after every major tragedy in order to do things like further suppress the Second Amendment. And let’s not forget the old Hillary standby of advising parents that children are best raised in the village that Mrs. Clinton claims has recently gone global — that and turning the public school system into a place where kids are schooled to be more sexual than cerebral are what’s advanced progressives as having the kids’ best interest at heart.
That’s why, in preparation for receiving the Democrat nomination for president, it’s no surprise that Clinton is partnering with Global Motherhood and Next Generation, a nonpartisan group that endorses scientific examination of early childhood development, on an early childhood intervention initiative called “Too Small to Fail.”
Isn’t it interesting how global mother Hillary is suddenly so concerned about the early childhood development of 0- to 5-year-olds who, if they were still in the womb, she’d heartily support aborting (safely, legally, and rarely, of course)?
Nevertheless, in her four-minute “Too Small to Fail” video, Hillary, the consummate queen of didacticism, preaches at her audience in a hypnotic voice about how she plans to misuse children for political gain. She begins by saying things like “Our country’s future depends on healthy kids and loving families. They’re the building blocks of a strong and prosperous society.”
Besides the fact that our country has no future as long as liberals are in power, this is a woman who comes from the most infamous of all dysfunctional marriages — and she’s preaching to us about “loving families”?
Not to mention her daughter, Chelsea, recently bemoaning the lack of abortion services available when her grandmother Dorothy Howell Rodham was born out of wedlock. If Hillary’s sham marriage and her daughter’s inability to recognize the impact on her own existence had her grandmother never been born is the type of society Hillary is selling, America had better not be buying.
Yet Hillary the expert stresses that “raising a family is hard work and it’s important to know that you are not alone. We’re all in this together.” That gobbledygook means that the goal of organizations like “Too Small to Fail” is to further inject communal influence into the nuclear family and instruct parents on how to parent liberal-style. After all, Bill and Hill made such great choices. Never mind that Bill couldn’t have cared less about the psychological effect his adulterous improprieties might have had on his impressionable daughter’s developing psyche.
Liberals need not worry, though; the “Too Small to Fail” collaboration is not called “Too Small to Abort.” So although pro-choice Clinton is currently focused on the children, those efforts will not impose on liberals’ beloved right to kill the child who, if he or she were to somehow miraculously make it out of the womb alive, would then be promoted to the status of “Too Small to Fail.”
Maybe while Hillary’s at it, she can back that “children’s brain development” study up a few months to find out whether babies feel pain in utero and then report back to Barack Obama who, unbearable pain or not, supports abortion all the way up to the ninth month.
Either way, in the run-up to 2016, abortion fan Hillary must feel that she’ll gain political points if she reminds parents — as if they forgot — that “[o]ne of the best investments we can make is to give our kids the ingredients they need to develop in the first five years of life.”
No, Hillary, “one of the best investments we can make is to give our kids” the gift of life from the moment of conception, and to inculcate them with the belief that all life is sacred. Clearly, that concept is something you and your liberal cohorts have no respect for as you shamelessly attempt to garner political support by displaying fake concern for the little ones.
Once and for all, Hillary Clinton should do America a gigantic favor and pack up her worn-out carpetbag, retire to that village she’s constantly selling, and leave the welfare of America’s children to those who truly care.
Originally posted at American Thinker
Americans are supposed to believe that it took one full month for the “smartest woman in the world,” Hillary Clinton, to figure out that the “buck stops” with her? What was she doing from September 11 to October 15? Trying to figure out whether to go to Peru, trim her overgrown locks, or visit her daughter Chelsea for an extended fall weekend?
During the 2008 Democrat presidential primary, Hillary Clinton had quite a different opinion about where it was the “buck” stopped. Referring to herself at a rally in Missouri, Clinton said, “I believe we need a president who believed what Harry Truman believed. That buck stopped in the Oval Office.”
As we all know, Hillary never made it to the Oval Office. Instead, for four years, Mrs. Clinton has circumnavigated the globe on Barack Obama’s behalf looking like a bedraggled grandmother in need of a nap. Finally, when the red phone did ring at 3:00 am at the White House, Hillary was in a different time zone, and Obama was probably at a Hollywood fundraiser. Now, weeks prior to an election in which Barack Obama appears to be quickly losing his grip, Hillary crawls out from under the bus where Obama tossed her and addresses the deadly assault in Benghazi:
I take responsibility [for the four deaths in Benghazi]. I’m in charge of the State Department’s 60,000-plus people all over the world, 275 posts. The president and the vice president wouldn’t be knowledgeable about specific decisions that are made by security professionals. They’re the ones who weigh all of the threats and the risks and the needs and make a considered decision.”
I take this very personally. So we’re going to get to the bottom of it, and then we’re going to do everything we can to work to prevent it from happening again, and then we’re going to work to bring whoever did this to us to justice.
Why would Hillary shoulder the entire blame? Didn’t the Obama administration initially blame the September 11 murders on a band of armed rabble-rousers who spontaneously stormed the consulate and then tortured and killed Ambassador Christopher Stevens, computer expert Sean Smith, and security contractors Glen Doherty and Tyrone Woods to avenge the Prophet Mohammed over a low-budget video mocking Islam made by an American?
That explanation made about as much sense as saying that 3,000 people died on September 11, 2001 as a result of the attackers being offended that they were denied peanuts on flights out of Boston, Newark, and Washington, D.C.
After swearing for a couple of weeks that a California videographer was to blame and after testimony by State Department employees that indicated that requests for more security had been rejected, the Obama administration finally conceded that the attack on the consulate was a coordinated terrorist attack.
All this apparently tickled the hell out of Joe Biden’s funny bone during the vice-presidential debate. The vice president said that the White House was unaware of the requests to enhance security at Benghazi. From the looks of things, it appears that Vice President Joe Biden’s loose lips were the catalyst that finally motivated the White House to find another fall guy (or gal) to cover for their glaring ineptitude.
The White House responded to Joe’s latest gaffe by saying that the jocular vice president did not know of the requests because requests for security are traditionally handled by the State Department.
So nearly seven days after Biden revealed that those in charge haven’t a clue, Hillary Clinton comes to the rescue by explaining that “[i]n the wake of an attack like this, in the fog of war, there’s always going to be confusion.” Someone should tell Miss Hillary that there would be no fog of war if a powerful nation like the United States had strong leaders that fight a war to win.
Nevertheless, Hillary has decided to take the fall by saying, “And I think it is absolutely fair to say that everyone had the same intelligence. Everyone who spoke tried to give the information that they had. As time has gone on, that information has changed. We’ve gotten more detail, but that’s not surprising. That always happens.”
Umm, Mrs. Clinton, wouldn’t you agree that in this situation, it depends on what the definition of “intelligence” is? A humbled Clinton then said that “[w]hat I want to avoid is some kind of political gotcha or blame game.” So by taking the blame, Hillary shielded Barry.
At this late date, Hillary’s mea culpa sounds more orchestrated than the attack in Benghazi. Did the secretary of state also speak with Christopher Stevens’ father, who refused say who he would be voting for come November 6th, but who did say he doesn’t want his son’s death politicized?
“I know that we’re very close to an election,” Hillary explained, saying “I want to just take a step back here and say from my own experience, we are at our best as Americans when we pull together. I’ve done that with Democratic presidents and Republican presidents.” The question is whether Hillary is “stepping back” or stepping forward over a cliff.
Let’s face it: despite the controversy, Hillary and Bill Clinton still do have their sights set on a presidential run in 2016 and would never do anything to jeopardize that dream. Hillary Clinton is not about to endanger 40 years of toiling for a position where she’d finally be the one answering the phone in the White House at 3:00 am, especially just to save Barack Obama’s bungling neck before an election.
Therefore, it appears that Hillary and Bill Clinton have decided that it would be politically expedient to “pull together” with a pusillanimous Democratic president running for re-election whose “war on women” now includes running over his secretary of state with his campaign convoy.
The only explanation is that Hillary Clinton is hoping that by volunteering to be a buck-stopper, she’ll be perceived by the American people as an honest, trustworthy, responsible leader. In turn, Barack’s butt may be covered for another couple of weeks and, with any luck, those tire marks from the bus that’s rolling over her will fade before 2016.