Tag Archives: Gwyneth Paltrow

Larb Gai and ‘Conscious Uncouplings’

article-2589383-1C94A63F00000578-64_636x382-610x366After 10 years, all of which were likely grueling for the lead singer of Coldplay, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are splitting up.  The fact that they are splitting proves that Gwyneth may be an authority on vintage Michael Kors and Parisian concierge service, but apparently she knows zilch, zero, nada about how to keep a marriage together.

Now, in an effort to seem deeply spiritual and New Age-y, Gwyneth and Chris have taken to the Goop.com website to announce their amicable split, calling it a “Conscious Uncoupling.”

“Conscious Uncoupling?” Versus what, an “Unconscious Coupling?” The latter sounds more like a drunk couple’s wedding night than an explanation for an obnoxious, spoiled rich kid’s divorce announcement.

God help us all!  For the last 15 years or so, we’ve all been subjected to every one of little Gwynny’s trials, tribulations, fads, and endeavors to reduce boredom.  She’s like a seven-year-old girl who inflicts herself on her parents’ dinner guests by subjecting them to a half-hour of out-of-tune songs and tap dancing in a tutu.  The problem is that the soon-to-be ex-Mrs. Martin is now a grown woman with two children.

In addition, Paltrow’s father Bruce is deceased, and if you listen real closely, lately mom Blythe Danner is the only one clapping.

Gwyneth the Goop Girl has tortured America by affecting an occasional fake British lilt.  Harvey Weinstein drooled all over her, calling Paltrow his Shakespeare in Love muse.  After that she ventured into country singing, traveled to Spain on a cooking tour with Mario Batali, married a rock star, laid on a baby grand piano singing “Forget You” with CeeLo Green, sang “Happy” on Glee, doled out mothering and child-nutrition tips, wrote cookbooks, became best friends and then not best friends with Madonna, Beyoncé, and Cameron Diaz, and just recently bragged that at 41 she has the butt of a 22-year-old stripper!

Seriously Gwyneth, like, who gives a rat’s patootie?

Someone should inform Gwyn that no one really cares what she is thinking or doing. If there was a picture in the dictionary for “legend in one’s own mind,” it would be Gwyneth Paltrow’s.

On her relationship with the father of children Apple and Moses, both of whom victims of the ‘uncoupling’ of their father and mostly their self-consumed mother, in 2011 Gwyneth told Elle magazine:

Sometimes it’s hard being with someone for a long time. We go through periods that aren’t all rosy. I always say, life is long and you never know what’s going to happen. If, God forbid, we were ever not to be together, I respect him so much as the father of my children. Like, I made such a good choice. He’s such a good dad. You can never be relaxed or smug and think, ‘I’ve got this thing.’ That’s also part of it: keeping yourself on your toes. I’m not going to take this for granted.

So, “[i]t’s hard being with someone for a long time… life is long and you never know what’s going to happen?” Okey-dokey.

Anyway, the reason that Chris ‘He Likes Privacy’ Martin and Gwyneth ‘My Favorite Sex Position’ Paltrow are splitting is anyone’s guess.

There’s that Vanity Fair brouhaha and rumors that Paltrow has taken a lover or two, or maybe it’s not even that complicated. Gwyneth could have merely gotten bored to tears with Chris, and just as she’s moved on from writing cookbooks like “It’s All Good: Delicious, Easy Recipes That Will Make You Look and Feel Great,” now she’s into ‘It’s Not All That Good: Conscious Uncouplings That Will Make You Feel Horrible.’

Ben Affleck’s Vow of Poverty Comes with and Expiration Date

AffleckOriginally posted at Breitbart: Big Hollywood

Oscar-winning Argo director Ben Affleck, founder of the Eastern Congo Initiative, once said “There’s something really great and romantic about being poor and sleeping on couches.” So it’s no surprise that Affleck signed on with Global Poverty Project’s Live Below the Line from April 29th to May 3rd.

Live Below the Line challenges people to find out what it feels like to live below the poverty line by trying to eat on $7.50 for five days. Other celebrities have pretended to be destitute before and came away from the five-day deprivation slimmer and more self-righteous than ever before. They were also better able to say that although they’re multi-millionaires they’re willing to starve to prove how self-sacrificial they are.

Liberals are notorious for flaunting their altruism and philanthropy. Public acts of kindness often times become opportunities to broadcast how much better than everyone else they are at being caring and concerned. And while no one knows what is in Affleck’s heart, one can’t help but wonder–if raising his profile weren’t the driving force behind starving for five days, why would Affleck surviving on $1.50 per day even be front page news?

Either way, it’s too late for suffering in silence, because now everyone knows that for five whole days he will before going the farm-to-table local food pushed by his wife, actress/mom/philanthropist Jennifer Garner.

In 2011 Garner, brand ambassador for Frigidaire, kicked off the Kids’ Cooking Academy Summer Session campaign in support of Save the Children at Blue Hill at Stone Barns restaurant in upstate New York. Blue Hill is also where First Lady Michelle Obama held a fundraiser for hubby in the summer of 2012.

Despite Mrs. Affleck’s and Mrs. Obama’s affinity for Blue Hill, to date the first lady has not yet volunteered to Live Below the Line for even one afternoon.

Not for nothing, but Affleck’s net worth is $65 million, while his wifey’s is a paltry $35 million. If the math is correct, that comes to $100 million as a couple. Garner commended Frigidaire for addressing the “silent problem” of kids at risk for hunger in the U.S. by making a “$500,000 commitment to ‘Save the Children.’”

Mrs. Affleck said that “If other corporations made that kind of commitment, think of what we could accomplish.”

Maybe it would be easier on Affleck physically if the $100 million Bennifer Corporation II followed Frigidaire’s lead and parted with some coinage on behalf of the hungry kids they’re always publicly fretting about. In other words, instead of giving $1.50 million to the East Congolese–to show solidarity with hungry people everywhere–Affleck has decided to take a vow of poverty, keep his $1.50 million, and eat on $1.50 a day.

The Live Below the Line campaign website recommends that participants spend their “entire budget of $7.50 at the start of the week.” LBTL (not to be confused with LGBT) recommends that the soon-to-be-hungry do the “research and creat[e] a shopping list, sticking to generic staples such as pasta, lentils, rice, bread, vegetables, potatoes and oats.”

All of that could get confusing. So if the Afflecks run into a problem figuring it out, Affleck could always ring up “Jack of all trades, master of none,” his ex-girlfriend/People’s “Most Beautiful Woman in the World,” Gwyneth “Goop Girl” Paltrow. If Gwynie isn’t whipping up a quick and easy duck cassoulet with BFF Mario Batali, she’d probably be more than happy to come over and teach the fledglings how to cobble together Corn Vichyssoise on $1.50 a day.

Speaking of corn, Mrs. Affleck did tell Chatelaine Magazine that the Afflecks have a garden. The Hollywood supermom said that the family has “corn growing, sugar snap peas, tomatoes, zucchini, cucumber, squash. We’ve got all kinds of stuff. We planted them together.”

Lucky for Affleck, LBTL says that “you can use food sourced from your garden as long as you can account for the price of production!”

So if Affleck doesn’t go over his buck-fifty a day, he can sneak out back and supplement his austere diet with corn on the cob, grilled zucchini, and tomatoes stuffed with the recipe for Puerto Rican rice and beans that ex-fiancee´ Jennifer Lopez taught how him to make on Dateline.

In the end, Affleck will survive. After all, it’s only five days, and he’ll have his wife at his side to pat his fevered brow and if necessary, stave off his hunger with hot stone massages.

According to the rules, “Drinking lots of tap water is advised, and there’s no need to calculate how much it costs or add that into your budget.” In which case, word to the wise: if fans should happen to see Affleck nursing a glass of free water at Caffé Luxxe in Santa Monica, they should try to remember that with all the legumes he’ll be eating, it might be best to hold off asking for his autograph until the end of the week when he’s finished impersonating a poor person.

Buy-a-Brick for Barry

Originally posted at American Thinker blog

Republicans are calling it the Buffett Rule Act, but they should have called it the Call-the-Liberals’-Bluff Act.  Democrats and Republicans in the House agreed that wealthy Americans who want to voluntarily pay more taxes to reduce the deficit can “check a box on their taxes and send in a check for more than they owe the IRS.”

Billionaire Obama supporter Warren Buffett was the inspiration for the Buffett Rule tax the Democrats, led by Obama, proposed based on Warren’s statement that he shouldn’t pay a lower tax rate on his gazillions of investment dollars than his secretary Debbie Bosanek, who earns over a quarter-million dollars a year.

According to Forbes magazine, Ms. Bosanek “served as a stage prop for President Obama’s State of the Union speech. She was the president’s chief display of the alleged unfairness of our tax system – a little person paying a higher tax rate than her billionaire boss.”

The President should have spared Debbie the 15 minutes of fame and paid his own secretary, Anita Decker Breckenridge, overtime to attend the State of the Union.  After all, Anita makes $95,000 a year, and like Debbie Bosanek, she also paid a higher tax rate than her famous tax-fairness-obsessed boss.

It was Barack Obama who pushed the “Buffett Rule.”  The goal was to force millionaires to pay at least 30% of their income in taxes.

What the President forgot to mention was that Mr. Buffett’s “investments are taxed at a lower rate than salary or wage income under the theory that they are spurring economic growth, so wealthy investors usually pay less as a percentage, though they end up paying far more in real dollar terms,” which for Democrats is a minor detail.

In response, Republicans led by Steve Scalise (R-LA) crafted the Buffett Rule Act because he and his colleagues felt that the tax code didn’t need to change and that what was needed instead was an efficient vehicle for those desiring to annually contribute more to the government.

Few would argue – especially eager-to-give liberals – that Congressman Scalise came up with a splendid idea:

If Warren Buffett and others like him truly feel they’re not paying enough in taxes, they can use the Buffett Rule Act to put their money where their mouth is and voluntarily send in more to pay down the national debt, rather than changing the entire tax code to inflict more job-killing tax hikes on hard-working Americans.

Scalise’s Buffett Rule Act, which simplifies the process for those willing to pay 50, 60, or even 95% of their income, is perfect for someone like President Obama, who keeps reminding struggling Americans about how well he’s doing and often says he doesn’t need a tax break.  So he can lead the way by giving above and beyond his fair share.

The bill presents endless possibilities for pandering liberals. This may be the opportunity the left has been waiting for.  Just think of all the wealthy Obama supporters who contributed $40K-a-plate to attend Obama 2012 fundraisers.  If he wins the election, to pay down the deficit he ran up, next year power couples like Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin can send in the $35,800 each that they spent to attend a campaign fundraiser this year.

Millionaire politicians like Nancy Pelosi could do things like forego a couple of sets of Tahitian pearls for the greater good.

George Clooney, Cameron Diaz, Sarah Jessica Parker, border security expert/Obama campaign co-chair Eva Longoria, Vogue matriarch Anna Wintour, ‘Jay and Bey,’ Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg, and all the rest of the President’s Hollywood friends can voluntarily forfeit their salaries for awhile and instead of buying a chateau in France, they can check the extra money box on the tax form and send the loot to Washington DC.

The Buffett Rule Act could even inspire a nationwide Buy-A-Brick-for-Barry program where, in honor of Buffett-Rule Barack, Bill Gates, actors like Matt Damon and Will Smith, and horror author Stephen King can buy a brick with the money they’ve been so eager to hand over to the government for years.  Either that, or Tom Hanks and Kanye West can host a Stand Up for Government telethon or perhaps a Live Aid for Bureaucracy benefit concert.

In the meantime, despite the opportunity to act instead of talk, considering the paltry amount of charitable giving liberals are notorious for – like cheapskate Joe Biden’s $369 per year – it’s highly unlikely that any time soon ‘pay down the deficit’ money will come rolling in from the left.

 

Gwyneth Gives Philanders a Pass

Originally posted at BIG Hollywood

For a woman who claims to love the “simple life” and who swears she’s happiest when she’s cooking for her kids, lately Gwyneth Paltrow’s face and opinion are everywhere.  It seems as if Ms. Paltrow, aka Mrs. Chris Martin, hasn’t cooked very many chicken fingers for the kiddies lately, because every time you turn around she is either showcasing her eclectic talents, attending Barack Obama’s $34,000-per-plate fundraisers, or sharing her unsolicited philosophy from the left wing of every stage she happens upon.

Besides being the wife of a rock star and mother to an Apple and an actual Moses, the woman is a multitalented entertainer (at least both she and mother Blythe Danner think so). Gwyneth dances, plays guitar, and can both croon country and belt out pop.

After being featured singing on two episodes of Glee, Gwyneth will soon perish in Contagion. Upon request, Paltrow will demonstrate speaking in perfect King’s English, a talent she displayed at the tender age of 20 when she portrayed Viola de Lesseps in Shakespeare in Love.  Right out of the ingénue gate, young Gwynie with the fake British accent won an Academy Award and was promptly crowned the muse of Miramax’s Harvey Weinstein.

As if that wasn’t enough, nouveau Londoner Mrs. Martin chopped and sautéed her way across Italy with famous pony-tailed clog-wearing chef Mario Batali.  The late Bruce Paltrow’s little girl then wrote a Daddy-and-Me cookbook entitled My Father’s Daughter, and did so while hosting a website called Goop.com, where she subjects fans to her thoughts on everything from la fromagerie to post partum depression to how lucky her daughter Apple’s classmate is to have two mommies.

The woman is a virtual plethora of firsthand information, talent, experience, and insight. Had she only been born a couple of decades earlier, without a doubt Gwyneth Paltrow would have been the first to spin plates on The Ed Sullivan Show.

If it’s hot, Paltrow can be found it the thick of it, which must be why self-enamored Gwyneth decided that rather than opine on post-holiday detox menus, it was high time to enlighten the world by subjecting everyone to a full dose of her own brand of open-minded militant liberalism.

Beware! When liberal moral relativist Gwyneth Paltrow pontificates, she makes the über-opinionated Hanoi Jane “Sorry I didn’t sleep with Che Guevara” Fonda seem like an apolitical wallflower.

For instance, when it comes to sexuality, it’s not surprising that she’s a big fan of relaxed Biblical interpretations, thus Gwyneth Paltrow has a very “relaxed view on adultery.” Although married to a man she describes as “very nice,” Mrs. Martin effervesces when she says she “respects, admires and looks up to” role models who cheat, lie, sneak, and deceive.  Recently, Gwyneth shared her blasé philosophy on deceitfulness with less condemnation than she does when lecturing on the negative effects of sugar consumption.

Fancying herself a “great romantic,” Gwyneth Kate, the star of Two Lovers, said “I also think you can be a romantic and a realist.”  Maybe Gwyneth can add a section to Goop called “Romance,” where she can insert a subcategory wherein she outlines the dreamy aspects that accompany the realities associated with broken families, heartbreak, infidelity, rejection, and betrayal.

At least when it comes to homosexuality, Goop girl Gwyneth shies away from “judgment and separation,” and manages to also justify acceptance of adultery by saying, “Life is complicated and long and I know people that I respect and admire and look up to who have had extra-marital affairs.”

So, in response to life’s difficulties, people complicate matters even more by adding the noble qualities of disloyalty, anguish, brokenness, and crushing despair.  Moreover, life is long, and along life’s journey the chance to make matters worse arises every time an actress is in a movie like Sylvia and, for the sake of artistic expression, decides to get naked and roll around with a handsome actor like Daniel Craig.

Shocking? Before getting all apoplectic, let’s put Gwyneth Paltrow’s view on life in context by remembering that Mr. and Mrs. Martin, mother and father to little Apple, flew by helicopter into the Big Apple and voluntarily paid a couple’s fee of $71,600 to attend a Barack Obama fundraiser.

Barack Obama supporter Gwyneth believes: “It’s like we’re flawed. We’re human beings and sometimes you make choices that other people are going to judge,” and she was willing to pay almost $100,000 for a dinner at Harvey Weinstein’s place to prove it.

Judging a flawed, human, poor choice-making Obama is one thing.  However, not saying adultery is wrong appears to give non-judgmental Gwyneth a reason to judge those who frown upon extra-marital affairs.  Gwyneth believes that judging between right and wrong is wrong, and if a person does it, “That’s their problem.”  Gwyneth says, “I really think that the more I live my life the more I learn not to judge people for what they do.”

Granted, people make mistakes and we shouldn’t judge people, but the fruits of adultery are certainly judge worthy. And while forgiveness is admirable, condemnation of the hurtful choices that destroy lives is something Gwyneth should mention, especially if she considers herself an authority on everything from cooking to morals.

On second thought, rather than imposing her liberal worldview, Mrs. Gwyneth Martin, nee Paltrow, should stop trying to fill Jane Fonda’s orthopedic shoes by playing part time philosopher and simply stick to what she does best, which is to ‘act’ like she knows how much cilantro goes into Baja Style Shrimp Tacos.

Hollywood Hoping for Obama, The Sequel

Originally posted at BIG Hollywood

Barack Obama’s approval rating is presently a rousing 42%. That means the largest portion of the sane American public would love to see the first family pack up the Samsonite® and head back to the Winfrey City, famous for deep-dish pizza, Mayor Rahm, and the type of thuggish politics the head of the house is obviously comfortable with.

However, President Barack Obama’s latest fundraising report cites an “A-list of Hollywood stars, with donations from some of the top celebrities in the entertainment industry.” Apparently, left-coast liberals want to see to it that the best script reader since Martin Sheen has another shot at practicing lines on set while acting the part of President.

It’s not surprising that Hollywood is smitten with the “Yes We Can” man’s refusal to admit he can’t.  Those in the acting profession are impressed by amateurs like Barry Soetoro (stage name Barack Obama), who has proven to have a professional-level ability to make believe he’s something he is not. Heck, for a season, even Paul Giamatti was convinced he was John Adams.

What could be better for Hollywood than a President who swims around in a policy cesspool similar to the one they refuse to empty in Tinsel Town, overflowing with the squalid water of loose morals, abortion rights, angry feminists, racial indignation, class warfare and overall elitist hypocrisy?

By and large, actors, comedians and entertainers pride themselves on being pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, pro-free Mumbia, pro-promiscuity and pro-anything non-traditional. Hollywood is full of left-wingers whose “Hope [is to] Change” America into a nation where the likes of Bill Maher and Jane Fonda are symbols of empathy and truth.

The fact that big name stars contribute to Barack Obama’s 2012 reelection bid proves once again that ideological liberals lack intelligence and common sense.  Little do they know that if Obama gets another four years, it’s certain he’ll drive a stake through the heart of the nation that has bestowed fame and fortune on ignorant people who like to play pretend. It doesn’t take Will Hunting to figure out that people who can’t afford gas and groceries aren’t likely to drop $10 on a movie ticket to watch Julia Roberts fake-giggling while riding on the back of a moped driven by a middle-aged Tom Hanks in a leather jacket.

Yet, despite the inevitable looming catastrophe if Obama is reelected, according to the latest Federal Election Commission report the list of Who’s Who of Obama aficionados includes usual suspects such as Darfur defender George Clooney, Mr. and Mrs. Forrest Gump, and cancer survivor Michael Douglas – a man who would have already succumbed to throat cancer had Obamacare already kicked in.

Campaign contributors also include Schindler’s List director Steven Spielberg and wife Kate Capshaw. The Spielbergs, despite their supposed brilliance,  fail to realize they’re supporting a president whose feelings for Israel are at best questionable and whose lack of action could result in the need for another list if an unrestrained Iran eventually has its way.

Another contradictory campaign contributor is newly discovered country singer and proud part-time Londoner, the multifaceted Mrs. Chris ‘Coldplay’ Martin, Gwyneth Paltrow.  Gwyneth likes living in England better than the US, which may be why she decided to punish the colonies by contributing to Obama’s “We Bent the Air Hose in 2008 – Let’s Pull the Plug in 2012” campaign.

Also in the mix is political scene newcomer Jennifer Garner, wife to one of JLo’s many former fiancés, Ben Affleck. When not speaking before Congress on behalf of Save the Children, Garner supports the reelection of a radically pro-choice threat to the lives of millions of unborn children who, thanks to Barack Obama, truly need saving.

Other Obama star contributors include: Monk star Tony Shalhoub, the man who made OCD a respectable disorder; Glee’s glib lesbian gym teacher Jane Lynch; 24’s president Dennis Haysbert, a man who knows firsthand how to pretend to be a president; and sci-fi star (which explains a lot) Scott Bakula.  The eclectic group joins cantankerous political wannabe (who should also be in the sci-fi category), 30 Rock actor/über-liberal aspiring NYC mayor Alec Baldwin, who prides himself on being diversified in every area except liberalism.

The July quarterly report for the President’s reelection campaign touts $47 million in donations, while the Democratic National Committee raised $38 million through Obama’s joint committee. According to Barack Obama’s campaign, about 40% of the President’s record-breaking take came from “big-money bundlers” and top Hollywood heavy hitters like Rahm’s sibling Ari Emanuel and Dreamworks CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg.

Obama continues to practice governing the nation with the finesse of a jackhammer operator doing a kidney transplant. Yet, never once have Fruit of the Loom grape man Wayne Wilderson or Brenda Strong of “Desperate Housewives,” colleague of esteemed “brainstorming” border security advisor Eva Longoria, questioned the craven cynicism of demonizing the rich while stuffing Hollywood capital into his campaign coffers.

Seems that even after chastising Americans for failing to “share the wealth,” a selectively philanthropic Barack Obama is more than willing to accept the “additional income” of well-to-do Hollywood supporters, if doing so finances his glitzy billion-dollar bid for reelection that should be coined: Take two.

So once again, America is witnessing the unbridled ignorance of affluent individuals who choose to support a President who decries prosperity but has little trouble siphoning off the wealth of a community too clueless to understand who they’re really supporting and too committed to liberal ideology to really care.

Gwyneth the Goop Girl

Originally posted at BIG Hollywood

College drop-out know-it-all, do-it-all Gwyneth Paltrow is the epitome of a spoiled Hollywood liberal brat who was raised in privilege, never told no, and made to believe her every thought was brilliant. The Paltrows must have been the type of parents who handed out trophies to the losing soccer team, because daughter Gwyneth is a hopeless victim of undeserved “Good job-ism” gone wild.

An average kid with moderate talent, since her late teens, between acting, mothering, cooking, and singing, Gwyneth Paltrow has subjected America to incessant rounds of painful “No wait…let me start again,” off-tempo renditions of Für Elise followed by impromptu tap-dancing exhibitions by a grown woman who might as well be dressed in a tight pink tutu.

Gwynie (I like to call her Gwynie) is an attractive woman with the superior gift of imitating British accents.  Ms. Paltrow started her career in Hollywood when her mother, actress Blythe Danner, and her father, the late director Bruce Paltrow, together with family friend Steven Spielberg brokered a deal and got her a starring gig in the movies at 19 years of age.

An unabashed recipient of Hollywood nepotism, after winning an Academy Award for Shakespeare in Love Gwyneth was crowned the “Muse” of Miramax studios by film producer Harvey Weinstein.  Since that day, Gwyneth has been nothing short of unbearable.

Raised in Massachusetts, Gwynie moved back to Los Angeles where her career and love life with Brad Pitt took off. Paltrow traveled the world, and now speaks British-style English, French, Spanish, and a little Italian. Gwen even married a temperamental British rock star – Chris Martin of Coldplay – who she’d never have met without the benefit of a VIP backstage pass.

After adopting London as her new home, Ms. Gwyneth, in classic Madonna I’m Evita-I’m British-I’m a single mom to a couple of African kids- mode, dissed America, set up house, and practiced her fake English accent while taking children Apple and Moses to buy groceries in trendy London food shops.

Over the years the only thing more irritating than Paltrow feigning a British accent in the movie Sliding Doors was seeing her accepted as a gourmet cook. Gwyneth Paltrow even traveled with Mario Batali through Spain and lunched with Ina Garten, the “I’m cooking a fabulous dinner for Hamptons friend Gwyneth” Barefoot Contessa.

After soaking fava beans became too much of a chore, Ms. Paltrow re-focused and said “I could do that. I bet I could do that,” and decided to resuscitate her former career as a Duet singer, but not just a singer, a country singer, which right there was weird enough for a woman who spent so much of her life practicing speaking with a British accent. Nevertheless, two weeks into her revitalized singing career golden child Gwyneth was starring in the movie Country Strong.

Soon after, Paltrow showed up on the 2011 Grammy Awards singing “Forget You” with the Muppets and Cee Lo Green and vamping around in a precociously overconfident number on Glee.  Mrs. Coldplay’s routine was rivaled only by Katie Holmes embarrassing herself while torturing the nation on So You Think You can Dance.

The desire to share her varied gifts must have motivated Paltrow to go beyond her expertise in thespianism, Epicureanism, and crooning, because in addition to mastering all three, Paltrow created Goop.com, a place where a Renaissance woman could branch out, blog, and author an informative newsletter.

At Goop.com, the artiste/chef/chanteuse tells readers: “Make, Go, Get, Do, Be and See.”  The only way to describe the venture is that Goop is authored by an overindulged, self-impressed, spoiled rich kid sharing navel-gazing insights into experiences, locations, products, and ideas few people will ever encounter, let alone be able to afford.  Can anyone say “Clueless?”

Paltrow’s Oprah-style New Age views are a cacophony of beliefs similar to the Cheese Board area of Goop’s “Make” section. While Gwyneth’s channeling of Tammy Wynette, making Duck Ragu, recommending skin products from a French pharmacy, and explaining the Year of the Tiger is irritating, it is still all relatively harmless. However, her views on religion, philosophy and sexuality step out of the Christian Louboutin realm and into the downright unappreciated.

Case in point: Gwyneth recently introduced her seven year-old daughter Apple, whose name was chosen because it was “Biblical,” to the idea of lesbianism. Mom assured the tyke that her classmate, who had two Mommies, was “lucky,” after which she implied on Goop that she didn’t know the answer to the question: “What does it actually say in the bible that will cause some people to be upset by my line of thinking?”  You mean besides confusing a first grader?

I don’t buy the feigned perplexed confusion, because based on Gwyneth Paltrow’s history the query was more of a challenge than a question.  It’s likely that Paltrow has already resolved the issue and feels totally confident that, even if the Bible and God Himself doesn’t support her “line of thinking,” hers is still the right answer, because in Gwyneth Paltrow’s superior world her answer is correct simply because it’s hers.

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