Tag Archives: Greek yogurt

Michelle Obama’s Three-Quarters of a Cup of Frustration

Obamas-eating-burgers-300x300Originally posted at The Blacksphere

School officials in Carmel Clay, Indiana are now claiming that because hungry children refused to comply with healthy lunch menu options that were foisted upon them by Mama Obama (a woman who – trust me – never goes hungry), $300,000 in school funding was lost.

Just like other things in life that aren’t worth enduring for the sake of money, neither is the National School Lunch program.

In due time, maybe this particular district will opt out like other school districts are doing.  Then, besides seeing kids eat lunch again, for the first time ever educators in Carmel Clay can be amongst those responsible for seeing formerly famished American children actually weep for joy while at school.

Amy Anderson, one of the food service directors for the school district, said the first lady’s guidelines made her feel more like a “food cop” than an educator.  So much so that Ms. Anderson considered retiring early. Now that gives new meaning to “Let’s Move!” If Anderson takes the retirement plunge, Michelle Obama can then claim credit for using Brussels sprouts as an incentive for state workers to seek early retirement.

Nonetheless, another food service director for North White School Corp., Linda Wireman, explained that while Michelle Obama is free to chow down on things like ancho chile-braised bison short ribs, hominy grits, and wild mushroom sauté whenever she wants, her severe school lunch regulations are unrealistic and the kids hate them.

Michelle Obama-inspired menu choices require hungry children be served no more than “three-quarters of a cup of vegetables” – not a half cup, not a whole cup, but three-quarters of a cup.

Then, if those three-quarters of a cup of vegetables are something the children don’t like, which is the case three-quarters of the time, complaints follow, veggies are scraped into the garbage disposal, and kids spend the rest of the day with an empty stomach trying to concentrate on schoolwork.

Tippecanoe School Corp.’s food service director Lori Shofroth shared that in addition to having to endure starving, cranky kids, wasted food negatively affects the district’s budget. Although not accusing her directly, Shofroth intimated that the first lady’s plan teaches students that it’s “OK to throw away.”

In fact, so much food was discarded that a waste study involving three different schools showed that huge amounts of food including fruit, vegetables, and milk ended up in the trash bin.

Exercising the right to choose that Mrs. Obama and her husband are always blathering about, some students chose another route.  Instead of hitching a ride to the local abortion clinic in the school athletic van, and rather than endure the pain of three-quarters of a cup of lima beans, many Carmel Clay students skipped lunch completely.

The loss of lunch customers was so great that it resulted in a $300,000 decrease in funding for the school district.

Besides, the more determined students just wait it out until they leave school, and then “hop in their BMWs and go to McDonald’s.”

Amy Anderson maintains that just like Michelle Obama has been known to bop on over to the Shake Shack for a 1,700-calorie lunch whenever the mood strikes her, children in Carmel Clay, Indiana, “can stop at Panera and pick up a sandwich that meets none of [the] criteria” imposed by the bossy woman slurping on a 710-calorie Chocolate Shake.

Greek yogurt anyone?

Greek Yogurt-Infused Guacamole for Mexican Illegals

guacamole-1-300x200Originally posted at The Blacksphere

Too bad there’s no such thing as Mexican yogurt.

After hearing that Michelle Obama is planning on taking some gastric tubing to any public school receiving government subsidies for free lunches and forcing thick, protein-laden Greek yogurt through it, it got me thinking. If Greek illegals aren’t obese, and Mexican illegals are, why would Mamá Obama insist on feeding Greek yogurt to fat illegal Mexican kids occupying seats in our public schools?

We now know that Mexico is fatter than the US. With her broccoli-loving husband pushing for amnesty and beckoning the chicos and chicas to race over the border, “Let’s Move,” wait – “Vamos a Pasar” Michelle certainly has her work cut out for her.

According to a UN report, 70% of Mexican adults are corpulent, one-third of Mexican teenagers are obese, and childhood obesity in Mexico has tripled in the past decade. There are 70,000 weight-related diabetes-caused deaths in Mexico per year and 400,000 new cases of diabetes annually.

That means with Mrs. Obama’s husband pushing for amnesty and the border remaining wide open, lots more chubby DREAM actors will be trekking up the free-stuff highway into the US looking for grub.

The good news for Mexico’s healthcare system is that conservative guesstimations say that 11 million illegals are already here, and more realistic guesstimations put that number at about 30 million. So it could be that 33% of those obese Mexicans are part of that 30 million who’ve mustered up the energy to overrun America.

Among those indomitable invaders are probably muffin-topped Mexican illegals who, along with other ethnicities, are currently on the pathway to citizenship.  And if they are, illegal adipose of the Mexican persuasion will be taking up a lot of space in those soon-to-be overcrowded Obamacare health clinics.

As for Mexican illegals already here, they are well aware that Mamá Obama is policing food choice more stringently than her husband polices the border. So now is the perfect time to beckon plump family members who are migrating from rural to urban Mexico to get a little exercise and keep moving north.

In the meantime, seeing as there’s no such thing as Mexican yogurt, to deal with the gut glut about to befall America maybe Michelle can tie public school lunch program subsidies to mixing up Greek yogurt with the guacamole.

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