Tag Archives: EPA

Eww: EPA Poop Perpetrator Needs to Learn How to Recycle

smell-300x180Originally posted at The Clash Daily

It’s quite a statement when the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), the coordinator and cleaner-upper of waste, among other things, has to warn employees to please stop emptying their bowels in the hallway of a regional office.

Seems EPA management for Region 8 (Mountain and Plains), home of the Brownfields program in Denver, sent an e-mail (which to date has not been lost) beseeching an unknown pooper in their midst to cease and desist defecating in the corridor.

To deal with the problem, Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor sent a memo informing the mystery offender that “Management is taking this situation very seriously and will take whatever actions are necessary to identify and prosecute [the] individuals” defiling Region 8 offices. Cantor’s memo also mentioned “several incidents,” one of which included clogging the EPA toilets with, of all things, tree-killing paper towels.

After being contacted about the problem, workplace violence “national expert” John Nicoletti, said hallway feces is a health and safety risk, the conduct was “very dangerous” and the guilty persons would “probably escalate” their activities.

Nonetheless, above all, Region 8 is concerned about Environmental Justice, which means “ensuring that the environment and human health are fairly protected for all people regardless of race, color, national origin, or income,” and, hopefully, also includes whoever is befouling the hallway.

Secret pooper or no secret pooper, what we do know is that the “EPA’s mission is to protect human health and the natural environment.” With 17,000 employees, one of whom clearly has poor toilet etiquette, in order to green the EPA, individual regional offices must “follow best practices to implement their waste diversion programs and work toward achieving their waste diversion goals.”

Still, if the “poop bandit” cannot be identified and stopped, all is not lost because some of the EPA Waste Diversion objectives may help Mr. Cantor handle the furtive hallway deposits in an environmentally friendly way.

Take composting, for example. Since composting is an “effective way of significantly reducing the volume of waste being sent for disposal,” maybe Region 8 should plant an organic vegetable garden out back.

There is also paper use reduction, which could be accomplished by leaving a friendly reminder in the hallway encouraging the Poop Perpetrator to adhere to the Sheryl Crow one-sheet rule.

To reuse means “passing on unwanted items to others that can use them or find a new use,” which, quite frankly, if we’re referring to fecal matter, is a scary thought.

EPA waste diversion also includes source reduction, which “prevent[s] waste from even being created.”

Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, but “prevent[ing] waste from even being created” may require Mr. Cantor to ban the consumption of any and all foodstuffs on Region 8 premises, including employee-friendly Dunkin Donuts.

If composting, paper-use reduction, reuse, and source reduction fail, there’s always the option to expand recycling options to “include other materials” – emphasis on “other” – as in closing the poop, er… I mean loop, and education and outreach.

Either way, whether EPA Waster Diversion Objectives are applied or not, thank God there are regular “Clean-up Days,” where “…the Region 8 Office in Denver has routine office–wide cleanup campaigns…for employees to recycle a variety of materials” including “unwanted personal and household items” which, based on a series of recent repulsive occurrences, should now include wayward excreta.

Regardless of how the EPA decides to divert waste, what’s disturbing is that the EPA is a branch of the same federal government – with its missing emails, dead veterans, and inappropriately discarded human dung – that is also be overseeing Obamacare.

Barack ‘Corleone’ Obama – the Boss of Bosses

CoreloenOriginally posted at The Blacksphere

Michael Corleone is the lead character in the The Godfather, a film trilogy based on the novel by Mario Puzo of the same name.

In the story, after the death of family boss, Don Vito Corleone, and the assassination of older brother Sonny, baby-faced, brainy Marine Michael was forced against his better judgment to ascend to the head of the powerful New York Mafia family.  The favored-son/war hero turned out to be a cold-blooded murderer determined, at all costs, to maintain power.

In one of the most memorable scenes in the film, while the protagonist’s henchmen are about the business of massacring the newly-installed Boss’s nemeses, an angelic Corleone stands in a church and vows to assume responsibility for his newborn nephew’s spiritual upbringing.


In the real world, accusations are dogging Barack Obama’s beleaguered administration.

As a result, American politics are currently in a state of unrelenting tumult that resembles a Mafia turf war. Yet despite the many scandals that undeniably have Barack Obama’s thin-skinned, vindictive fingerprints all over them, the president’s upper lip and palms remain sweat-free and Obama’s perpetual smile projects a Michael Corleone-confident air of unflustered self-assurance.

Pundits seem convinced that the multi-tiered revelations of harassment, spying, cronyism, and discrimination are discrete incidents, all of which Obama’s envoys swear the president knew nothing about.

But, what is more likely is that all the scandals are a result of an individual in the highest echelons of power dispatching capo-style henchmen in the IRS, the EPA, the NSA, and the Department of Justice to do the dirty work of disposing those President Obama perceives as potential problems.

Hence, what America may be witnessing is the long-overdue demise of political Don Barack Obama for attempting to advance progressivism in the same manner Godfather Michael Corleone went about eradicating the Barzini family.

For four years Obama has comported himself in a manner similar to the cool, calculating Michael Corleone.  In the movie, while Michael piously recited the rite of Baptism in the Church of Saint Joachim and Anne, hellfire and brimstone were simultaneously raining down on his foes compliments of the dedicated foot soldiers he had dispatched

In the shadow of the baptistery a soulless Corleone mouthed the vow that he rejected the “glamour of evil” as well as “Satan and all of his works,” and did so knowing full well that the evil works of the devil were precisely the tactics he embraced.  It seems as though the more power Michael Corleone amassed, the higher the body count grew.

The Godfather’s award-winning cinematography provided moviegoers a potent juxtaposition of images that moved methodically between the sacrament of Baptism and the sacrament of slaughter. The film’s brutality visually conveyed the message that a power-hungry man has the capacity to assume the chameleon-like role of sainted godfather while secretly commanding the extermination of his rivals.

And isn’t that exactly what appears to be going on in America?

Apparently, behind the scenes, Barack Obama has been behaving like a Mafia boss attempting to overthrow the US government. Much like Michael Corleone, the president recited the Oath of Office, disingenuously vowed to uphold the US Constitution, and as we’ve come to find out, did so with about as much sincerity as Michael Corleone denouncing the works of Satan.

Don Obama views conservatives, tea party groups, pro-lifers, and even honest journalists as political enemies.

And so while feigning placidity, a ferocious Obama continues to fête world leaders, raise money for the DNC, bless Planned Parenthood, spout meaningless platitudes at memorials, and diabolically project a false humanity, like Michael Corleone assuming responsibility for his godson’s rite of passage into Christianity.

In addition, Obama quotes Scripture he doesn’t believe and cries over children whose lives he’d just as soon abort.

As the president’s agents of Constitutional mayhem dressed in the uniform of Attorney General, IRS Commissioner and Secretaries of the DHS and HHS go about eliminating the opposition, an engaging Obama smiles warmly, croons an Al Green verse or two here or there, and munches on corn dogs.

The problem is that sadly, what America is witnessing is neither a best-selling novel nor an Academy Award -winning movie. The man whose narcissistic personality makes it impossible for him to endure criticism or to allow his power base to be threatened is not a fictional character.

The smirking grin America is subjected to daily belongs to an actual person whose smug attitude confirms that somehow he feels justified dispatching high-class hoodlums to handle some of the more unpleasant aspects of his grand plan.

The truth is that the President views a large swathe of the nation in the same way the callous and cunning Michael Corleone viewed the other Dons he ordered his wise guys to snuff out.

Much like Michael Corleone’s goons shooting up Moe Green, under bosses Doug Schulman and Eric Holder stealthily target the First and Second Amendments and do it while the person who’s calling the shots publicly rebukes the malevolence exhibited by those to whom he’s secretly issued marching orders.

That’s why, as questions multiply and Congressional panels are established to address the imminent political blood bath, Barack Obama is looking more like the head of a crime family than an American president. And thus far, although he’s managed to remain largely unscathed, it’s becoming clearer that what’s really at the root of these scandals is a hypersensitive ideologue with an unquenchable desire to maintain and advance his power.

Thus, it’s safe to surmise that what America is witnessing is not a cosmic coincidence, but the revelation of a veritable scandal conglomerate.

And chances are, despite the smug confidence the president constantly exudes, it’s likely the driving force behind the outrageous injustices directed toward certain Americans is indeed a man with the ruthless bearing of Michael Corleone, politically executing whomever and whatever necessary to secure his position as America’s Godfather.

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