Tag Archives: Ellen DeGeneres

Obama’s last tango in Buenos Aires

Originally posted at American Thinker

Remember when President Obama refused to lay down his golf clubs because he thought it would send a message of weakness to terrorists?

Well, in response to another terrorist attack, the president again showed “ISIL” who’s in charge – this time by refusing to sit out a tango.

Unfortunately, his Argentinian partner was no Ellen DeGeneres, which may be why the president was so stone-faced.

Either that, or dancing with a beautiful woman reminded Obama of the scary look Michelle shot him after he danced with Thalia on Fiesta Latina night at the White House in the first year of his presidency.

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Meanwhile, in Brussels…

Michelle Obama: The Funeral Frowning Wench

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Originally posted at The Clash Daily

Michelle Obama is the scowling funeral attendee and Barack, whether he laughs or cries, just can’t please the woman.

For some reason the first lady either takes memorials so seriously that she glowers continuously throughout the service, or spending that much time sitting next to Barack Obama makes her perfectly-tweezed eyebrows furrow and her forehead elevens cry out for an emergency shot of Botox.

Unlike Bill Clinton, who cries only on camera at funerals, Mrs. Obama seems unaware that being on the world stage requires some acting skill. Even if the wife of a US president is bored, annoyed, or just plain pissed off at some blonde chick yukking it up with the old man, it’s best to learn how to pretend to be happy at public events.

If you think about it, the only time Michelle Obama beams is if she’s dancing with Ellen DeGeneres, front and center at a Beyoncé concert, making menu choices for chubby Americans, or if there is food involved.

The first funeral frown that was captured for posterity was at “Godmother” of the American civil rights movement Dorothy Height’s funeral. Her husband gave that eulogy, too. In essence, the gist of what Obama had to say about Dorothy was similar to what was conveyed at the 94,000-people strong funeral memorializing Nelson Mandela.

In Washington, DC, at 98-year-old Dorothy Height’s memorial, quite unlike himself, Obama had this to say about the deceased civil rights activist: “She never cared about who got the credit. What she cared about was the cause. The cause of justice, the cause of equality, the cause of opportunity, freedom’s cause.”

During that funeral, the president lost it. He cried so much it bordered on uncontrolled sobbing: 

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytorUeuZj9o[/youtube]

Michelle, doing her best Ice Princess, shot Mr. Obama a very displeased look that was thought to be a non-verbal communiqué to pull himself together. Let’s put it this way: judging from the expression on the first lady’s face, Barry’s histrionics were not going over well.

Now, three years later the first couple is in Johannesburg, South Africa, where the president eulogized the late Nelson Mandela with moving words such as:

Mandela understood the ties that bind the human spirit. There is a word in South Africa- Ubuntu – that describes his greatest gift: his recognition that we are all bound together in ways that can be invisible to the eye; that there is a oneness to humanity; that we achieve ourselves by sharing ourselves with others, and caring for those around us.

Only this time, rather than open lamentation, Barack Obama found a way to both mourn and have one helluva time as he horsed around taking playful selfies with British Prime Minister David Cameron and some blonde Danish PM Helle Thorning-Schmidt.

Again, Michelle displayed the same type of non-verbal displeasure as she did when Obama was crying back in Washington, DC over Dorothy Height, which certainly sends the president a mixed message.

When it comes to funeral etiquette, as far as Michelle’s concerned, it looks like poor Barack is damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t.

If he expresses sorrow by crying, Mrs. Obama shoots him an annoyed look. If he’s affable, smiling, and having a good time with attractive blondes who just happen to be world leaders, she also shoots him a look.

In this particular case, it looks as if Barry was given a time out and forced to switch seats so that Michelle could put some distance between hubby and Ms. Thorning-Schmidt, who got more than the cold shoulder from Michelle. The Danish prime minister got the cold back.

Not for nothing, as they say in New York, but could you imagine how awkward the plane ride back home was for G.W. and Laura? The Bushes were probably subjected to hearing a furious Michelle, who apparently can’t control her face or her feelings, read Barry the riot act for getting a little too chummy with the blonde Danish chick.

Anyway, it makes one wonder: with the look on Mrs. Obama’s face at Dorothy Height’s funeral, what if Thalia had been sitting on the other side of macho salsa dancer Barack Obama?

Sexy Snails and Other Federally Funded Priorities

imageIn order to find a way to reopen White House tours, somebody should really be appointed the job of figuring out where to cut corners.  Clearly, the $900K that was spent on the president’s weekend golfing expedition with Tiger Woods in Florida, at the rate of $74,000 per week, could have kept the doors open to schoolchildren for the remainder of the school year.

If the feds want to squeeze another couple of months’ worth of tours out of the tight budget, maybe the National Science Foundation can rescind its $876,752 grant to the University of Iowa to study the sex lives of New Zealand mud snails.  During this administration at least, finding out “why any organism has sex,” apparently takes priority over White House tours for students. But then again, isn’t Georgetown University sexpert Sandra Fluke someone who should be able to answer that question without it costing taxpayers a million dollars?

Nonetheless, the purpose of the snail sex study is to see if it’s better for snails to “reproduce sexually or asexually.”  Seems snails do both, which could offer hope for women who desire to have children but just haven’t met that special someone just yet.

Read the remainder of the article at The Blacksphere

Barack Obama’s Productive 24 Hours

Obama’s pre-Father’s Day agenda was packed with 24 hours of money grubbing and voting-bloc pandering.  Barack and Michelle returned from the “Sex and the City” cash grab in NYC just past midnight on Friday morning.  By midday, he was having a leisurely lunch with the four winners of the campaign contest ‘Dinner with Barack IV’ at DC’s Lincoln Restaurant.  The lunch was so laid-back that the President, who was due back for a 1:15 pm statement in the Rose Garden, didn’t arrive until 1:35 pm.

Obama then delighted young illegal immigrants by letting them know that they could finally emerge from diner kitchens all over America, free from the concern of deportation. And for the rest of the day, he gave his undivided attention to the LGBT community.

At 5:10 pm the President hosted a reception in honor of LGBT Pride Month, which does leave one wondering when Heterosexual Pride Month will be put on the President’s agenda and what kind of stuff will be on the buffet table for boring people who insist on marrying the opposite sex.

Nevertheless, until that special day becomes official, a military band staffed with DADT horn players performed jazz tunes at the White House, entertaining 500 partiers including newly-outed military personnel and their partners. The remaining non-military/non-homogeneous homosexuals, none of whom were reported to be wearing “I’m Out for Obama” T-shirts, were spiffily dressed just the same.

On the Gay Pride guest list were members of Congress, activists, CEO of Gay Men’s Health Crisis Marjorie Hill, Matt Bomer, star of the TV show White Collar, and California Lieutenant Governor Gavin Newsom, to name but a few.

The reception included a buffet that had a diverse display of delicious canapés.  For example, for bi-racial and mixed-race gay couples there were chocolate and vanilla mini cupcakes, and cheese poofs…sorry, puffs, which were daintily placed on tiered silver trays.

Making the LGBT atmosphere even more festive was the continual sound of the clinking of flutes, filled to the brim with bubbly champagne and served, in lieu of fruitcake or Twinkies, with LGBT gay pride rainbow cookies.

Wait – did the White House bakers really spend the morning decorating gay pride rainbow cookies? Indeed they did, and according to Steven Thrasher of the Big Gay Food Blog the colorful treats enjoyed by all those happy people were a “light and delicious a butter cookie…buttery, neither overly moist nor too flaky — with a rich, thick, rainbow colored frosting.”

It’s hard to believe it could be possible, but the event was ratcheted up a notch with an appearance from a guy who’s proved that he’s so eclectic and efficient that in one 24-hour period he hobnobbed for dollars with gilded Hollywood types, legalized illegal immigrants, threw a gathering for gays, and publicly admonished a pushy reporter.

Entering the room to the sound of cheers and applause, America’s very “first gay president,” Barack Obama, told the crowd, “We celebrate your joy at being able to come here, with your partners and your spouses to the White House.”

To more cheers, he then said that “As long as I have the privilege of being the president, I promise you, you won’t just have a friend in the White House, you’ll have a fellow advocate.” In his speech the President even compared gay struggles to women’s rights and civil rights, which was a comparison that must have been triply inspiring to any black lesbians in the group.

At that point, the only thing missing was Anderson Cooper handing out completed absentee voter ballots compliments of Obama for America and a short clip of Barry dancing with Ellen DeGeneres.

The fully evolved Barack Obama told the high-spirited group, “Americans may be still evolving when it comes to marriage equality but as I’ve indicated, personally Michelle and I have made up our minds on this issue.”

Sounding like he was still in the Rose Garden delivering his Dream Act speech, Obama then said he is working towards an America where “no matter what you look like or where you come from or who you love, you can dream big dreams and dream as openly as you want.”

Dreaming big dreams, one romantic guest named Scout proposed to the love of his/her life, the director of the National LGBT Cancer Network, Liz Margolies. Right about now, it all gets incredibly confusing because Liz, who doesn’t believe in marriage, gay or straight, said yes. Liz, who likely started out as a lesbian, and transgender partner Scout (full name: Scout), who started out as a woman but is now legally a man, which means that a Scout-Margolies union would be a perfectly legal heterosexual marriage.

Finally, Barack Obama, with his own family in tow, scurried off to Chicago. Otherwise, maybe after dealing so superbly will the illegal immigration issue earlier in the day he could have explained why a technically heterosexual couple made history for being the first gay couple to plan a marriage ceremony at an LGBT Pride reception at the White House.

America’s Anti-Animus President

The past few months have been quite a season of hope and change for America’s gay community. Barack Obama has a new openly gay social secretary, Jeremy Bernard, marriage is no longer narrowly defined as being between a man and a woman, and in the Middle East, when not dodging mortar fire the troops on the battlefield will now be mandated to participate in gay sensitivity training sessions.

Couple that with Sundance Film Festival indie lesbian family/sperm donor-Dad favorite “The Kids are Alright” being nominated for four academy awards, and not since “Brokeback Mountain” has Queer Nation risen to such heights in America.

The President of the United States, who first opposed gay marriage, then prayerfully “grappled” with the concept, finally agreed with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Science’s choice of a potential Oscar winner and reversed his puritanical view on same-sex nuptials.

Barack Obama, on an extended sabbatical from teaching constitutional law, sided with Massachusetts Federal District Judge Joseph Tauro that DOMA, the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act, is unconstitutional and discriminatory.

In an effort to undermine the God-ordained one-man/one-woman institution and further deconstruct the fabric of American society, Obama felt inclined to cross the great divide and side with Carson Kressley. In doing so, Barack personally laid the axe to the root of traditional marriage and time-honored convention.

Speaking on behalf of the President, Attorney General Eric Holder said that between 2008 and 2011 America’s nouveau-centrist President has “concluded that the administration cannot defend the federal law that defines marriage as only between a man and a woman.”  According to Holder, President Obama had an epiphany and realized:

[T]he congressional debate during passage of the Defense of Marriage Act ‘contains numerous expressions reflecting moral disapproval of gays and lesbians and their intimate and family relationships – precisely the kind of stereotype-based thinking and animus the (Constitution’s) Equal Protection Clause is designed to guard against.

In the run-up to the 2012 election the decision to redefine marriage appears to be Barack’s attempt at buttressing the liberal base, a move some conservative pundits believe is an “inexplicable political error.” Yet, Barack has survived many such miscalculations. Does anyone remember the decision to have Khalid Sheikh Mohammed tried in a U.S. civilian court?

Thus, to reinforce a recent shift to the center, Barack Obama yielded to the romantic notions of 2% of the population, disregarded the consensus of the 98% who supply the societal glue that holds the nation together and, in the form of a policy change sent a belated wedding card to Mrs. and Mrs. Ellen and Portia DeGeneres.

A President who put his hand on the Bible and swore to uphold the Constitution now feels he has the authority to decide what is and what is not constitutional. This is a problem because now, any American who clings to the outmoded idea that marriage has distinct gender roles, or who disapproves of the gay/lesbian lifestyle based on moral or religious convictions is “guilty” of what the President calls “stereotype-based thinking and animus.”

Weakening the sanctity of marriage obviously wasn’t enough iconoclasm for Barack the Centrist. About the same time that Obama gave new Dads Anderson Cooper and Ben Maisani the go-ahead to tie the knot, he also issued an edict that Pentagon officials waste no time in launching an “extensive force-wide program to ease the process of integrating open homosexuals into the ranks, including into close-knit fighting units.”

In other words American combat forces in Afghanistan, in between fending off Taliban attackers “armed with AK-47s, rocket-propelled grenades, mortars and explosives vests,” must now spend time in a war zone learning how to agreeably share a foxhole with Nathan Lane.

Army Command Sgt. Maj. Marvin Hill, the top enlisted man in Afghanistan and an outspoken proponent of ending the ban on gays serving openly in the military, said that “the sessions on respecting gays’ rights will go right down to the forward operating bases, where troops fight Taliban militants.”  According to the Sgt. Major, the plan is to “execute that training right …on the battlefield.” No unit will be exempted.

Even though 37 US soldiers have been killed in Afghanistan in less than two months and despite his enthusiasm about bisexual recruits Sgt. Hill seems unsure whether touchy-feely get-along-with-a-gay sessions will distract combat forces, which would put the lives of fighting men and women in danger. Referring to gay sensitivity sessions in a war zone, Hill said “We hope that it will have little impact on … combat and security operations.”

While “hope” continues to “spring eternal,” Elaine Donnelly, head of the Center for Military Readiness, said “it is ridiculous to train combat Army soldiers and Marines as they engage in daily combat with tenacious insurgents.”

Likely to be accused of animus-filled insubordination and lack of proper prioritization techniques, Ms. Donnelly said: “It’s absurd because the military has more important things to think about in that dangerous part of the world. For the administration to say this is more important …shows flawed priorities at best. It is ridiculous.”

Word to the wise, Ms. Donnelly – Sgt. Hill has issued a severe warning: “If there are people who cannot deal with the change, then they’re going to have to do what’s best for their troops and best for the organization and best for the military service and exit the military service, so that we can move forward – if that’s the way that we have to go.”

So there you have it.  Barack Obama’s idea of “Hope and change” rears its head again. On the military front, personnel on the battlefield hope that searching for IEDS with RuPaul has “little impact on their combat and security operations.” And change means that in the heat of battle, exhibiting sensitivity to gay soldiers takes precedence over staying alive, and determines whether a soldier will be forced to leave the military or not.

On the domestic front, Barry delivered hope to gay America by changing his mind on both traditional marriage and the sexual orientation of his social secretary. In Barack’s mind, he has brought true hope and lasting change by identifying the constitutional error in the “prejudicial, spiteful” and “malevolently ill-willed” thinking that traditionalists exhibit by rejecting same sex marriage.

Barack Obama’s revitalized pro-gay agenda, be it on the bloody battlefield of Afghanistan or in wedding chapels across the nation, introduces a new level of concern about a nation who puts gay politics before the security of combat troops and the time-honored institution of traditional marriage.  While gay America mistakenly believes “The Kids are Alright,” the remainder of the nation wonders whether the country will ever recover from the damage done by a misguided President’s progressive vision for America.

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