Tag Archives: East Room

Barack Obama the Human Flytrap

obama-fly-4

The flies-love-feces part of the equation is important to consider when pondering why it is that Barack Obama exerts such a strong pull on White House-based musca domestica.  After all, by now, most Americans are well aware that the President is full of…oh never mind.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7eQKSf0LmY[/youtube]

Kids Eat Kale at State Dinner

Originally posted at American Thinker blog

Although most Americans will never have an opportunity to attend a state dinner at the White House, it’s fun to witness history in the making by taking a first-hand look inside one as it happens.

When the Obamas hold a grownup state dinner, the menu isn’t all that healthy —think lobster, steak, and apple pie for Chinese President Hu Jintao. However, for the state dinner the first lady recently hosted for the winners of the “Let’s Move” Healthy Lunchtime Challenge, guests were offered quite different fare.

After being greeted with a kale appetizer, 54 guests/contest winners were served “Yummy Cabbage Sloppy Joes,” baked zucchini “fries,” and a salad of quinoa, black beans and corn.

Overflowing with 8- to 12 year olds, the East Room probably smelled more like the cafeteria at PS 131 than the White House.  And from the list of ingredients in some of the recipes, it sounded as if the level of hydrogen sulfide is what decided the winners. Moreover, what, pray tell, did the kiddies get in the goody bag —  Beano?

Nine-year-old Michael Lakind was among the guests.  The promising chef from Texas is the creator of “Bunny Bisque” and the “Secret Service Super Salad.” The latter entry did not have ‘secret’ ingredients but did include “chicken.” Sorry, but someone should have explained to Michael that chicken is not the best ingredient for a salad named for the Secret Service.

Nevertheless, when asked what his favorite food was, young Mr. Lakind’s rapid-fire, unfiltered response was “Steak.”  Since the hostess was Michelle Obama, Mike the carnivore should have specified: Wagyu steak.

Ever the gracious hostess, Mrs. Obama reminded the winning competitors that they were there because their recipes “truly stood out.”  The first lady said, “And that’s really saying something.”  Of course, per the liberal rulebook the winners were also reminded that the other 1,146 competitors who didn’t get the opportunity to enjoy zucchini fries were winners too.

Bubbling over with “Yummy Cabbage Sloppy Joe” enthusiasm, the first lady said winning was “cool,” and while the kids were hungrily digging into a scrumptious pile of kale chips she praised them, saying, “You came up with dishes that were packed with nutritious, delicious ingredients; dishes that are good for you, but more importantly, they taste good, too. See? It can happen – healthy and tasty at the same time.”

Not that he could even begin to compete with that pile of kale chips, but fresh off his fast-food campaign junket President Barack Obama did manage to steal the show for a second or two.

Towering over kiddies eating “healthy lunches off the red Reagan state china, sitting at round tables with large bouquets of bright red tomatoes and green apples,” Barack Obama told the rapt crowd that he had to “crash the party, because [he] did not want to miss out on all the fun.”  That fun, in addition to lunch and a concert, also included an electrifying tour of the White House vegetable garden.

Entertaining the guests with stories about — you guessed it — himself, the President said: “I’m not a great cook. I’m an OK cook. I can make a good omelet and toast. …  Let’s face it, I don’t cook that often these days, but I remember cooking, and it’s not always easy to make something that people like to eat.”

Good thing this time around Obama chose not to upset the young contest winners by suggesting “You didn’t make that,” nor did he ask them to be careful with the expensive china, but what he did do was instruct them “not to spill anything on the floor,” because let’s face it, crumbs do attract flies.

Obama politely said, “I only have one request for you, and that is try not to drop any scraps on the floor, because Bo is on a diet right now, and he will eat anything that he sees, especially some of the tasty meals that you guys have prepared.”

Instead of telling the children the dog is on a diet, for the health and well-being of the first family Obama should have told the kids to resist passing off their Cabbage Sloppy Joes to Bo under the table.  Moreover, based on what was on the menu, the President cautioning against spills may have been a polite way to ask the children to refrain from purposely dumping their plates and grinding the food into the rug.

Who knows — after hosting the first kids’ state dinner/lunch, the high level of endorsement kale, cabbage, and black beans received from the first lady could mean that at next adult state dinner, dignitaries could be dining on “healthy and tasty” Apple Oat Balls, “Triple F” Fake Fast Food, and Stuffed Zucchini Boats. Because hey, if it’s good enough for steak-loving Michael Lakind, it should also be good enough for King Carl XVI Gustaf of Sweden.

McCartney’s Classless Conga Night Comment

Nothing, not even a flotilla, sludge creeping toward the Florida panhandle or bribery charges could stand in the way of cultural Conga night, better known as Wednesday at the White House.

The most recent musical guest to perform live in the East Room was Sir Paul McCartney.  Music aficionado and world-renowned expert Barack Obama presented the ex-Beatle with the Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for Popular Song.

Mr. McCartney, still sporting a head full of hair and already four years older than sixty-four, is the third winner of the Gershwin Prize, the highest American award for popular song. McCartney is the first, non-American recipient of the award, a revelation that coaxed a “We stole you” comment from Obama, who may also fall into a first, non-American category.

Paul McCartney’s music apparently had the “White House in flames.”   The ex-Beatle kicked things off with a “rocking rendition” of “Got to Get You into My Life,” which had the East Room occupants “on the edges of their seats.” Mr. McCartney also sang the unofficial Obama theme song, “Let it be.”

Meandering down a “Long and Winding Road” of empty rhetoric President Obama did the honors and introduced McCartney. Interjecting politics into a music award venue, Obama vowed to “see to it,” that the lives and communities of Gulf residents are “made whole again” but, as usual, failed to elaborate.

Metaphorically speaking, Obama credited the Beatles with ushering in “an era of endless possibility and of great change,” but the President’s words were tinged with visionary nuances of an even greater “rock star.”

Immediately following the President’s monologue, Young Boy Barry was affectionately praised by the guest of honor.  An ebullient McCartney appeared more excited about being handed a lifetime achievement award by an underachieving Taxman than he was receiving homage for fifty years of musical accomplishment.

“Getting this prize would be good enough,” Mr. McCartney said. “But getting it from this president…” brought an adoring grin to Paul’s cherubic face.

The evening was supposed to be about McCartney but, as usual, attention turned toward Obama when Paul mentioned the self-inflicted “difficult times” the president is presently undergoing.  Paul assured Barry “billions of us … are rooting for you.” Apparently, the President remains Paul’s  “Hope of Deliverance” despite Barry’s 46% approval rating,

A liberal gathering would be incomplete without at least one Bush joke.  Sir Paul didn’t disappoint.  After thanking the Library of Congress Paul said, “After the last eight years, it’s great to have a president who knows what a library is.”

If mentioning the Library of Congress brought to mind Bush’s supposed library lack, maybe humming a few bars of “Yellow Submarine” could conjure up inspiration for Obama to address the oilrig crisis in the Gulf of Mexico.

McCartney and Obama were not the only superstars in attendance.  Elvis Costello sang “Penny Lane,” in honor of the penniless street where all Americans presently reside. Stevie Wonder did an apropos rendition of “We Can Work It Out,” for those in attendance who’ve compounded America’s problems.

Stevie and Paul serenaded biracial Barry with “Ebony and Ivory” an “earnest duet” lauding racial harmony. “Blackbird,” was sung by two black songbirds, Herbie Hancock and Corinne Bailey Rae; and Jack White, of the White Stripes, provided racial balance and musical diversity.

The evening ended with a McCartney-Obama family sing-a-long to “Hey Jude.” Maybe after Conga night Obama, who “carries the world upon his shoulders,” can persuade Sir Paul to assist in the Gulf by burning off the glut of crude oil, like a rock and roll fire boom, by singing “Fixing a Hole.”

%d bloggers like this: