Tag Archives: Al Green

Street Cred’ Michelle says Obama’s Got Swag

Originally posted at The Blacksphere

Recently, Michelle Obama granted her first BET interview to the hosts of 106 & Park, Bow Wow and Keshia Chante.

After being introduced as the “personification of grace and beauty,” writer/lawyer/first lady Mrs. Obama made a grand entrance in biker leathers as a screeching Beyoncé filled the screen behind her, jumping around to “Move Your Body.”

After informing her hosts that the Beyoncé video was her music and that on the day the video was taped there were “flash mobs across the world,” Mrs. Obama spent a goodly amount of time speaking about her youth, her aspirations, and her husband Barry’s unimpeachable swag.

As part of the interview, the first lady was shown three extremely unattractive photographs of herself and was then asked, “What would you tell that girl?”

For the first picture, Michelle shifted into her predictable ‘I was afraid I wasn’t smart or bright enough’ routine.  She followed that up with the “Failure is the key to success” bit, which is something her husband knows a thing or two about.

For the second photo, the FLOTUS told the BET audience that despite their lack of confidence, one day even they could be president or first lady.

The third and final picture was Michelle and her senior prom date, which inspired her to share ad nauseam her ‘we didn’t have much money, mom sewed the dress with the slit, I rode the bus three hours to school’ blather.

The girl in the picture also revealed that by the time the senior prom rolled around she was breathing a sigh of relief, because despite school counselors telling her that she wasn’t Princeton material and after admitting that she stunk in math and science, it turns out Princeton accepted her anyway.

Leaving all the high falutin’ Princeton/Harvard/lawyer conversation behind, Michelle “unauthorized to practice law” Obama busted out her best gangsta’ lingo and said that for agreeing to appear on the BET show, she was getting “street cred’ at home” with her daughters.

The FLOTUS also admitted, “[m]y husband has got swag. He has got a good voice.”  Michelle’s “got swag” revelations were met with cheers from the audience and questions from the hosts about the president’s impromptu Apollo Theater rendition of Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together,” to which Michelle replied:

It was really sweet. But he sings all the time. Oh, yes, he’s in the bathroom all the time just singing. He is always willing to sing. He’s like, you want me to sing now, want me to sing something for you?

Wait! Forget the “Failure is the key to success” and riding the city bus stuff.  Didn’t Obama just skip the 150th Anniversary Gettysburg Address ceremony because he was working nonstop on that notorious “website?” Now it’s revealed that while he’s in “free fall,” Obama spends time singing in the john.

What Michelle didn’t disclose was when hubby vocalizes in the commode, whether or not he wears a bandana under a sideways baseball cap.  Nor did she say if his pants hang below his butt and show his boxer shorts.

Sure, Obama has swag, but does his toilet attire include a gaudy gold chain and pinky ring, alligator shoes, and a grill like the one Lady Gaga wore to the YouTube Video Awards?

Either way, Obama’s approval rating is still 37% and sagging.

So before all is lost, maybe Michelle should use some of  her “street cred’” to insist our swaggering president up the swag quotient by spending even more time singing in the bathroom.

‘Memphis Soul’ Night at a Soulless White House

inline_SH13D053MEMPHISSOUL-300x199It’s been a whole week and America is long overdue for another up-yours, in-your-face display of Obama-style overindulgence.

This time America is getting a double dose; the White House, which is currently off limits to the little people due to budgetary constraints, is swinging open the doors to welcome the glitterati at taxpayer expense.

The name of the event being hosted by a president without a soul and his equally soulless soul mate is called “Memphis Soul.”

Red-state Tennessee spirit will come to the White House as part of the nationally essential “In Performance at the White House,” otherwise known as ‘Sasha and Malia get to meet Justin Timberlake and Michelle Gets to Play Dress up’ night.

The event was previously announced, giving America fair warning that additional dollars are about to be frittered away on bands like Alabama Shakes, who Rolling Stone Magazine defined as “down-home, dirty roots-rockers.”

For those spoiled-sports who would disparage ‘In Performance,’ let’s remember that this week, cultural ambassadorship is at an all-time high.  After all, someone up high in the government saw to it that ‘cultural ambassadors’ Jay and Bey (complete with a culturally-appropriate oversized basket weave braid hairdo) took their awesomeness to Cuba.

Cuba, by the way, is a country where in reality, based on melanin level alone, Mr. and Mrs. Carter might be bunking in separate jail cells at Fortaleza de San Carlos de la Cabana rather than touring Old Havana.

Nonetheless, joining the rockabilly ‘Shakes’ will be soul singers and songwriters William Bell and Steve Cropper.  Bell and Cropper, together with music director and bandleader for the night, Booker T. Jones, founded the Stax-Volt sound with music greats like Otis Redding.

Read the reminder of the article at The Blacksphere

Clooney’s Presidential Fundraiser: One-Percenters Living Large to Help the Poor

Originally posted at Breitbart’s BIG Hollywood

Actor, director, producer and screenwriter George Timothy Clooney – Darfur activist, serial romancer, and former bedmate to the late Max, a 300-lb. pot-bellied pig – is going to host a fundraiser for Barack Obama.

Over the years, Clooney, a committed ladies’ man, liberal and owner on Lake Como in Laglio, Italy, has proven equally loyal to Obama’s re-election hopes. So much so that together with DreamWorks Animation CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg, whose own $35 million home is currently under construction, Clooney will co-host a  $6 million fundraiser for the President at his impeccably clean 7,000+ square-foot Los Angeles home.

Since Clooney is supposedly a competitive hoops man, a basketball court on the Clooney estate is good news for the President because it means “shoot from the left” Obama will at least have a place to dribble among friends.

Obama supporters will pay $40,000 a plate – that’s right, for a year’s middle-class salary, without benefits, Clooney and Katzenberg will serve a well-heeled group of liberals a dinner that will probably consist of things like very expensive grass-fed beef, twice-baked potatoes sprinkled with paprika, and something involving $145-per-ounce white truffles.

And true to form, Obama will likely drone on at the tony fundraiser about the plight of the middle class, many of whom are presently unemployed and would do any “shovel-ready” job for a chance to earn $40,000. Nonetheless, while the middle class suffers, Obama will have no problem pocketing the $6 million that, if distributed elsewhere, could feed those suffering in Darfur or unemployed lower-middle-class families in the U.S. for a full year.

After the event, the President will justify hauling away the money in an armored truck by reassuring the gullible donors that the middle class needs him to protect them from evil-rich-guy Mitt Romney, and need him to be re-elected so he can fix the problems he’s caused over the last four years

Although Clooney has declared that he is more than willing to welcome Obama 2012 donors into his humble abode, the agreement is not without limits. Clooney, who just last month sat near the President at British Prime Minister David Cameron’s state dinner, said there is one thing he won’t do to help the president.

Clooney told Entertainment Tonight, “I’m proud to do whatever I can to support the President… as long as no one asks me to sing.” Knowing full well that Obama has a set of chops he likes to show off, Clooney could be concerned that the President, world renowned as an Apollo Theatre star/Al Green impersonator and BB King/Mick Jagger “Sweet Home Chicago” backup singer, could challenge him to a one-on-one behind the mic.

Then again, the three-time Golden Globe and Academy Award winner has loads of resources to draw on. For starters, to distract the President from suggesting a sing-off, 50-year-old Clooney could have his latest paramour, 33-year-old former “Legs of WWE” wrestler Stacey Keibler, entertain the Obama for America donors with some of her sultry dance moves from “Dancing with the Stars.” Afterwards, maybe Obama will join Keibler and demonstrate his own macho salsa technique like he did with Thalia at Fiesta Latina.

After toweling off, if the guest of honor still insists on Clooney singing, the actor can drag out videos of Darfur, and if all else fails he can pass around mug shots of himself and his father Nick that were taken after they were arrested at a protest in Washington, D.C. outside the Sudanese Embassy. If none of that works, Clooney can always follow the Teleprompter cord to the outlet and unplug Obama’s reverb and microphone.

Either way, singing or no singing, Clooney and Obama make quite a pair. Both are actors, one specializing in singing, the other in wooing women. Yet both of these outspoken advocates for the downtrodden are more than willing to rationalize $40,000 dinners to ensure the reelection of a man who claims he, unlike Romney, identifies with the less fortunate.

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