Tag Archives: Academy Awards

‘Handsy’ Joe Biden on non-consensual sexual contact

196164_5_Originally posted at American Thinker

Unfortunately, at this year’s 88th Academy Awards show, Bill Clinton was unavailable to make a public service appearance on behalf of problems associated with non-consensual sex.

Instead, Vice President Joe Biden took time off from groping women and smooching little girls so that he, Lady Gaga, and a horde of millennials with Magic Marker scribbled on their forearms could raise awareness concerning the problem of campus rape.

Joe and wife Jill followed Best Actor/green campaigner Leonardo DiCaprio’s lead and burned up tons of jet fuel flying to California.  Upon arrival, the vice president spent hours listening to liberals accuse Americans of everything from discrimination in Girl Scouts cookie sales to anti-LGBT bias to police brutality.

Near the start of the festivities, a guy with a really weird hairdo named The Weekend performed the salacious tune “Earned It,” from Fifty Shades of Grey, a movie that glorified sadomasochism and sexual control.

Two hours later, prior to Gaga angrily growling out “Til It Happens to You,” the tune nominated for the best original song from the campus rape documentary The Hunting Ground, Joe Biden informed the adoring audience that “too many women and men … are still victims of sexual abuse.”

And who better to speak on the subject than a touchy-feely kind of guy with hands-on knowledge?

Let’s face it: Joe Biden has never been known to squander an opportunity to grope, fondle, squeeze, and lovingly caress women who, when he does it, seem uncomfortable with receiving his unsolicited affection.

And while kneading various women’s necks is not considered “rape,” Joe infamously participates in a type the type of sleazy conduct that, if he weren’t vice president of the United States, most women would never tolerate.

Nonetheless, “Handsy” Joe still encouraged the audience to “[t]ake the pledge – a pledge that says, ‘I will intervene in situations where consent cannot or has not been given.’”  What the man with the wandering hands forgot to mention was that on more than one occasion, he’s touched women when “consent … had not been given.”

Despite his personal shortcomings, Joe Biden asked America to pledge to stop individuals like himself from sniffing the hair, and blowing hot breath into the ears of individuals who, while Joe is getting his jollies, appear to be visibly anxious and desirous to be released from his grip.

Take for instance Joe nuzzling Ashton Carter’s wife Stephanie at the secretary of defense’s swearing in.  During that episode, the woman didn’t utter one word, but, for a few seconds there, Mrs. Carter eyes were pleading with the new defense secretary to liberate her from Joe’s clasp.

Notwithstanding Mr. Biden’s powerlessness to keep his hands to himself, the vice president must have felt he was qualified to exhort 34 million people to change the culture so that abuse survivors never have to ask themselves the question: “What did I do?’”

Does Joe mean “survivors” like The Hill’s Senior White House correspondent Amie Parnes, the woman whom Joe, at a 2013 Christmas party, playfully hugged from behind while placing his arms in close proximity to her breasts?

Either way, Joe Biden can now congratulate himself for taking time out of his schedule to reassure the women who’ve been on the receiving end of his manhandling that they need not worry, because they “did nothing wrong” to deserve his inappropriate treatment.

And so, on a show honoring those who pretend for a living, it was apropos for Biden to get a standing ovation, because, knowing Joe, it’s likely he still managed to cop a feel at an after-party.

Alexis Carrington wears Obama to the Oscars

Originally posted at American Thinker blog

At the 83rd Academy Awards, former Dynasty star Joan Collins, aka Alexis Carrington, taught America quite an object lesson.  Okay, not at the Oscars proper, but at the Vanity Fair Academy Awards after party.  The 77 year-old Collins fell victim to “a Victorian swoon” after squeezing herself into a garment that didn’t quite fit.

Ms. Collins took to the spotlight in a lilac number that was so tight the diva passed out and nearly hit her perfectly coifed head on the carpet. This is an example of what results from being restricted. First you’re nauseous and then you lose consciousness.  Sound familiar?

The aging star’s incident is similar to what America is experiencing now.  In 2008 there was a party in the form of an election. Sort of like a political Academy Awards.  Everyone clamored for an invite, got gussied up, but post election realized the new attire was extremely unyielding.

A short time transpired and national queasiness set in, the room started to spin, and after 2 years of being squished into a constricting Barack Obama-designed big government garment, while trying to appear comfortable a pale, oxygen-deprived nation reaches for smelling salts and gasps for air.

During the Oscar show Joan Collins got so caught up in the merriment she laughed at Kirk Douglas and almost broke free in a Janet Jackson sort of way. The tight “figure-hugging purple plunge-necked cocktail dress” burst a few hooks.  Yet, rather than heed the warning, Joan did the unthinkable and refastened the hooks.

People in denial do that – they see a way of escape and instead of embracing an opportunity for liberty they refasten the hooks.

Ms. Collins, after being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance, admitted that her “choice of outfit was the ‘wrong decision.'”  How tacky – attempting to maintain an ingénue demeanor, Joan’s inability to make believe was revealed. Trying to be cool, she passed out!

Packing a person into the back of an ambulance and rushing them to the emergency room with the blood cut off to their brain is sometimes what it takes to bring the deceived back to reality. The corset comes off, air rushes in, and blood hopefully flows to the brain again, allowing sanity and reason to slowly return.

So here we are, America.  Barack fashioned a constricting article of clothing that a “Yes we can” country thought would be enjoyable to wear.  America shimmied into it, but right from the start it felt tight and ill-fitting.   Although “queasy,” we’ve lingered at the party, but right about now we’re “dizzy,” can’t catch our breath, and we’re about to “faint.”

America thought November’s limo ride would bring relief, but we still can’t breathe, because the guy in the driver’s seat is heading toward destinations unknown. Joan Collins also wanted to leave the party in a limo, but ended up in an ambulance. In 2012 it’s going to take more than a limousine to ferry the nation to freedom.  America, just like Joan, needs an ambulance.

Happily, despite the “wrong decision,” Ms. Collins was finally liberated from the lilac dress and is “in good health and feel[ing] fine” – an ending to a saga that hopefully bodes well for America.

In 2008, voters also made a very “wrong decision.”  America donned a tight-fitting ensemble fashioned by a bureaucratic socialist who deluded them into believing it was party attire. Instead the outfit turned out to be a rigid corset that, so far, has left America insensible, out of breath and lying prostrate on a hospital stretcher.

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