Straphanger Hillary sinks to new lows

2016-04-07T173815Z_1_LYNXNPEC361DC_RTROPTP_4_USA-ELECTION-CLINTON-e1460131711552Originally posted at American Thinker

Hillary Clinton is the woman who, in her quest for planetary supremacy, once dredged up an old Yankee baseball cap, stuffed it into a carpetbag, and moved to New York.  Now, in an effort to exploit that blue state once again, Hillary took sucking up to a whole new level when she boarded a subway outside Yankee Stadium.

It was on the 4 train that Mrs. Clinton found herself sandwiched among the unwashed masses.  What did she do?  Hold her breath, close her eyes, picture the White House, and use that iconic image to help her endure a trip through a dark tunnel to an uptown Bronx diner?

After living in Illinois, Massachusetts, and Connecticut, making a name for herself in Arkansas, and spending a lot of time knocking around Washington, D.C., Hillary must have thought strap-hanging was an ingenious way to re-establish her standing as a real New Yorker.

That’s why, with the April 19 New York primary looming, rather than spend the morning cuddling with her 1-year-old granddaughter, Charlotte Mezvinsky, the candidate from Chappaqua frivolously wasted precious time politicking with Bronx borough president Ruben Diaz, Jr.

Hillary and Ruben made an appearance outside Yankee Stadium, where the former first lady/senator/secretary of state told people who plan to vote for her anyway that she was “so proud to have represented this state.”

The brown-nosing politician also praised “New York values [and] the people of New York.”

Hillary told those gathered before her that “there is no place like [New York] in the world, and [that she’s] going to take [her New York] experiences … to the White House.”

Then Hillary climbed aboard a subway train, an idea that took root when Hillary’s Brooklyn-born opponent, Bernie Sanders, mentioned that all one needs to ride the subway is a token.  In response, Mrs. Clinton did not want to squander an opportunity to prove that she, not Bernie, is the consummate New Yorker.

Moving forward in her relentless five-decade schlep toward the White House, shadowed closely by the press, the Secret Service, and a bewildered person carrying a Hillary sign, Mrs. Clinton valiantly set her sights on the subterranean Petri dish.

After numerous failed swipes with a Metro card, Hillary shimmied through the turnstile and then miraculously materialized on the No. 4 platform.  From there, the woman in the $1,500 pantsuit boarded the train and pretended to enjoy riding it from 161st Street, Yankee Stadium, all the way uptown to 170th Street, where she disembarked and headed to the Bronx diner Munch Time.

Munch Time was a perfect spot for down and dirty Hillary to drink tea and be interviewed after her subway ride, because the diner is renowned for a famous girl fight that took place there a few years back.

Nonetheless, it’s likely that Hillary, who admitted that she’s been chauffeured around since 1996, headed to the Bronx after spending the night in Chelsea’s $10-million Madison Avenue apartment.  That’s why this New Yorker can only hope that while mingling in with the commoners, the former senator was treated to the full flavor of the subway, where pizza rats scurry about, shoes stick to chewed up bubble gum, and the odor of urine indelibly soaks the concrete.

Either way, it’s quite clear that Hillary Clinton endured the slimy underground experience because in Clinton’s economy, every vote counts.

Let’s face it: Hillary is a vote vampire.  The former first lady stays up nights thinking up ways to suck votes out of poor people, minorities, felons, illegal immigrants, the LGBT community, union employees, and pro-choice women.

So why not attempt to add Bronx commuters to that mix?

Knowing Hillary, she counted the cost and figured she could attract new followers by volunteering to immerse herself in a sweaty pool of culturally diverse body odor.  Why not share a seat with a couple of man-spreaders and pretend to enjoy hugging a bacteria-coated subway pole?

Based on Hillary Clinton’s history of calculated political moves, what’s more likely is that the presidential hopeful figured that if she sacrificed her dignity for a station or two and just let herself be groped between 161st and 170th Streets, she could pull way ahead of Bernie on primary day.