Tax-Fairness, At Last? A Life Destroyed is a Deduction Earned

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Tax day has come and gone, which is a perfect time for reflection. Isn’t it a sad state of affairs when a government extends benevolence to taxpayers by allowing them to deduct abortion and birth control on their tax returns?

That’s right – if a woman has an abortion she earns a tax deduction. If said woman decides to dispose of two or three unborn babies in a year, even though she’s killing three human beings she can rest assured that, kind of like the old saying, “A penny saved is a penny earned,” in this case it’s “a life destroyed is a deduction earned.”

Abortion is right up there with deductions for important expenses such as whaling, moving a pet to a new home, being a foster parent to a homeless animal, getting acupuncture and chiropractic treatment, remedying an overbite by playing the clarinet, making a medically- or psychologically-necessary wig purchase, donating a deer carcass to feed the poor, having breast reconstruction and, in some states, Bingo losses.

Also included on that list is hair removal for the hirsute and diapers for the incontinent. For children who miraculously make it out of the womb alive, there are deductions for dance and swimming lessons and childcare, but only if the pregnancy survivors are healthy.

Maternity clothes are also tax deductible for those indecisive women still contemplating whether they’d rather receive a deduction for an abortion or pocket a child tax credit.

The US government, especially under Barack Obama, is devoted to facilitating the destruction of the unborn by touting free birth control and abortion. Then, after picking up the tab for preventatives and unintended consequences, by way of tax deductions for expenses never incurred, the government grants a reimbursement as a reward to women for sentencing helpless babies to execution.

In other words, the more pets fostered or relocated the more deductions, and, disturbingly, the more babies hauled away in red bio hazard bags, the more deductions.

So there you have it. Every day in America, thanks to a system that grants equal rewards to clarinet players, wig wearers, pet lovers, and baby killers, 3,000 women earn a hefty tax deduction.

Polite comments encouraged.