The Monarch and a Morose Michelle

Okay, am I the only one who noticed that Michelle wore a white dress to a British affair just two weeks after Kate bedazzled the world at the royal wedding?  Isn’t the fashion rule pertaining to white as follows:  You shouldn’t wear white after Labor Day, or a white dress to a wedding, or what looks like a bridal gown to a function hosted by the same family who didn’t invite you to the biggest wedding since Liza Minelli wed David Gest – even if you’re bunking in the honeymoon suite?

That’s what happened when, in honor of Barack and Michelle, the Queen of England hosted a State Dinner complete with all the British trappings. To add color to the occasion, Kevin Spacey, Tom Hanks, and Rita Wilson, sans a ‘fascinator,’ were on hand to stud the event with Hollywood stars. The way the First Lady, in a flowing white ensemble with opera-length white gloves, proceeded into the stodgy affair it seemed the only thing missing was a floor-length veil and the Archbishop of Canterbury.

As always, Michelle, representative of the little people, looked ‘biceptually’ stunning in a Tom Ford criss-cross halter, bow under the bosom, full-length gown with dangling diamond and crystal earrings.  However, during the Queen’s speech and immediately following when Obama mistook “God Save the Queen” to be a musical accompaniment for his toast, Michelle appeared to be peeved, P.O.’d, perturbed and downright distressed.

The look on Michelle’s face was rivaled only by her 2009 sideways glare at the first lady of France, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy and her reaction to “macho man” Obama when he decided to strut his stuff with Latin babe Thalia on Fiesta Latina night at the White House.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZCsfyaOGdw&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

Michelle’s obvious irritation is somewhat puzzling and out of place, especially while being feted like royalty.  Could it be that Shelley was forced to walk behind an actual sovereign in time to “God Save the Queen” that caused an affront?  Was America’s First Lady disappointed when she found out she got all dressed up for a blind date with Prince Phillip, an 89 year-old “cantankerous old sod?”  Or maybe Mrs. Obama was insulted that she was excluded from the head of the “U-shaped” table and forced to sit across from Hillary Clinton, resplendent in a mother of the bride dress, and David Cameron, who may have been practicing bad one-liners for the ‘bangers and burger barbeque’ scheduled for the following day.

Then again we did find out on Cinco de Mayo that Michelle can become fierce when it comes to food choices. Maybe the First Lady was craving tamales when she realized she would be forced to endure “Windsor lamb with basil, green bean panache and Charlotte a la Vanille for dessert.”

Either way, the entire pink rose and candelabra event was in honor of Barack and Michelle.  The diminutive Queen “opened the dinner by recalling fond memories of her earlier meetings with the Obamas.” The monarch referenced first daughters Malia and Sasha, but to avoid impropriety chose to omit mention of the inappropriate backrub or being gifted with an iPod jammed with show tunes like “The King and I.”

While the Queen was speaking and Obama was breaking with protocol, Michelle, who earlier in the day was bandied about in a windstorm destined to become the 2011 version of Marilyn Monroe on the subway grate, looked totally unimpressed.  Uncontrolled sullenness belied the party atmosphere in the room and didn’t disappear even when Michelle participated in one of her favorite activities, standing with her hand over her heart during a laudatory rendition of the United States national anthem.

It’s hard to deny, Michelle’s glaring ire appeared to be focused like a laser on the guy in the white bow tie who, at Westminster Abbey earlier in the day, displayed 2008 ‘Back to the Future’ campaign sentimentality while signing his name in the guest book.

It’s all conjecture, but the honeymoon suite shared weeks earlier by the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, once it was occupied by guests of honor Michelle and Obama might have become the scene of a European-volcanic ash-induced lover’s quarrel.  Then again, there is always the possibility that the Obamas’ over-exuberant stout consumption in Moneygall incited some sort of beer-withdrawal brawl in London.

Whatever the reason, it’s doubtful we’ll ever know what caused the always congenial First Lady to look so morose at an event where her smile should have matched her sparkly earrings.  But be encouraged, there is an upside!

After being participating in perfunctory activities in Ireland and then again in ponderous old England, the next stop on the Obama European Expedition was Paris, France. Nicolas Sarkozy must have worked his magic and managed to keep his pregnant wife Carla tucked away so Michelle could do some unencumbered shopping, because when AF1 landed first in Poland and then at home, before Barry began his belated mission to Missouri, Michelle Obama sported an enormous smile.