Not a ‘Smart Alec’ State Visit

Correction – CBS Reported: The British Scotland Yard did not use ‘Smart Alec’ as Obama’s codename.

The President and his wife didn’t get an invite to the royal wedding, but “Barack Obama and wife Michelle Obama were welcomed to Buckingham Palace in grand royal style as they began their official state visit to Britain, a rare honor for a U.S. president.”

After the foam settled on Obama’s Guinness, the ‘Beast’ was released from the hang-up on the curb, Michelle finished gracing Ireland’s first lady Fionnuala Kenny with an official Queen Elizabeth-style waist hug, and Barry planted a tree in Ireland on his “there’s nobody more Irish than me” tour of the Emerald Isle, the duo landed in England.

Obama recently told reporters he keeps calm under pressure by taking some time off for “golf, laughter and travel.” This trip was a tad iffy because Eyjafjallajokull, the same volcano that forced Obama to seek solace on a golf course after he was prevented from attending Polish President Lech Kaczynski’s funeral in Krakow last year was acting up again.

After Mt. Merapi required him to cut short his visit to his childhood home in Indonesia, the President refused to let his stroll down memory lane be hampered a second time by molten ash.  So, despite the Icelandic volcano that seems to erupt whenever Obama enters European airspace, the President managed to circumvent danger, spend some time in his ancestral home of Ireland, and land in Britain to the delight of the British royal family.

After being warmly greeted by Queen Elizabeth and her husband Prince Phillip, who gave the couple a “private tour of the palace…the two couples emerged on the palace steps for a 41-gun salute,” executed with guns not provided by the United States Justice Department.

The “Ranks of Scots Guards in red jackets and tall hats stood at attention, then played the Star-Spangled Banner in honor of the American president and his wife,” a tune that recently became one of Michelle’s all-time favorites.

While at Buckingham Palace, lovebirds Michelle and Barry will experience the romance of the wedding they missed by spending “two nights at the palace as guests of the queen, staying in a six-room suite last used by Prince William and Kate Middleton on their wedding night.”

While it is uncertain what embarrassing snack faux pas took place the last time the Obamas visited, this time the couple was forewarned “Not to turn their back on [Elizabeth], and to finish enjoying any snacks or tea as soon as the queen takes her last bite.”

While in the UK the Obamas will also frolic a bit with Prime Minister David Cameron. Mrs. Cameron, Samantha, and Shelly will host a barbecue for British and American military veterans.  Plans are for Barry and David to get in touch with their inner Bobby Flay and don aprons to serve burgers and bangers.

As always, Barack’s safety will be at the top of the list of concerns for Scotland Yard.  In order to ensure that America’s ‘Wild Colonial Boy’ is kept safe, British police did not assign Obama the codename “Chalaque” as was implied according to Indarjit Singh, a Punjabi speaker in the UK who is director of the Network of Sikh Organizations, who said ‘Chalaque’ is a word that “is sometimes used when we want to denigrate someone who we think is too clever for their own good.”

It is comforting to know that if Barack Obama, somehow manages to be swallowed up by an adoring English throng, British security can always locate his whereabouts by listening for the guy with the Irish brogue.