‘B’roke O’Bama’ Goes to Moneygall

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For those Americans who felt it was odd when Michelle turned the water in the fountain on the South Lawn green, finally there’s a plausible explanation – Mrs. O’Bama was paying homage to her husband’s Green Isle heritage.

Barack Obama wasn’t kidding when he called himself a “global citizen.” Obama is a native “son of Kegolo Kenya,” has a childhood home in Indonesia and a birth certificate in Hawaii. Barack accomplished the historic goal of becoming the first African-American President of the United States and was somehow able to convince the Irish people he’s Irish.

Planning a state visit to the United Kingdom, like Kunta Kinte returning to his “Roots” Obama will land together with his wife Michelle, very possibly dressed in an Irish folk/Celtic Revival costume, in Dublin with plans to trace his Gaelic heritage to Moneygall in County Offaly.

That’s Moneygall, not ‘Money Gal’ as in Michelle, and Offaly, not ‘awfully,’ as in “it’s awfully hard to believe Obama’s Irish.”

After participating in “diplomatic engagements in Dublin,” the President, whose “great-great-great-grandfather Falmouth Kearney was a shoemaker and lived in the rural village,” will grace the cobble stone streets accompanied by Michelle in a pair of designer shoes that would do Grandpa Kearney proud.

The only thing stranger than Barry’s leprechaun connection is the belief that “B’roke O’Bama,” whose presidency thus far has contributed to the decimation of the greatest economy on the face of the earth, will give a “boost to the country amid all its economic woes” by paying a visit to the Emerald Isle.  Maybe the Ireland trip will start a “Luck o’ the Irish” trend and continue after AF1 touches down at home.

In preparation for the visit, “The entire village has received a fresh coat of paint, with one resident going as far as to paint the American flag on the front of his home… pavements have also been replaced and fresh flowers are being planted in doorways,” which is thoughtful as long all the crucifixes are covered.

With Obama’s reputation for international dance prowess, during the short visit there’s a good chance the couple will break out the ghillies and join in a spontaneous performance of River Dance.

In anticipation of the visit, besides selling posters and T-shirts, “Some have a picture of the president holding a pint of Guinness, one simply says: ‘What’s the craic Barack?’” – pronounced “crack,” and in Obama’s case that means “youthful fun.”

According to the proud owner of the Moneygall pub, home of the Barry O’Bama bust, “There’s…a kind of a feeling of something unreal happening because we just never imagined this would happen in anyone’s lifetime and it’s a huge thing.” As we say here in America, “Tell me about it.”

Obama’s cousin Henry Healy “traced a family connection” to Obama and is proud to say he is Barry O’s eighth cousin. Henry is looking forward to shaking his relative’s hand and probably didn’t realize it, but in one sentence he summed up the total desperation of the American people since Barack Obama was elected President when he said, “It’s always been surreal but … it is becoming more and more of a reality.

“This visit is not only about celebrating a seemingly unlikely family history,” with a strong emphasis on the “seemingly unlikely,” but for the Irish it’s “about giving a rural village and a country a much needed boost” from a president who, while busy enhancing Ireland, continues to transform America into a literal “Land of Ire.”

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