Uninvited Wedding Watchers

The Obamas were probably disappointed when they realized that the pile of the world’s most coveted wedding invitations didn’t include one with 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue embossed on the front of the envelope.

When visiting England in 2009, Michelle broke with protocol and gave the Queen of England an impromptu back rub.  According to the British press “It was an electrifying moment of palpable majesté: A breach of centuries-long protocol when the friendly and outgoing Michelle Obama put her arm round the Queen.”

In addition, the First Lady carefully chose and loaded videos, queenly travelogue photos, and show tunes, including the very appropriate ‘Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend,’ onto an IPod to give to the technologically savvy 85 year-old Queen.  Not only that, but in lieu of tossing the bust of Briton Winston Churchill headlong into a box, the Obamas took the time to swathe the sculpture in bubble wrap before shipping the Prime Minister back to Britain.

And for what? One would think that all the extra effort would have ensured the first couple a seat between Posh Spice and Elton John at the royal wedding ceremony.

Then again, after hearing the President doesn’t frequent church to avoid disrupting churchgoers, maybe the royal family didn’t want Kate and Wills to be eclipsed by a higher profile couple igniting the Abbey with excitement on their special day. Instead, second only to the bride and Beatrice, Queen Elizabeth II stole the show dressed in Tweety Bird yellow.

The Obamas may not have been “invited to the royal wedding,” but if White House press Secretary Jay Carney isn’t being disingenuously diplomatic, then the President “didn’t miss it.” After recovering from the crushing blow of a rejection surpassed only by the Syrian Ambassador being invited and then disinvited, Barry and Shelley politely accepted being relegated to the ranks of regular folk watching the nuptials on TV.

According to Carney, the President “watched some of the wall-to-wall television.”  Thanks to Jay giving America an intimate view into the President’s sentimental nature, the world got a rare glimpse of a side of Obama never before seen.

If the President purposely set the alarm clock so as to not miss the wedding, that means the usually dispassionate Barack Obama, deep down inside, is really a hopeless romantic.

The British wedding gala started around 6:00 am EST. If Barry wanted to catch a glimpse of the soon-to-be Duchess of Cambridge’s dress, that would mean he’d have to be plopped down in front of the boob tube with his bowl of Wheaties® at the crack of dawn.

Carney didn’t mention where Michelle was while Barry was caught up in the pomp and ceremony. Even after finding out Mr. Bean, Madonna’s ex Guy Ritchie, recording artist Joss Stone, and maybe even Kanye West were invited, rumor has it that the “Obamas didn’t seem to harbor any hard feeling about not scoring an invite to Will and Kate’s big day.”

Missing the opportunity to wear “Kenya,” a hat even more fascinating than Princess Bea’s, and prior to knowing she’d be in the colonies on the day of the wedding, First Lady Michelle Obama told Regis and Kelly Rippa, “Marriage is a personal, private thing. They should invite who they want to invite.”

Seems the couple took Michelle’s advice, because neither she, Barry, nor renegades like the Duchess of York were amongst the 1,900 who received a gold-gilded invite.

Nevertheless, prior to the festivities, Michelle must have secretly thought she’d be one of dignitaries panned by the camera singing the hymn “Jerusalem” out of sync, because she added, “And if I get invited, I’ll go.”

Clearly, Michelle had no idea she’d be left off the guest list and was as shocked as anyone to find herself watching the ceremony with the President, eating cold cereal in a nightgown and slippers, and in all probability wearing that fabulous never-to-be-seen British-inspired “fascinator” balanced proudly atop her head.