It is comforting to know that even though registered sex offenders may show up at your door wearing Census 2010 credentials, at least Americans can rest easy in the knowledge that, if flying, Homeland Security is profiling potential terrorists like six-year old Alyssa Thomas.
Little Miss “no-fly list” Alyssa found out she was under Big Sis and DHS surveillance when she and parents, Doctor and Mrs. Thomas, boarded a Continental Airlines flight from Cleveland to Minneapolis.
The ticket agent at Hopkins Airport alerted the family that Alyssa was on the TSA “no-fly list.” The Transportation Security Administration, which has also been known on occasion to hire felons, employs airport security personnel to identify potential terrorists before they board the airplane.
Upon being informed the little girl was on the list Dr. Santhosh Thomas said, “Okay, what’s the story? What do we have to do to get off the list? This isn’t exactly the list we want to be on.”
A perplexed Dr. Thomas admitted, “We were, like, puzzled. I’m like, well, she’s kinda six-years-old and this is not something that should be typical. She may have threatened her sister, but I don’t think that constitutes Homeland Security triggers.”
A census worker raped and bludgeoned a handicapped woman in Indiana after getting a job working for the same federal government that put a first grader on the terrorist “no-fly” list, and these people want to run national health care?
If translated into health care oversight, hiring a registered sex offender to canvass neighborhoods while targeting a six-year-old as a potential terrorist would be like choosing to remove a benign mole and leaving behind a cancerous tumor.
Alyssa’s Dad claimed, “She’s been flying since … two months-old.” In fact, the family recently traveled to Mexico, and “there were no issues at that time.”
Not so fast, doctor!
According to the Transportation Security Administration, Alyssa never had any problems before because the Secure Flight Program just began in June for all domestic flights. Spokespersons will only say, “The watch lists are an important layer of security to prevent individuals with known or suspected ties to terrorism from flying.”
Thank God Janet Napolitano is ramping up that extra layer of domestic flight security. Why waste time addressing scores of terrorists coming over the border when you can halt a mother lode of suspicious six-year olds in tutus from boarding domestic flights.
In the end, the Thomas family did fly to Minneapolis where they planned to contact DHS to “clear up the matter.”
In the meantime, Alyssa’s “name will likely stay on the list and as for the next time she flies.” Not to worry, the FBI said that in the future, anytime little Alyssa and her Barbie doll take a domestic flight the DHS will “rely on the common sense of the security agents,” hired by the same government agency that put Alyssa on the “no-fly list” to begin with.