Memorial Day weekend was poised to kick into high gear when perpetual vacationer Barack Obama decided to helicopter over the Louisiana bayou toward the Port Fourchon shoreline. Barack’s pre-vacation goal was to check out beach damage related to the Gulf coast oil spill.
Unfortunately, as British Petroleum struggled to “plug the hole,” crude oil continued to flood into the Gulf of Mexico. The “top kill” process is a familiar one. In fact, “top kill” methodology should have forewarned BP engineers that addressing problems, from the top down, Obama-style oftentimes delivers disastrous results.
BP expressed hesitancy to forge ahead with the “brute force” approach because of fears that “things could get worse.” Smart decision, especially since “Barack force” compounds political damage daily.
The sun must have been hot on Fourchon beach because, in a moment of candor, Barack made a comment about government’s response to the oil spill saying ” not every judgment we make will be right the first time out,” which actually could be applied to all government efforts.
Continuing on, the President added, “There are going to be a lot of judgment calls here. There are not going to be silver bullets or perfect answers.”
For a second there it was hard to tell if Obama was talking about personal governing efforts, or administration of BP “top kill” technique.
Later in the day, an official acknowledged something Obama has yet to admit about his first two years in office, “The effort [is] no closer to succeeding than when [it] started.”
Doug Suttles, BP’s chief operating officer for exploration and production said, “We’re going to stay with this as long as we need to. We’re not going to rush.” One hopes Obama wasn’t within earshot of Suttle’s statement. The last thing America needs is Barry getting the idea to readjust term limit restrictions.
Obama appeared very comfortable walking the beach. Especially because BP, in addition to “top kill,” also employs a method called the “junk shot.” “Junk shot” works similarly to the Obama administration where “in the operation’s control room” trial and error is used to “sift through various theories… about the best way to clog the ‘internal geometry’ of damaged equipment.”
Good thing BP officials decided to mix golf balls with mud to “plug the hole,” which likely made Obama feel at home. It wouldn’t have gone well if the President personalized certain comments to be sentiments about his presidency. Like, “I won’t say progress was zero” but, “everyone is disappointed at this time.” Or, Doug Suttle’s statement that, “Many of the things we have done have never been done before.”
Unbeknown to Mr. Obama, the President spoke prophetically about both the leak and the nation adding, even if the leak is stopped “we face a long-term recovery and restoration effort. America has never experienced an event like this before.”
Mr. Obama also said, “I ultimately take responsibility for solving this crisis. I’m the president, and the buck stops with me” –which is a scary thought in light of all that Obama “top kill-junk shots” have done to this country.
After finishing the Gilligan-style, 3-hour beach tour Obama commenced with weekend festivities. Leaving behind tar balls on the sand of Louisiana, President Obama headed toward Elwood Cemetery in River Grove, Illinois. On Monday, after Memorial Day commemorative ceremonies Elwood could be the place to provide the President a green where a committed golfer like Barack Obama could get a chance to knock around a few golf balls.