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Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” healthy initiative was in danger of being derailed by a recent obesity study. According to U.S. researchers it seems “a variant of an obesity gene carried by more than a third of the U.S. population also reduces brain volume, raising carrier’s risk of Alzheimer’s disease.”
Just when Michelle Obama was on the precipice of infiltrating candy machines, public school cafeterias and having her edifying picture on every bag of Doritos, out comes a study that blames the obesity epidemic on DNA. The study purports one third of Americans have the genetic makeup that curses them with a proclivity to be portly. Lo-and- behold thirty-three percent is exactly the number the Center for Disease Control claims makes up the 1/3rd chunkier demographic in America.
People with the FTO gene, a variant of the fat mass and obesity also suffer from brain deficits, which may make it hard to discern between a Happy Meal and a McDonald’s, Quarter-pounder with cheese.
The result is that a prevalent gene not only adds inches to your waistline, but brain scans of more than 200 people “found consistently less tissue in the brains of people who carry the ‘bad’ version of the FTO gene compared to non-carriers.”
Now if the FTO link between small brains and abundant adipose is valid, the FLOTUS could use the opportunity to provide a public service by suggesting to Democrat voters that it may be more considerate to purchase two seats, when flying Jet Blue to Barbara Boxer rallies.
On average, people with the obesity variant of the FTO gene had 8 percent less tissue in their frontal lobes – sometimes referred to as the brain’s ‘command center.’ They also had 12 percent less tissue in their occipital lobes, which is part of the brain that processes vision and other perceptions.
Michelle’s campaign could work around the 8% deficiency by reminding people that ideally Washington DC should be called “Command Central.” Doing so would eliminate the need for frontal lobes by ensuring orders issued directly from Obama to pudgy and svelte Americans alike.
As for occipital lobe insufficiency, visual problems and false perceptions could make one think they ingested a multi-grain bagel, when in fact it was an entire lemon meringue pie. Yet both Michelle and Barry maintain false perceptions and obscured sight are beneficial and should not be discouraged at this time.
Luckily for the First Lady, “added brain risk means it’s more important for FTO gene carriers to eat a low-fat diet and exercise regularly.” Well thank God, because 300-million government subsidized hula-hoops are not something that can easily be returned for store credit.
In fact the Amish, who famously participate in barn raisings, and also have the FTO risk gene, “weigh about the same as non-carriers, suggesting physical activity overcomes genetic predisposition to obesity” The Amish component of the study has potential to further inspire community-minded Michelle to recommend Americans diminish girth by way of horse and buggy travel, and do so while simultaneously cutting down on CO2 emissions.
The study proposes, “In all the maelstrom of activities you do, exercise and a low-fat diet are genuinely saving your brain,” in addition to sparing most people extra poundage, as well as insuring “Let’s Move” Michelle will likely be sharing organic gardening tips and Brussels sprout smoothie recipes throughout the summer.
The informative study ultimately serves to support the First Lady’s cause. Nonetheless Mrs. Obama should exercise extreme caution when making recommendations. Why? –Because if diet and exercise prevent brain shrinkage, Michelle’s healthy lifestyle crusade could end up costing Barack and the Democrats the next two elections.