Studly Super-Hero Scott Brown

Why should angry liberal women have all the eye candy in Chuckie Schumer (D-NY) and Dickie Durbin of Illinois? For middle-aged women Massachusetts is becoming the go-to state when it comes to good-looking politicians.

What could be better than a Conservative man winning a senate seat in a liberal state?  Why, it’s having that Conservative man be a hunk, and that hunky man is Scott Brown (R-Ma).

For starters what woman, besides Janet Napolitano, would dare argue Mitt Romney is hard on the eyes?  Mitt is strong, self confident, self-assured, articulate, a loving husband and father, a dyed in the wool Conservative and an amazingly gorgeous man from the home state of besotted blimp Teddy Kennedy.

Following in Romney’s elegant  footsteps, America now has comely Scott Brown about to trounce Democrat Attorney General, Martha Coakley and Independent, Joe Kennedy for the U.S. Senate seat formerly occupied by a recently expired, end-stage blow fish.

It is undeniable — Scott is a looker and more than that Brown is not wishy-washy about Conservative convictions (be still my beating heart).  As a result, and in the words of another great Massachusetts politician John Hancock, “[d]espite the Democrats’ rhetoric and money, they have been unable to gain ground.”

During a recent debate, Scott Brown’s opponent Martha Coakley looked a tad uncomfortable.  It seems the beads of sweat along her upper lip were not from hot lights, a rapt audience or  moderator David Gergen – it was Scott Brown. The menopausal nightmare couldn’t keep her eyes off the poor guy.  Don’t be fooled by the turtleneck and pearls, Coakley kept leaning back, pretending to cough, checking her opponent from the rear. No wonder Martha [Not Going to] Washington, spelled Massachusetts wrong and is shaky on facts, believing all the terrorists in Afghanistan have left the premises–the woman is smitten and is having trouble stringing together a coherent thought.

During the Brown/Coakley debate Scott, like a knight in shining armor, responded to David Gergen’s pugnacious question about blocking health care by saying,”With all due respect, it’s not the Kennedy’s seat, it’s not the Democrats’ seat, it’s the people’s seat.

A stunned Coakley struggled to maintain composure and successfully avoided swooning behind the podium.  If the debate had gone on any longer the Attorney General would have come dangerously close to losing all dignified restraint and in front of the audience reduced herself to re-enacting the V-J Day kiss in Times Square by ravishing Scott Brown.

Let’s face it, Scott Brown would be quite a change from a bloated, drunken philanderer like  late Teddy Kennedy.  I’m not sure, but I don’t remember Teddy K. ever appearing as a centerfold in Cosmo. If I recall correctly neither has Congressmen Anthony Weiner (D-NY),  another ruggedly handsome liberal stud muffin.

If American women had been unfortunate enough to have Kennedy grace Cosmo’s centerfold,  the  porcine politician edition would have been relegated to the annals as a non-starter, and promptly sent to Fulton Fish market fish mongers as high-end wrapping for blue fish.

Scott Brown, on the other hand, has hardly changed in twenty-eight years.  In a Senate filled with the likes of (G_d bless) Joe Lieberman and Harry Reid– Scott Brown, who identified himself way back then as “a bit of a patriot,” could be a Mel Gibson movie double in Patriot II: The Obama Years.

Hopefully, stunning Scott will stay in politics.  The antithesis of  Kennedy, Scott Brown deplores wasteful government spending and higher taxes – What?  The man is pro-family and opposes federal funding for abortion — Gulp.  Scott believes in the free-market and the strength of the American people to drive prosperity in the country – Something is terribly wrong here!

Scott believes in small government, low taxes and has commented that Obama’s fiscal debt is “immoral.”  The Massachusetts State Senator is opposed to one-party rule and government run health care.  Scott Brown believes in a strong military to ensure national security here and abroad. And we’re supposed to believe this man is from Massachusetts?

Senator Brown is a member of the National Guard  serving in the rank of Lt. Colonel in the JAG Corps for thirty years.  He won the Army Commendation Medal for meritorious service following September 11th and served 3 terms as a State Senator.

Brown has steadily closed the gap in the polls and is in a statistical tie with Martha Coakley.  In response, the Attorney General has comported herself like a spurned teenage girl by running attack ads against Brown.  Martha is behaving like Tracy Flick in the movie Election. It seems the AG is under the impression Kennedy’s  senate seat was rightfully bequeathed to a Democrat and the thought of losing the election has Coakley stamping her feet and tearing down Scott Brown posters all over Boston.

Coakley misspelled Massachusetts – “Massachusettes” but might as well have written REDRUM inside Brown’s locker after study hall.  The Attorney General of Massachusetts is flummoxed, while the fetching captain of the football team remains cool as a cucumber.

Presently, our nation  is  a tied-up damsel in distress, anticipating being run over by the liberal, health care train making its way down the tracks.  Not to worry,  our very own Dudley Do-Right is on the way.  On January 19th  it looks as if Scott Brown may be called on to save the nation by wresting Snidley Whiplash power from the policy villain abiding in the White House.

Scott Brown could be the super-hero America needs to administer the final death knell to Teddy’s policy legacy.  Residents of the “Bay State” are on the precipice of driving the Teddy Kennedy health care memorial off a bridge in Chappaquiddick and letting a murderous memory  expire under the frigid water as Teddy did the late Mary Jo Kopechne.

The election in Massachusetts presents voters with an opportunity to rescue America from Teddy Kennedy’s liberalism influencing our lives from beyond the grave.  Brown winning the election would give new meaning to the Massachusetts mottoEnse petit placidam sub libertate quietem,” which means, “By the sword we seek peace, but peace only under liberty.”

If the polls are correct and Massachusetts Conservatives turn out en masse to vote, a wholesome Conservative will replace the corpulent-debauchee socialized-medicine mascot.  In the process, the  “we the people” Scott Brown also appears to have the will to prevent a band of left-wingers in Washington DC from forcing on America what even most liberal Massachusetts voters vehemently reject.

If Scott Brown wins next Tuesday and acquires a seat in the U.S. Senate the victory result will be a referendum on the forthcoming 2010 election.  And, as an added bonus, Scott Brown will provide America with a handsome hero that liberal babe magnet  Stuart Smalley aka,  Al Franken (D-Minn), wouldn’t dare prevent from speaking on the Senate floor, or prohibit singing of  All Hail Massachusetts.