There is no greater conservative warrior than Rush Limbaugh. Although Rush calls himself a “harmless loveable little fuzz ball” reality is Rush is a conservative male version of martial arts fighter, Beatrix Kiddo in the epic-length revenge drama, Kill Bill.
Rush Hudson Limbaugh is a political assassin on the job for the Right. The “Dr. of Democracy’s” skill and adept insight gives “El Rushbo” the ability to pick off the enemy with words that cut deeper and sharper and more to the core than a crafted sword. Rush’s wit, intellect and ability to articulate truth are as sharp as a rhetorical Hattori Hanzō Katana! When Rush speaks it is, “… alive and powerful… sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow…exposing the innermost thoughts and desires of liberal minds.”
As a result, liberals wish Rush ill. As far as Limbaugh’s political enemies were concerned, like Beatrix Kiddo, the radio king might as well be in a vegetative coma and one step from being officially declared DOA.
Yet, like Beatrix, each time Rush appears lifeless –the conservative leader awakens prepared to take on the enemy stronger than ever before. Rush Limbaugh is unstoppable. On more than one occasion “Mount Rushbo” has dragged himself from a controversy coma or health care scare back to the “Golden Microphone” and behind the EIB Institute plinth.
The left’s Deadly Viper Squad has stood over Rush’s body on more than one occasion convinced “America’s Truth Detector’s” demise was imminent. Instead Rush, like Kiddo, dupes the best of them. Shot through the head, “El Rushbo” disarms the enemy. Rush opens one eye, spits out a mouthful of blood and says to those snickering over his demise things like, “You know I have always tried to be honest with you and open about my life…I need to tell you today that part of what you have heard and read is correct. I am addicted to prescription pain medication.”
At times Rush, like Beatrix Kiddo, has had to slowly wiggle one toe at a time to get back up to speed. Profound hearing loss from an autoimmune disease…Rush slowly wiggled a toe, got a cochlear implant, and was back on the air. Wrenching back pain ensnared Rush in Oxycontin addiction, again wiggling a toe he meekly submitted to rehab. Much to the chagrin of Rush’s enemies, “America’s Anchorman” weakened by personal trial returned from an Arizona rehab, humbler, stronger and fitter for the fray.
Rush is presently in the brawl of a lifetime and it isn’t the one being waged in a Honolulu Hospital. Since Obama’s election Democracy’s doctor fights daily to reestablish Conservativism and Constitutional purism, fidelity and adherence to foundational principles. Rush’s mission is to eradicate the “Bull” of liberalism–anticipating an opportunity being presented to administer a Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique on the left, which Beatrix employed to take out the Bill of Kill Bill.
Day-by-day Rush inches closer to stopping the beating heart of liberalism, but in the meantime, there are still some political barriers that must be systematically done away with.
Washington DC is Rush’s Tokyo, Japan. On a daily basis Limbaugh cerebrally enters The House of Blue Leaves where O-Ren Ishii Bama unleashes Gogo Gibbs, Rham Fatale and the Congressional Crazy 258 and Senate 58. Rush stands poised in a fighting stance to deal with Obama’s unrelenting bunch of hooligans. As O-Ren Ishii Bama watches from the balcony, Limbaugh makes short work of every argument and political absurdity, hacking off policy limbs like Beatrix Kiddo dispensing an army of henchmen.
Reminiscent of Vernita Green’s four-year-old daughter, Nikki Bell the liberal left stares blankly as Washington’s leaders pour political Fruit Loops into a bowl from a box with a gun in it. Rush dodges every bullet, as biased toddlers stand wide-eyed as the “Prestigious Attila the Hun,” yields the “Limbaugh Doctrine,” making short work of a bloated, encroaching governmental Mommy.
In the movie Kill Bill, ex-Deadly Viper assassin Budd retired to a broken down trailer and took up as a bouncer. Under close scrutiny, Democrats display the characteristics of Budd, laden down and inebriated with political power. “Dingy Harry,” the “Banking Queen” and “Bela Pelosi” are washed up politicians knocking around the halls of power intoxicated with a sense of supremacy. Budd was viciously done in by Elle Driver and from the looks of the Democrat Party the future of liberalism is in jeopardy from those within its own ranks.
In truth, liberals in Washington are pathetic, washed-up, feeble tyrannical enforcers. Before being murdered Budd buried Beatrix alive just as leftists have repeatedly attempted to bury Rush. Beatrix left-for-dead rose from the grave like “Maha Rushie” who again and again escapes damage to his stellar career. Limbaugh resurrects behind a microphone, while “drive by media” types take victory laps celebrating the radio host’s career cooling in a crypt.
Hospitalized in Honolulu with chest pain Rush was reported to be in serious condition causing a corporate gasp in the Conservative community. Unlike, comedian Wanda Sykes who, in May, extended typical liberal compassion by voicing the sentiment of the left, “Rush Limbaugh, ‘I hope the country fails’ — I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? ”
In Kill Bill, Bill commissioned and then called off Elle Driver, the California Mountain Snake, to cheerfully finish off a comatose Beatrix. Beatrix Kiddo, like Rush, was down but not out. A whistle while working Elle arrived at the hospital prepared to inject cataleptic Kiddo with a concoction, whose contents insured the Samurai warrior remain asleep forever. Keeping in mind those who shared the Hawaiian Islands for vacation, it was in Rush’s best interest to prevent nurses with hypodermic needles access to his IV bag.
Given up for dead the man “with talent on loan from God” thankfully is very much alive. Kit Carson, Limbaugh’s chief of staff, told The Associated Press “Limbaugh left for his Christmas vacation on December 23 and was due to return to his show January 4. Carson didn’t have any information on whether that schedule would change.”
For liberals, the “Weapon of Mass Instruction” showing up behind the “Golden Microphone” four days after being rushed to the hospital, is worse than Beatrix with one fell swoop taking out Elle’ Driver’s viable eye. Rush reporting for work on Monday is on par with leaving the left dying from a Black Mamba venomous bite in a trailer next to the corpse of “Sidewinder” Budd.
And so the Kill Bill story ends, raised by a pimp named Esteban Vihaio “Snake Charmer” Bill is tracked down by Beatrix. The warrior confronts the enemy, meets and escapes from a cadre of killers with the child Kiddo once thought was dead.
Thus, will be the story of “America’s Truth-Detector,” the “most dangerous man in America,” Rush Hudson Limbaugh the Beatrix Kiddo of politics. When all is said and done the standard-bearer champion of Conservatives’ will be “The Last Man Standing.” Limbaugh’s “undeniable truth of life” as always is poised to survive, while liberalism, like the antagonist in Kill Bill, lies motionless and dead in the tall grass of political insignificance.