Obama Took On a Level Five Lifeguard Position with Kiddie Pool Experience

gg-lifeguard-standLet’s just say you are a first season lifeguard who just got their certification, and your maiden assignment is to stand on the side of a kiddie pool for a season…would that experience be enough preparation to do ocean rescue? Would it be wise to fancy yourself a Level 5 Lifeguard and climb up onto the perch the following season at an oceanfront beach? Your sunglasses are in place, you have a perfectly slathered triangle of Noxzema on your nose and you look stunning in your Speedo. However, the ocean is a rough place, the waves are crashing, the undertow is out of control and you have no CPR training. You have no current Standard First Aid and Personal Safety training or even a First Responder Certificate, but you sure can dog paddle!

You’ve made lots of friends who believe in you and energetically encourage you to live your dream. So, feeling good about yourself, totally confident you’re prepared for the job you scale your roost with full, bold confidence, convinced and assured that you’re more than aptly prepared and surely the best man for the job.

Once there, when the people who depend on you for  safety have a crisis and find themselves drowning beneath the crashing waves, what do you do? Toot on your whistle and toss them a blow-up Barney tube? When you realize that you are responsible for powerless people waving to you from the ocean — going under, once, twice, three times, what happens when you realize you don’t know where to find the lifeline ropes and you have no clue where the poles are to attach those ropes to, what are your options?

Time is running out and the helpless are swallowing large quantities of salt water while you are busy running back and forth in the sand looking for the landlines. Do you get gripped with fear yourself when you realize you don’t know how to row a dory or “officially” use a rescue board?

What happens when you realize you’re not a guest star on Baywatch and this is for real, you have to quickly find a way to rescue dying submerged swimmers? What will you say to those, who make it out alive? How will you explain yourself to those who depended on you for protection and believed you belonged in the supercilious position you placed yourself in?

These are all great questions for Barack Obama to contemplate, while  the nation drowns on his watch.  For the rest of us, it high time we answered the obvious question. Wouldn’t it have been better for everyone if Barry did a few more seasons overseeing the wading pool before placing him in the position of head lifeguard?